A man who doesn't know how to express himself

Prolroge. The dice that have already been thrown cannot be returned.

Prologe. The dice cannot be returned once they have been thrown.

I didn't love him. I definitely did. No, I should've just never met him. I didn't know that parting would engrave names into each other's hearts. I didn't know. No matter how hard I struggled to forget him, I just went back to where I started.

He was so vivid in my mind. Why did he hurt me? I hurt him. Why did he still love me?

***

We said we were happier than anyone else. I always loved him, the one who shined brighter than anyone else. I was happier than any other moment I'd ever been with him. No, I could almost say that moment itself was me.

***

He didn't love me. No, he did, but I didn't feel it. He never showed it. I tried everything I could to get him to express it to me, but was I being selfish?

***

I guess I was selfish. All my efforts were in vain. My heart ached. He loved me but never showed it. There were times when I doubted him. Did he really love me?

***

"You... do you love me?" He was silent for a moment at my words, then took me somewhere else and changed the subject. "You really don't love me, do you?" "I see. Now I understand." As expected, a clear liquid enveloped my eyes.

***

It was too much. He left me without even once telling me he loved me. When I told him we were breaking up, he just stood there in silence. He didn't even grab me or call me. Yeah, Min Yoongi. That was good, damn it.

***

The tears that lingered in my eyes every day wouldn't leave. I cried every day. I was just sad. I kept thinking about him. I should've just caught him then. Whether I expressed it or not, just seeing him was nice.

***

You passed by. It felt like the whole world was filled with you, but you passed by and disappeared. As if you never existed in the first place, we will never meet again. Someday, we will say goodbye. What are you doing while I love you? While you loved me, I had a hard time.

***

They say painful memories become more painful the more you hold on to them. So let's just forget about them now. Let's just forget them harshly. Even though I loved, it hurt. As I live, good days will come when I'm alone, and by then, this love will have been nothing more than a long-standing illusion. Now I have to live in a world without you. I'm worried.

I wouldn't be able to find you unless I had wings.

***

It's painful. If I had just lived that day, if I had just smiled and gone on a date with him, would I not be suffering like this? But now it was an irreversible fate. It seems I wasn't meant to be with him.

***

The dice I'd already thrown continued to torment me. Today, it was especially painful. Seeing him struggle through each day, it seemed he hadn't forgotten me either. Well, even if we didn't love each other, I felt affection for him.

***

Why are you making it hard for me? Just forget about it. I didn't love him anyway, so why can't I forget? Seeing him struggle drained me. I felt guilty, thinking it was because of me. He was a bad guy who made me suffer, who never expressed himself, I kept telling myself.