Hoseok on his way home after school
The sound of an ambulance getting closer
I feel anxious
I ran in a hurry
An ambulance moving away
Ho-seok entered the house trembling with anxiety.
A bottle and glass of alcohol lying on the table
And the drugs
Mom, mom
There was no answer
I rushed out, but the ambulance was already gone.
A few days later
After the funeral
Hoseok returns to an empty house
I lay face down on the bed and cried.
My mother had been suffering from depression.
I lived on alcohol and drugs all day long
Recently, I felt like I couldn't sleep without medication.
It got worse and worse and I ended up with alcoholism.
A while ago, I even seemed to have panic disorder.
I couldn't understand my mother, who was getting worse and worse.
I was told not to drink alcohol because my heart is not in good condition.
No matter how much I tried to stop him, it was no use.
Every time that happened, Mom quietly looked at Ho-seok with sad eyes.
Look, I saw it
Stroking Hoseok's cheek
"Mom, it's okay as long as Hoseok is here."
But that was it
When I returned to my room, the sound of a seizure began soon after.
Now, I didn't even go and stop him, I just covered my ears.
'Jjanggeurang'
I didn't want to care
But I'm worried so I go
The helper comes out carrying broken glass pieces.
Mom seemed to be asleep.
I cried even more sadly as memories of the past came to mind.
The next day
My father was nowhere to be seen
I went into my room to organize my mother's belongings.
I held back the tears that threatened to fall and opened the drawer first.
Various items such as medicine bottles and jewelry boxes
Then I found a note
I took it out and looked through it
It was my mother's diary
As I read, my body trembled and I couldn't stop crying.
"Ugh, sob, sob, sob"
Then a letter fell out.
Hoseok
Mom... my dear Hoseok
I don't think my mom can stand it anymore
Sorry...
I'm even more sorry because I only said I love you
Your mother should be by your side to protect you.
I'm sorry for being a burden
But when Hoseok was born
The first time I called my mom
When you take your first step
When I first received an award and was happy
I will take it all with me without forgetting it.
Don't cry, Mom says she likes Ho-seok the best when he smiles.
Lastly, I'll ask my father and...
That kid too
Hoseok couldn't believe it
What are you talking about, Mom?
I shouted, but it was no use.
I threw and broke everything in the house and screamed.
The lump in my stomach didn't go away
I ran out of the house like crazy.
Tears clouded my vision.
I wiped my eyes, but tears began to cloud my vision again.
Entering a dark, empty playground
I fell down helplessly
The contents of the diary came to mind
Mom and Dad's marriage was a political marriage arranged by my parents.
My ambitious father got married without any intention of marrying me.
But my mom knew all about it
Mom fell in love with Dad at first sight.
Mom longed for Dad's love, but only received cold indifference.
I was just coming back
Even when I was born, my father's work came first.
Even though I was born, my mother was lonely.
Now I can finally see my mother's sad eyes that always look at me
I thought I knew
So, I was the mother who only looked at me.
But as I grew up, the time I spent at home decreased.
I often gave short answers to my mother's questions.
Recently, I've been yelling at my mom and fighting with her.
My heart ached so much
A few weeks later, my father brought home a new mother and a baby who seemed to be just starting to walk.
Longing for mother turned into hatred for father
It started to change
During that time, I tried my best to study and exercise.
I tried to get my father's approval, but
Now it was all over
Looking at my father
"There's no need for that. Even though my father said that, he's still a human being.
Mom...what did Mom say to Dad?"
"This bastard"
The father slapped Ho-seok in anger.
I left home that way
I was soon taken home
At school, all we did was fight.
During the vacation before the new semester, my father took me to
I transferred to the school where Taehyung is.
I thought that if Taehyung was there, I would be able to calm down a bit.