Self-harm club

#12. Seungcheol's past [1]

09:45 PM

최승철

Yawn...

최승철

Ah, did I fall asleep as soon as I came in...

최승철

Ah, I need to change my clothes.

###

(Changed clothes)

최승철

(Thud) Ah, it's been a while since I've seen my wound...

최승철

It brings back old memories...

최승철

It was really awful...

###

[Seungcheol's Past]

12 years ago... when I was 7 years old

I have lived in a wealthy family since long ago.

I lived a rather happy life.

ah

Until my mom was still around...

최승철

[Little Seungcheol] Mom... Dad fell asleep...

승철이엄마

Is Seungcheol okay..?

최승철

I'm fine..

승철이엄마

Seungcheol, Mom is sorry for marrying a dad like that.

최승철

No, why are you sorry, Mom?

승철이엄마

Our Seungcheol is really kind... Shall we go out for a meal later?

최승철

Yeah! I want to eat a hamburger! A hamburger!

승철이엄마

Okay, I'll buy you everything you want to eat~

최승철

Sea sea

승철이아빠

Hey you bastards!!! What's so funny that you're grinning like that!!!

최승철

dad..!

승철이엄마

Dad's here. Seungcheol, you go outside..!

최승철

Again..? No..!! I want to stay with Mom!!!

승철이엄마

Seungcheol, you're a good boy, right?? Hurry up and get out of here!

승철이엄마

Then Mom will buy you everything you want and everything you want to eat, Seungcheol.

최승철

okay..

bang

승철이아빠

Hey Choi Seungcheol, aren't you coming in!!?!?!!!

승철이엄마

Leave the kid alone!!! The kid didn't do anything wrong!!

승철이아빠

Won't you let go of this???

Bang bang

최승철

Hmph... I mustn't cry...

승철이아빠

Hey Choi Seung-cheol!!!

승철이엄마

Honey, please!!!

최승철

[Startled]

최승철

(I'm scared... It's painful... I don't want to hear this sound anymore...)

최승철

Mommy... *sobbing*... Mommy...

최승철

Sob...

최승철

flaw...

최승철

[dump]

I collapsed from exhaustion after crying.

###

최승철

eww..

When I woke up

The place where I was was a hospital.

There was a police officer nearby.

경찰

Oh, little one, are you awake? Are you feeling okay?

최승철

Is this a hospital..?

경찰

Oh, it's a hospital.

최승철

Why am I here? Where is Mom?

경찰

ah..

경찰

I'm sorry... I don't know if I should say this...

경찰

My mother...

I was deeply shocked to hear those words.

He is the person I relied on when I was going through such a hard time with my dad...

최승철

No... you're just kidding, right?

최승철

Waaaah, where is my mom? Bring my mom here! Waaaah... *sobbing*... Mom... Mom...

최승철

Mom... *sob*... *sob*...

경찰

I'm sorry, my child. We feel so sorry for you too.

최승철

Mom...

최승철

Sob... sob...

And just like that, Mom passed away in an instant... and Dad was sentenced to two years in prison...

That is how I

I stayed at the orphanage for about two weeks, then went to see my aunt.

I entered school.

But I've been bullied since first grade.

Because I don't have a mom..

Because Dad is in prison..

Because I came from Gowawon..

I was bullied at such a young age for such a trivial reason.

I was in so much pain that I ran out in the middle of class.

최승철

*Sob*... Mom... *Sob*.... I miss you, Mom.. *Sob*..

최승철

mom..

###

I came to my mother's grave, where my aunt had taken me back then.

최승철

Mom, I'm home... You missed me, didn't you? I missed you, too...

최승철

Mom, when are you coming... Please come... Mom... *sob*... Mom...

최승철

Mom, I'll listen to you now, so please come. Please, Mom...

최승철

Mom...

I probably started self-harming from that time.

###

I took a utility knife out of the corner of my aunt's house and

Shaak-

I cut my arm

최승철

Ah... it hurts...

(Tuk)

I dropped the utility knife.

최승철

It hurts... sob... ah...

As a result of drawing too hard all at once

Blood dripped down...

I was in so much pain that I shed tears.

최승철

Ugh... it hurts...

But since I was in pain, all my distracting thoughts disappeared, and I felt at ease.

Seeing the blood gave me a sense of calm.

최승철

ha..

The wound where blood dripped when I was with Seokmin

It was the first wound I ever inflicted.

I ended up self-harming every single day without fail like that, and

I was also continuously bullied.

And so... two years passed...

It flowed away..

승철이 이모

Seungcheol, Dad is getting released soon, so live with him then. I don't want to live with you anymore.

최승철

yes..?

승철이 이모

Do you know how much money I've lost because of you!!

승철이 이모

When Dad gets out of prison, go straight to your house, got it?

최승철

Y...Yes...Understood.

###

So, after my dad was released from prison, I returned home and lived with him.

승철이아빠

Hey you bastard, women are running away because of you! They think you're a married man!!!

승철이아빠

Go die, you useless bastard!!!

-Bang bang thump

최승철

Ack! Ugh..! I'm sorry..!

승철이아빠

If you keep messing around, you might end up like your mom.

최승철

yes..

Dad... no... that bastard beat me up, threatened me, and cursed at me all the time... That bad guy...

To think my life turned out like this just because I had the wrong dad...

It's awful..

Since my dad was released from prison...

Bullying at school got worse...

My wound swallowed my left arm.

###

I... became a 5th grader in no time...

최승철

(Please, 5th grade... have good teachers... and good kids...)

일진 1

Hey, aren't you Choi Seung-chul?

최승철

Huh? That's right.

일진 1

Ha, yeah, he really is that famous loser.

일진 1

The kids who bullied you for four years transferred schools, so now

일진 1

We'll take care of you.

최승철

(Oh please...)

###

일진 2

This bastard is funny. He doesn't even collapse quickly lol.

일진 1

So I guess I'll have to play with you every day now?

최승철

To me..

최승철

What's wrong...?

학생 1

What? Are you messing around?

최승철

Why on earth are you tormenting me!!

최승철

Is it because my mom isn't here...?

최승철

Because Dad went to prison and came back...?

최승철

Do you really have to make me suffer just for such a trivial reason???

최승철

Please... give it to me... please...

일진 1

Look at this guy. Do you think we'll quit just because of that?

일진 2

You idiot lol

최승철

(Ah... should I die...)

일진 1

uh

일진 1

Hey, look at this little rascal. Is this fashion self-harm?

최승철

what?

일진 2

Is this guy trying to harm himself?

일진 2

Wow, is this an arm or what...

일진 1

Hey, take a picture, I'm going to post it on Instagram lol

일진 2

Yeah, this is awesome lol

최승철

don't do it..!!

일진 1

[Slap] Shut up

일진 1

You don't even count on us.

###

최승철

*Sob*... *Sob*... Why on earth is this happening... *Sob*...

I took out a utility knife.

I was in so much pain... I... my leg...

Phew-

Stabbed..