Comforting words/Healing words/Reading radio/I'll ​​hug you 2

4. What I wanted to kill

A reporter went to the prison where a murderer was imprisoned for killing his own brother to interview her.

"Hello, I am a reporter for this company."

He handed her his business card.

"What do you want to know?"

"Why did you kill your own brother?"

"It sucks"

"yes?"

"That kid kept teasing me and hitting me, and I wanted to kill him from the beginning. I just held back."

"Why does it feel like everything I've been holding back has burst out?"

"I don't know...um...my brother kept touching my weaknesses...my traumas?"

“I kept enduring it back then, saying it was okay, but there are things I can’t endure, right?”

“Do you still have any memories or specific feelings from that time?”

"I don't know. I lost my memory after I picked up the knife. When I came to, my brother was lying in the room, bleeding. I went to the bathroom and washed my bloody hands."

"How did you feel when you came to your senses?"

"Um....I see. Oh, he's dead. What should I do? Should I turn myself in?"

"Is that all?"

"Yes, I wasn't particularly scared or afraid. I just wondered what Mom and Dad would think of me... I told them once before that I wanted to kill my brother."

"What did your parents say at that time?"

"I said it was because you were young, so I just let it go. It might have been the best they could do, but it wasn't for me."

"But sometimes, even when I'm in custody, I think about it."

"What?"

"The person I wanted to kill wasn't my older brother who teased and bullied me."

"I wonder if I'm too old to handle that kind of bullying."

"When I think back on it, the person I imagined killing might not have been my brother, but me."

The reporter was about to ask more questions, but a notification came that the interview was over, and he had no choice but to get up.

"Okay, thank you."

"Come back next time, oppa. I really like talking to that guy."

"Yeah, later in heaven"