BREATHE

#.042 Will and Testament

{history}

The fact that you are reading this right now, Suhyun... probably... means that I am no longer in front of your eyes.

I can't even dare to imagine how painful and difficult it must be to come to terms with it.

First of all, I'm so sorry for making you suffer... and I'm even more sorry for hurting you.

Still, I hope you don't get too sad that I'm not here.

It might sound like a selfish wish... but I will always be by your side.

I will always love you... and protect you so that no one can treat you carelessly.

So even if I'm not right in front of you... please don't have too hard a time.

Actually, someday... I’ve imagined a time when I would deliver my last words to you like this.

You know... it's a job where it's hard to predict when, how, or why you might die...

So I used to say that the best way is not to have anyone around who would grieve and be in pain if I died...

Because I love you so much... because I cherish you so much... and treasure you

So, I feel like I might be making things difficult for you... so in case a situation like this arises...

I told myself over and over again what to write here: "Let's not leave them to suffer alone."

But when it actually comes time to use something like this... it's not like such a situation is right in front of me.

Tears just started flowing, so I didn't even know what I was writing.

Please bear with me even if what I'm writing right now is all over the place... heh

I died earlier than I thought... me... right? Heh

I should have met you sooner... Even though I was busy with work, I should have treated you better.

Suhyeon, even while you are reading this, I’m probably busy regretting it.

I'm already regretting it right now as I'm writing this... haha

The words I was thinking are all jumbled up in my head... I don't know where to start.

Just one thing, don't struggle too much, don't be in pain...

Don't let your daily life crumble or disappear just because I'm not here.

Please live well so that I can look down on you with a pleased expression from heaven.

With the thought that I am always by your side

I've gone on for too long... I hope you never have to open this...

You've already opened it, so you must be watching... heh. Once again... I'm sorry and thank you...

_and...

I love you very much

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*Sob*... *Gasp*... *Sob*...

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Ugh... *sob*... *cough*... *sob*...

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..Hmph..Sob...I miss you..Hmph..Really..Sob..

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If I leave like this... *sob*... *sob*... *choke*...

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What am I supposed to do all alone...

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Me... *sob*... *choke*... *sniff*... How... can I... live well... without you, Senior... *sniff*...

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Hng... *gasp*... *sob*... *gasp*