I have a girlfriend [short story]
🍈 "Nothing to Say" - SOLE
If you listen, I will give you my love. 1000% immersion is a bonus.
[Please note that the handwriting is a bit sloppy, I really just wrote it spontaneously]
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Twenty-seven. To me, who is slowly and steadily approaching the end of my twenties, the one person who is my only supporter and a comfort in and of himself.
"I really want to see you like crazy, Do Yeo-ju."
Park Jimin. We met when we were twenty, knowing nothing about the world. We endured through a very eventful time. When we were about to break down, one person was there to hold us back_ He was always the one and only.
"I'm dying to see Park Jimin."
No. How will I look at you when you're dead? The image of you pouting is still vivid in my mind. After our dates, we'd each return home, send text messages to let you know we'd arrived, and then talk on the phone. We'd stay up all night to meet each other, even though it took us a long time to meet since we worked far apart. ··· ··· I thought these days would continue. Just a year ago, we were so in love with each other that we couldn't live without each other.
Twenty-seven. Our end is finally beginning to come into view.
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The boredom that people often talk about. We didn't even know that word existed. We never thought that we would grow closer over the seven years we spent together.
···But, that boredom_ doesn't come suddenly one day, but comes silently. It was when a slight change occurred to us who had always been the same.
At the age of twenty-three, you suddenly made a bombshell announcement after being discharged from the military. You said you wanted to become a soldier. Your original dream was to be an actor. That's why you came to the Department of Theater and Film... and then suddenly becoming a soldier? At this point, when you were consistently failing at whatever path you had chosen, changing your path... I thought it was something I should have told you not to do.
But you became a professional soldier despite your family's opposition. I knew you had talent for sports, but rumor has it that you were famous for your physical strength within the unit. It's even been said that the rumor spread to the female soldiers.
So you became a soldier, and since you were far away from me, we would meet each other for seven hours each way. At the time, I didn't even know it was a hassle. There were times when I was so happy.
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The reason our relationship started to go wrong was... when I passed the teacher's exam. It was a dream and goal that I had longed for since I was young. Even at a young age, Jimin was able to achieve what he wanted right away, and that motivated me whenever I saw you.
At the age of twenty-six, I started working as a full-time high school teacher, and as a homeroom teacher for second-year high school students, I saw children who were only eight years younger than me... I remembered myself, and... it was just great.
So I'm going to give career counseling to students who are taking mock exams every month, counsel their parents, and ask them what the percentage of early and regular admissions is for each university this year... Since I'm your first homeroom teacher, I think I unconditionally want to do well. Maybe that's why I naturally don't have any reason to contact you or meet you.
If I didn't contact you first, you wouldn't contact me at all until then. That eventually continued and I ended up not contacting you for a month.
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And now, again, you haven't been in touch for over a week. I couldn't just sit back and let this happen. Early on a weekend morning, I called you out_ and the longing I'd felt for you for a month since I hadn't seen you began to cool down as I met you.
Normally, we would be happy and smiling at each other. But I couldn't find that kind of smile between us anymore. Maybe each of my small emotional changes had been saying goodbye for a long time.
"How are you doing these days?"
Perhaps because it was so early in the morning, there was no one else in the cafe besides us. As a result, every time I spoke, the sound of rain outside would infiltrate the conversation.
"Yeah. You?"
Me too... Well, I guess so. Isn't work hard? We used to have so much to talk about just by looking at each other's faces, but now I find myself making up stories to cover up the awkwardness... It's just bitter.
"It's something I always do, what is it?"
I took a sip of the coffee in the mug in front of me, and after that, there was silence again. The water droplets that had formed in the cup slowly soaked the floor. A very small puddle had formed. I watched the scene for a while and then spoke first. Actually, I called you today because I had something to say.
"We... have enough time."
It's been a long time since we last contacted each other unexpectedly... and it's still the same now. Your eyes somehow seem like you have no idea what I'm saying. Yes, thanks to those eyes, I was able to postpone our breakup until now.
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"How about we stop?"
I wasn't brave enough to see your expression after I blurted out those words. For a while, I didn't hear any response from you, and I just kept fiddling with my fingertips.
"······Let's take some time to think."
"·········."
By this point, weren't you the only one who had sorted out your feelings? If we've been out of contact for a month, our relationship is already over. How much more do you plan on hurting me? There were more than a few things I wanted to tell you right now... But I can't say them and I'm just mute.
"···until when?"
"······."
"I think I had enough time."
"That's because I need time."
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So, I foolishly decided to trust him once more. After a conversation that was a waste of time, all I got out of it was... tears. As soon as I returned to my studio apartment where I live alone, things that were usually just familiar reminded me of old memories with you.
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ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ
"Huh? What's wrong, Park Jimin? You came so suddenly?"
"I suddenly missed you so much, Do Yeo-ju."
One day, he came to my house out of the blue without any notice and rang the doorbell. I thought, “Oh, Park Jimin, can you live without me?”
"I can never live without it."
You, who responded in almost 0.1 seconds.
ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ
"Jimin-"
"huh?"
"Will I look good with short hair?"
"It's hard to find something that doesn't suit Do Yeo-ju."
Even if those were just empty words, you always said nice things to me.
ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ
"It's our 4th anniversary today - Are you really going to stay at my house?"
"Yeah. No?"
"Yeah. No."
"Then let's go to my house."
You, who spent the whole day in bed without even thinking about letting me go.
ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ
"No...what are you doing lol"
"Shh. Shh. I'm cooking."
"···Is this something people can eat?"
"···I don't know about that."
"Still, it's food that has the best sincerity in the world."
Despite your poor cooking skills, there's nothing you wouldn't do for me.
ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ
"Hey... I'm really having a hard time."
"I wish I could just eat and live without doing anything."
"I'll work harder to feed you."
If it gets hard, you can always quit. Even though I knew it was empty words, I would always feel excited for you again.
If it were you, I would have been confident that I could make the uncertain future clear.
ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ
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It was hard to find a place in the house where you weren't left behind. After all, I guess I was pretty sincere to you during that long time. Enough to devote my all to you. Maybe that's why my heart was empty. To the point where I couldn't do anything.
I thought everything would be easy if I broke up with you. I thought I could handle it on my own. But I ended up being unable to do anything. It's only been three hours since we broke up, and if this is how it is... I couldn't have predicted what would happen to me.
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[22:13 PM]
In the end, I must have fallen asleep sitting there, exhausted from crying so much. I had a deep sleep for the first time in a long time. When I opened my eyes, darkness without any light greeted me... It couldn't have been more lonely. I couldn't come to my senses for a while, and when I was about to get up, a bell rang from somewhere.
I took out my phone from the bag I had taken out in the morning when it rang. And the caller was... 'Jimin🐣'
At first, I hesitated whether or not I should answer the phone... I hesitated a little, no, a lot, but I was afraid that the ringtone would disconnect if I kept going, so I answered the phone in a hurry.
"···huh."
-"Hello, are you by any chance Jimin's girlfriend?"
Of course I expected to hear your voice, but the unfamiliar voice that defied my expectations brought me back from my dazed state.
"···Oh, yes. But."
- "I think you should come to the bar in front of Won Yul University right now. "
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The place he spoke of with an unfamiliar voice was a place Jimin and I had been to before, so I quickly left the house as soon as I hung up the phone and caught a taxi. It takes more than three hours to get to my house... What on earth are you thinking of doing at a bar in this neighborhood? Not much time had passed... and I entered the bar,
I found you lying on the table by yourself at a corner table by the window.
-"Ah, that... Park Jimin's girlfriend?"
He nodded without saying anything, and he sighed, saying that he had called him out early in the evening and that Jimin had emptied three bottles of soju by himself. Seeing that he was wearing a military uniform, he thought that he must be in the same class as him...
I had to go, so I asked him to take care of me somehow_ and then he left.
I approached him without saying anything, pushed the fallen bottles aside, and gently patted his back. Jimin, wake up. You heard my voice, and soon you stood up, looking up at me.
"······Get up, let's go home."
"I have a girlfriend···."
"······."
How much must he have drunk to the point that I can't even recognize him. He said that with his eyes completely drained, but his insignificant words made a part of my heart ache. I sat down next to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he tried to lie down again.
"······Uh... Doyeoju's perfume......"
To my horror, it was Jimin who recognized the female protagonist right away.
"Lady... Lady..."
Jimin buried his head on Yeoju's shoulder, so much so that it would be appropriate to say that he was hugging Yeoju, without giving Yeoju time to do anything, and dug into her arms. I can't do without you...
"······."
"I thought it was for you..."
Maybe that wasn't it... I thought maybe I was bothering you for no reason. It's not like I forgot you or wanted to let you go. I was wrong. It's all my fault... Jimin, sobbing, says all the wrong things he's done so far. Maybe he was trying to find a chance to apologize for those things too.
"······."
"······Can't you give me a chance?"
It was the moment when my determination, which I had worked so hard to make, came to an empty conclusion. I guess I must like you so much that I forgot all the emotional exhaustion I had endured until now. Like a fool.
[Manggaemanggae Saddam]
This... Actually, I was planning to end it like this. But the ending is a bit ambiguous, so I'm thinking about making a side story with [the backstory of this situation, just the two getting along well]. ((When I have time...))
Oh, and those who are quick-witted might have noticed, but the female lead's name is Do-yeol, and she's a high school teacher, and Jimin is a career soldier... 😏 Do you get the answer? Yes. It's a fantasy world. Hehe. What if the two didn't get married, and their first meeting was different? I wrote it under that assumption. I also included a similar reason why the two almost broke up.
Lastly, this short story is a material that came to mind after listening to the song "Amumdo" that I mentioned earlier... hurrah! So, you have to read it while listening to the song to really... see it as reading. If there are people who haven't heard the song, I highly recommend listening to it and reading it again!
