From that day on, my gaze turned towards Min-gyu more often.
At school,
At the table,
In the hallway,
Just looking at the side profile of that kid doing nothing
Because I keep thinking about it.
The things that kid said.
"I don't think that's the case for you."
"I wish you didn't know."
and…
"You like it when I'm quiet and you break it down."
What the hell, that means
How far does this go?
Where does sincerity begin?
That evening,
Min-gyu was alone in the living room.
I had only one earphone in, and the TV was on but I wasn't watching it.
I approached cautiously.
"I'm bored?"
He turned his head.
"No. Why?"
“I just… I’m bored too.”
He tapped the seat next to him without saying a word.
I sat on the sofa.
We said nothing,
We were just in the same space together.
After some time passed,
I spoke first.
“I’ve been having a lot of strange thoughts lately.”
"For example?"
"Why did you say that to me?
You know, that 'I don't think that way about you' thing."
Min-gyu looked quietly next to me.
The eyes were neither dark nor bright.
"You didn't like it?"
"no.
But… I was wondering why you ‘had to’ say that.”
He exhaled and said.
"You keep
You wonder what kind of person I am."
"Yeah. I'm still curious."
"That's what I said.
"I just want to be a good person to you."
I couldn't answer that question.
My chest felt strangely tight,
After much deliberation, this is what I ended up with.
"You, are you paying attention to me right now?"
He averted his eyes.
It was the most definitive answer.
"…so do i."
At my words, Min-gyu looked at me again.
The expression on his face changed slightly.
It didn't collapse, though,
There was a bit of hesitation, confusion, and…
There was something softening.
“I thought I shouldn’t worry about it.”
"why?"
"Because we live together.
Because I don't want to make things difficult for you.
"I don't want to confuse you."
"So, am I confused now?"
He smiled faintly.
And said.
"I guess so."
At that moment, my arms and his arms were slightly touching as we sat on the sofa.
It just touched slightly.
I didn't avoid it. And he didn't avoid it either.
Same space,
Same sofa,
In the same quiet time
We didn't say anything
Certainly, something has changed.
It was my arm that touched me, but it was my heart that shook.