Kim Jaehwan Fanfic | There is one constellation - _Episode 5_What is happiness?

..morning. This feeling of the day dawning again is so alien and painful.

How many years has it been since I last saw sunlight? It's been a week and two days since I came to this world.

During that time, I couldn't see or feel the sunlight, and I was so busy with my research that I couldn't even get a good night's sleep or open the curtains to greet the morning.

Only a week. A week is still far from enough to forget all those events.

김재환 (19)

" ...Good night, both of you."

As I watched Kang Eui-geon and Min-hyeon sleeping soundly next to me, I felt a new sense of emotion.

How long has it been since we gathered together like this, and what were we like back then?

All of those last images that came to mind when I saw you without even realizing it.

______

I still can't forget it.

We all walked along, joking around like always. It was just normal.

We were always playing the same drum, in the same place, in the same spot. It was so ordinary.

김재환 (19)

"Brother, brother!!! Come to your senses..."

I called and called again. I shouted and shouted again.

I tried hitting him until he came to his senses, and even used informal language to him, which I had never used before.

황민현 (20)

"Oh, it's okay... ugh"

I barely managed to catch Min-hyung, who was coughing up blood and collapsing. If I'd known this would happen, I wouldn't have come here. Because I'm here... We,

I don't think it would have been cut off like this.

______

강의건 (19)

"Why... why on earth why!"

I still remember that day when Kang Eui-geon came up to me and yelled at me like a savage.

That event that was our end and my beginning.

김재환 (19)

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... "

강의건 (19)

"Why on earth!!"

You, who is crying and yelling at me, you are losing your smile and becoming mentally exhausted.

I was wrong, Eui-geon.

______

황민현 (20)

"Huh.. what are you doing..?"

Minhyun wakes up rubbing his eyes. He could still sleep more, but did he wake up because of me?

김재환 (19)

"Should I say I'm reminiscing about my past?"

Really, seeing Minhyun like this, whom I've missed so much... I'm sad but also happy. Also, I'm afraid of losing him.

황민현 (20)

"Jaehwan, when you were 18, we all went to school together."

Minhyun, who gives me a faint smile. Right, we all went to school together. No, it was only two years ago.

김재환 (19)

"I went to the same school as Ui-geon and Jin-yeong. Gwan-rin went there too."

황민현 (20)

"I think I was the happiest when I was 19."

The beginning and the end of all of us. We were infinitely bright and infinitely happy, but

At 18, I felt like I was too caught up in time. At 17, I grew up unaware of the weight of darkness, and at 18, I was caught up in time, unable to protect my children.

Now, at 19, I've turned back the clock to protect you. At 20, I was infinitely weak, and my mind was consumed by memories of you.

I want to tell my 21-year-old self in the future: Don't die. Don't die.

김재환 (19)

"I like being 20 the best."

20 years old. Unable to forget our memories, we met again, reliving them. In my dreams, Kang Eui-geon always approached me with a look of resentment, and Dae-hwi cried and complained, saying it was hard.

황민현 (20)

"Why do you talk like you've already lived? You still have a year left."

.. Yes, it's still a year.. No one knows if this 'one year' will last or not.

김재환 (19)

"It just felt like I was having a long dream."

Dream. Yes, my past and future, lived in the pain of my 20s, are a long dream. One that can never become reality.

If you don't make it a reality, that's it. The 20-year-old me who was my past and future without you guys... It was just enough to make me suffer and lose my mind so I wouldn't die.