My Story & Chat & Chit Chat

My Story 1

I'm going to start telling my story. This might seem strange to you, but let's get started.

I have a lover... But there's someone who likes my lover... But that person puts his name next to the person he likes on my lover's timeline and puts my lover's name next to the person I like, and I feel bad about that...

My lover says he still loves me... Whenever I see that, I love him too, but do I love him more...? Am I second...? I keep thinking like this, and when I see the posts that he makes mentioning my lover, I think my lover probably just likes me as an acquaintance.

I think so... When I see that person's writing, I get the feeling that maybe I'm not the one... Am I just a second...? Am I being abandoned...? It makes me feel so bad and annoyed... I wish he would refrain from writing such things, but since he's my lover's friend, I can't say anything...

People say not to worry about it... I wonder if I'm the only one who's sensitive and overreacts... It's just... When I see the posts that person makes mentioning my lover, I just get annoyed, upset, and angry... I've even cried without telling my lover because of the posts that person made... I'm being sensitive and overreacting.

I don't want to react like that... but I keep getting jealous and annoyed... so I had bad thoughts like maybe I'm being ignored by my lover because of that... I shouldn't be like that, but it's really so hard and annoying that I've thought about harming myself? Or dying? I've even thought about that... really

I once picked up a knife and put it down... That's why I'm so sensitive and having a hard time right now... I don't want to tell my lover and make her upset and have a hard time for no reason... I keep thinking that it would be much easier to die... They say there are times when people really go crazy, and right now is one of those times.

I think it's time... I wonder if I'm being too obsessed... It's just so hard that I keep thinking about wanting to die...