Is it hard...?

To you

I'm sick and still hurting, but I'm trying to tell my story for the sake of other children.

I'm a lonely person who likes someone else. I always go out alone. To forget my loneliness, I have to focus on one thing. Right now, that's reading a book.

Whenever I see a book about a struggling child with a happy ending, I wonder if I could be like that, but I know it's impossible. Since happy endings are rare, I feel sad, lonely, and depressed because I don't think it can end like that. No, I still feel that way...

It sounds like I'm saying I can't be happy I can't be happy I should always be sad and depressed I have no friends Those kids don't want to live but why don't the kids in my class know that they live because they can't die.....?

.....During my break time, I feel lonely so I go to the infirmary or the library. Strangely enough, both places are quiet...? I feel happy and live there. I really... like that time.

I didn't want to live, so I started self-harming a little the day before yesterday(?). When I self-harmed, the blood that came out was like I was a living "human" and I felt comforted by that blood. A knife? A knife... I used an eyebrow razor... but it didn't work well.

I was lonely and depressed at an age when I was young, and I still am, so I think I deserve to be applauded for being an adult and for having persevered through difficult times, so shouldn't I be given that much?

I heard a strange rumor today. I don't know who it is, but it's said that my partner is confessing to someone... I was curious about who it could be, but I didn't really need to know, so I didn't really ask... He seemed to be absent-minded, so I took care of him since he was my partner, but he spoke to me in a bitter tone...

I don't know why, but it was funny that he spoke like that. I wondered if that was the case for a kid who seemed to have everything going for him, but I didn't delve too deeply. I was afraid that it would make things harder for me, so I wanted to ask him who he liked. Was it a kid from our class or a kid from another school? But we weren't that close.

I couldn't ask because I didn't know, but my curiosity is only growing day by day...? I don't know if you'll tell me, but why am I curious...?

Hello, today is......I'm back. Since I'm here, I thought I'd show my face, but I'm so ugly that I can do eye terror☆ If you don't want to see it, click Exit & Back.....☆

Then I will do it (spleen) As expected, I am not good at it..

Kwak, eye cleansing!!!

Uhm....bye!