I forgive you

Side story (1)

Today I failed to fulfill my last wish.

God cruelly ignored my fervent prayers to finish the last performance well.

Today I made a stupid mistake with my lyrics.

What will people think of me?

Should I think of him as a retard who makes mistakes in lyrics, or should I sympathize with him and say that he is human and cannot be perfect?

How will you remember me?

The password Taehyung gave me was actually a simple problem for me.

The day Taehyung and I met, June 13th.

He had the same password for our house and our cell phone. 0613.

But I haven't really looked at him until now. I didn't want to worry Taehyung... that guy who's like my little brother.

But now things were different.

I really wanted to see it this time.

Because it was the last... Because it really is over now.

This time I really wanted to know what people thought of me.

So, I gritted my teeth and turned on the computer, scared as I was. People might curse at me, but how bad could it be? I brainwashed myself.

And I clicked on the text at the very top.

There were already hundreds of comments.

The text was just one line long.

-Min Yoongi, kill yourself lol

The comments were all similar.

I guess I'll feel better if I die.

Why on earth am I alive? What do you want me to do? What did I do so wrong?

As my thoughts became more complicated, tears began to flow from my eyes without me knowing.

It was maddening to think that so many people would be happy when I died.

윤기

Huh...sob sob heuuh....uhhh...uhhh...uhhh...uhhh

My chest hurt... I felt so suffocated... It was so hard to breathe, I really wanted to die.

But I couldn't even cry out loud right now.

Because Taehyung will wake up. If he sees this, he'll be more heartbroken than anyone else.

I know full well that guy is that kind of guy.

I covered my mouth with both hands with all my might.

But the tears flowed without stopping, contrary to my heart.

I no longer have the confidence to live in this cruel world.

Yeah... If I'm the object of your hatred. If you hate me that much. I'll die, willingly.

If I die, it'll all be over.

I'm comfortable, and you're happy. We're both happy.

I didn't have the confidence to say my final goodbyes in person.

So, I tore out a page from the now meaningless notebook that used to be my lyrics notebook and wrote down, one letter at a time, the words I had always wanted to say so desperately, but could only keep in my heart.

'Let's keep greetings short so we don't have any regrets, so let's write quickly.'

The promise I made to myself was shattered as soon as I wrote the first line.

To my family, Taehyung... my people who were my everything

As soon as I wrote this one line, I broke down.

The only people on my side, who were truly my everything in my life.

I promised myself to write quickly and finish it quickly, but the tears that clouded my vision kept me from doing so.

Yeah, let's say that's possible since it's the last one.

At that moment, the pen in my hand snapped and broke.

I guess I was giving strength without realizing it.

The black ink from the pen flowed down my hand.

윤기

Oh, damn it. Nothing's working... sigh

I took a new pen out of the drawer, steeled myself, and began writing the letter.

Those were truly my last words.

Tears fell down my face every time I wrote each letter.

I bit my lip so much that the bitter taste of blood already lingered in my mouth.

By repeating the process of crying and writing like that several times, I was able to bring out all the stories that were inside me.

Until now, I didn't want to show my weakness to others.

I'm afraid I'll become weaker.

I thought that was right.

In the end, the weakness that had been rotting inside me consumed me.

I went to the kitchen, grabbed a small knife, and went to Taehyung's room.

I quietly opened the door and saw that he was curled up and asleep, without even changing his clothes properly.

I laid him down properly and covered him with a blanket.

태형

Uhm... Yoongi-hyung... No. Don't do it...

My whole body froze up.

윤기

Hey... you, are you awake...?

태형

Ugh... um...

He was asleep. He was clearly asleep, oblivious to anything.

윤기

....I'm sorry, Taehyung... sigh... sob sob... I can't do this anymore, hyung. Me too... I can't do this anymore...

So I stood there for a long time, just saying sorry.

윤기

Yeah... I really need to get some rest now, Taehyung.

태형

Ugh... Hyung Yoongi... Hehe.....

윤기

Baby... live well. Take care...

I left the house, trying to keep my steps steady.

The streets were quiet a little after 9:30.

I walked to my studio.

To end this tiresome fight.

Continued in side story 2