If pain has a forecast

09

김석진

Alcohol..., did you drink?

윤여주

It's up to you, author. What does it matter to you whether I drink or not?

My sadness wouldn't go away, so I ended up speaking to the author in a grumbling tone. I hadn't intended to say it like that, but it just came out without me realizing it.

김석진

It doesn't matter... Just be careful on your way in.

윤여주

no···,

The author continued on his way. My tantrums had prevented us from even speaking properly. Now, overwhelmed with grief, I couldn't hold back tears, so I sobbed the entire way home.

When I got home, the sleeves of my coat were soaking wet. It was so wet that I couldn't even wipe them off properly.

윤여주

Why on earth are you doing this to me... sigh... sigh...

김태형 큐레이터

[are you okay?]

It wasn't the author's call. After that, I hadn't heard from him since. I hated him so much, and I hated myself for waiting for a call that never came.

The next morning, I woke to the stinging sun shining down on me. I'd cried so much that my face and eyes were swollen as I looked in the mirror.

윤여주

Sigh... I really don't want to go...

김남준 관장

Oh, you're here?

윤여주

Yes, you're early.

김남준 관장

I heard from Curator Kim that he knew the author.

윤여주

Yeah... what...

김남준 관장

Yeah, good luck. I'm glad this exhibition is going well. I'll go.

윤여주

yes···.

김태형 큐레이터

Curator Yoon!

윤여주

Oh, uh...

김태형 큐레이터

Why did you ignore my calls yesterday? I could tell you were crying a lot.

윤여주

Tea... Me?

김태형 큐레이터

Yes, a lot.

윤여주

under···.

김태형 큐레이터

The author is coming.

윤여주

Is today the last day you're coming, author?

김태형 큐레이터

Except for the last day, there won't be anything to see for a while.

윤여주

Just take care of it in the morning. I'll take care of it in the afternoon.

김태형 큐레이터

Where are you?

윤여주

Where? Is there anywhere else besides that place? Don't follow me.

When I feel frustrated or need some alone time to reflect, there's a place I go to that feels like my hideout. Across from Exhibition Room 7, in a corner, sits an unused exhibition room. There, a single plaster statue stands proudly in the center.

It was an anonymous plaster statue, completely unknown by whom, and unclaimed. I transported it here. The director initially objected, but he ultimately gave his approval, judging it a better option than demolition, since it was an unused exhibition space.

So, until now, this plaster statue has been by my side and has become the only friend who understands my frustration.

윤여주

it's hard···.

김석진

What are you doing here?

윤여주

Don't follow me... How did the author know about this place...?

김석진

I saw the curator come here.

윤여주

Did you follow me...? Why?

김석진

If you're having a hard time because of me, I hope you're not.

윤여주

Ha... why don't you do it, author? Don't like it, don't find it difficult. Why is that?

김석진

Calm down... I guess I didn't recognize you, curator.

윤여주

That's not what I'm saying. What I'm upset and resentful about is that the author doesn't recognize me and is pushing me away like this. I told you I'm fine, right? If I wasn't, I wouldn't have even made the exhibition proposal in the first place.

김석진

...What if it's because I don't like the curator, and that's why I'm pushing him away?

윤여주

yes···?

No, that's not true. That's a lie, obviously. He's deliberately telling me to give up. I really don't understand why he's pushing me away like that.

김석진

I don't like curators. I just wanted to find them because they were my special first love.

윤여주

Lies... No, you don't. You like me.

김석진

...Okay, I won't tell you not to like me. But please don't expect me to like you. I'm sorry for following you secretly. I'll go.

윤여주

······.

I was a little taken aback by the author's glaring, implacable stance. He's usually one to consider others' feelings before acting, but this was so uncharacteristic of him. His decisive actions made me wonder if he truly disliked me.

윤여주

Ugh... Ugh... Why are you doing that...

In fact, I thought it would all be over when the author's memories returned. I thought they'd find each other's first loves, and then that first love would develop into a relationship.

Perhaps it was because I failed to live up to my expectations, but I continued to feel increasingly sad, and now I didn't even have the strength to cry. I was depressed. Why could love make me suffer like this?

윤여주

Will my depression go away if I end this love? Friend, tell me. Do I have to end it? Really?

If I'd known from the beginning that the author didn't like me, would I have been less depressed? If I'd had some foresight to understand the author's feelings, would I have been less hurt and upset?

윤여주

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.

G

No. Are you okay?

윤여주

yes···?

G

Are you okay? Your eyes are unfocused...

윤여주

Ah... it's okay.

G

Are you sure this is okay?

‘No, I’m not okay…’

윤여주

Yes, it's okay. Are you coming from the Kim Seok-jin exhibition?

G

Yes, I shed a tear after watching the last documentary. Is that you, Curator Yoon Yeo-ju?

윤여주

Huh? How do you know me?

G

I saw the opening day yesterday.

윤여주

Are you here again today?

G

Yes, I'm a fan of artist Kim Seok-jin. I came here because I wanted to see his drawings again.

I used to be the only fan. When did I get so many? A sudden thought occurred to me: What would have happened if I had always treated the author as a fan?

It was much better before I knew the author was my senior. After all, it's better than the author disappearing, saying he doesn't like me.

윤여주

okay···.

G

Thank you for opening the exhibition.

윤여주

Do I have anything to thank you for? I should be thanking the author. Anyway, thank you for coming.

I forced a smile and greeted the visitors. Inside the exhibition hall, I saw the artist walking around, explaining his work. I stood still, staring at him from afar.

The author seemed to sense that I was watching, and he approached me. He said he didn't recognize my face, but he recognized me well.

김석진

Do you have anything else to say?

윤여주

If you look closely, you will see what you don't know.

김석진

You're wearing the same clothes. Who else here besides the curator is wearing a white suit?

윤여주

...The author clearly said that earlier. He didn't tell me not to like it. No matter what I do, don't push me away.

In the end, my choice was neither to give up nor to be depressed, but to try to have a crush again, no matter how the author reacted.

MEY메이

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