We decided not to cross the line.

Episode 78. Hunji's phone call

living in Paris

Since I couldn’t see Julien very often,

we mostly kept in touch by phone and text.




After our first meeting in Paris,

it was something I only learned after a few months had passed,

he was one year older than me,

and he was an only child.




at the Beaux-Arts de Paris art school,

he said he majored in painting.




After his parents returned to Korea,

he once said that someday he wanted to live there

and teach students at a university in Korea.




Sometimes, if he took Monday or Friday off,

he would come to Spain and see me, staying through the weekend.





That day, too, it was Friday when he had taken time off and come to Spain

to spend time with me.





After we had dinner together,

we were out for a walk

when I got a call from Korea.





It was from Hoonji’s number.




'Ah... so Representative Kim told him...'




Maybe I had been waiting for this number,

and maybe I had been hoping it would never come.



Not knowing whether I should answer or not,

I just kept staring at my phone screen.





"Why are you just looking at it instead of answering?"





"It’s a number from Korea."





"Could it be... your ex-boyfriend?"





I couldn’t answer easily.





Just that brief silence

seemed to give him the answer.





"I’ll step away, so

take it comfortably."




Without even waiting for my reply,

he gave my shoulder a light pat and stepped away to give me space.





I took a deep breath,

and pressed the call button.





"Hello?"





"It’s me."




For a moment, I couldn’t say anything.


"...Yes."





"Why didn’t you tell me you got a phone?"

"You didn’t even call me once..."





"Didn’t Representative Kim tell you?"

"I asked him to pass it on..."





"What are you talking about?

That you had a boyfriend?

I... don’t believe what you’re saying."






"Hoonji... it’s true.

I’m seriously seeing that person.

I don’t want to do anything

that would hurt him.

So don’t call me anymore.

I won’t answer."






"You’re really saying you’re seeing someone else, not me?"

"You’re saying that’s true?"





"...It’s true."





"You’re really doing

something that cruel to me?"






"Please, don’t shake me up anymore and leave me alone.

Every time I think of you,

it feels like my heart is being torn apart.

I want to be at peace now, too.

Don’t contact me... please."





"You said you’d wait until I accepted you.

I’m trying so hard

to keep that promise..."

"Don’t try that hard anymore.





You’re trying to do something difficult.

You’re trying to do something that doesn’t make sense."

"I can’t do anything about my own feelings either,






so what do you want me to do...?"

I couldn’t bear to keep listening






to his tearful voice any longer,

so I hung up and turned off the phone.

And then,





I sank to the ground right there and cried out loud.

Julien, who had been standing far away, ran over





and held me as I sat collapsed on the ground.

"This person who keeps shaking me up from time to time





is driving me crazy. Really...

I want to let go, but

I can’t, and it feels like I’m going insane.

Please do something about me.

Please stop me from being shaken like this. Please..."

Holding me as I sobbed,





Julien said nothing

and patted my back.

I didn’t know how much time had passed.





The sun was sinking low.

Until my crying subsided,




he kept holding me just like that.

After I’d regained some composure,



we walked a little farther

and climbed up to a hill

overlooking the whole village.

When we sat on the bench,





he warmly took my hand.

"My parents are coming to Paris next week."




"Really? They’re coming to see Julien?"




"Well...




to be exact, they’re coming to see you."

"Me? You told your parents?"





"Yeah.





I told them from the very beginning when we started seeing each other,

so they already knew."

"I see..."





He was someone who had never hidden me from the start.




Unlike Hoonji,

he was someone who could openly be with me.

"Would it be okay if you met my parents next weekend?"




At his sudden words,





I couldn’t immediately find the words to answer.

Meeting his parents meant this wasn’t just a simple romance,





either.

It also meant

something more serious.




He tightened the hand holding mine.

In an instant, I felt wide awake.




"Yes. I’d be happy to meet them."




"You can do that?"




"Yes, of course.

For your parents to come all the way to Paris to see me

is really touching."





"Thank you."





He met my eyes

and kissed my forehead.




When I was with Julien,

my heart didn’t race the way it did when I was with Hoonji.

Instead, my heart felt warm and at ease.




That calmness

was what I needed most right now.

 



"Sleep here tonight."