내 어둠 속의 빛
제14장
Your POV
I walked to the cafeteria with Bang Chan. I promised that we will talk if he behaves, and gladly he did, and Han too.
Your POV
Han told me that he will wait for his turn, and he left us alone.
Soohee
I'm just going to talk with the girls, so we can talk alone.
Bang Chan
Sure. I'll wait here, I'll grab your lunch while you find them.
Soohee
I can grab my--
Bang Chan
I got it Soohee. Go and find your friends.
Soohee
Okay.
Your POV
I already found the girls sitting and chatting, then they waved at me to come over.
Lia
Soohee! Sit with me! I need to know all the details to what happened earlier, because almost everyone is talking about it.
Yeji
Yeah. It's sad that I didn't saw it!
Ryujin
I already told you two what happened didn't I?
Lia
Well I want to hear it from Soohee.
Soohee
Umm. I won't be able to have lunch with you girls today. I promised Bang Chan that we'll talk alone. He's waiting for me there..
Lia
... You're kidding right?
Yeji
No she isn't. I see Bang Chan right there.
Ryujin
Soohee, are you sure?
Soohee
Yeah. We'll just talk, because he won't stop even if I ignore him.
Ryujin
Okay. Promise you'll be okay?
Soohee
Don't worry, I will.
Lia
If I see your eyes red from crying, I'll kill Bang Chan once and for all.
Yeji
Count me in!
Ryujin
You two are so brutal. Well for me, I think they'll just have a normal conversation.
Soohee
I'm gonna go now. I can't keep him waiting.
Lia
Leave if he's being annoying.
Ryujin
Bye Soohee!
Yeji
We got your back.
Soohee
Thanks guys...
Your POV
Bang Chan and I went to the fields, because only a few people come here during lunch.
Your POV
We started to eat. I keep catching him stealing glances at me, and he's awfully quiet.
Soohee
We can talk now while we're eating you know.
Bang Chan
Oh. I know. I just don't know where to start.
Soohee
It's still early. We have the whole lunch period.
Bang Chan
Can I ask about Han first?
Soohee
What about him?
Bang Chan
Is he trying to get together with you?
Soohee
Why do you think so?
Bang Chan
Come on Soohee, don't act like you don't know that he likes you.
Soohee
Ugh. I thought we're going to talk about us?
Bang Chan
Do you like him?
Soohee
He's kind. He's also thoughtful and too caring around me.
Bang Chan
So do you like him or not?
Your POV
I really can't answer his question. Although I am starting to appreciate Han, but I don't know if I like him in a romantic way.
Soohee
I don't know. I like his personality, even though he's annoying sometimes.
Bang Chan
You know I'm jealous when you're around him right?
Your POV
Is he seriously telling me that he still have feelings towards me?
Bang Chan
Nothing's changed to the way I feel about you Soohee. I realized that when I saw you again.
Soohee
That's rubbish.
Bang Chan
I'm really sorry Soohee. We we're too young before. Now I realize how wrong I was to push you away.
Soohee
Don't you think you're too late? I already thought that you're fine without me. You probably had another girlfriend in Australia.
Bang Chan
I didn't. Did you think I can replace you that easily?
Soohee
Well, you didn't talked to me again after you left Korea. So I thought you moved on so easily...
Your POV
My voice cracked up, and I was about to cry, because all of our memories in the past flooded my mind. Both good and bad.
Bang Chan
Soohee. I wasn't able to contact you because you blocked me everywhere. I tried to talk with your parents, but they don't reply, even your
Bang Chan
brother. Especially your friends because they blocked me as well. You were only close to your family and friends, so I don't know who to
Bang Chan
contact anymore. I got frustrated so I stopped.
Your POV
I didn't know that he tried to contact me.
Soohee
And what were you going to say if you did ever had a chance to talk to me before?
Bang Chan
I'll tell you to wait because I'll come back. I'll apologize for leaving our conversation like that, and didn't give you a proper goodbye.
Soohee
You said you wouldn't come back Bang Chan!
Bang Chan
I was angry when I said that! I was angry because it's like you can't go on with your life without me! You're stronger than that Soohee!
Your POV
What's wrong with showing you how much I loved you?! I wanted reassurance that we'll be okay!
Bang Chan
Why do you say "loved"?
Soohee
Past tense. I care about you Chan, I do, but I don't think I love you the way I did before.
Bang Chan
You don't...you don't know that Soohee.
Your POV
His voice was shaky, and he clenches his jaw to stop himself from tearing up.
Soohee
I may not be sure about a lot of things, but I'm sure about what I've just said Bang Chan.
Bang Chan
Soohee...please...
Your POV
He held both of my hands, and he put it in his lips. Then a tear slid down his cheek.
Your POV
I did not expect that he would cry. I've forgotten how it hurts to see him cry. When he lost his dog, when I got into an accident, and the
Your POV
last time is when we were both arguing. It was not a proper goodbye. Then I started tearing up as well..
Soohee
Bang Chan...I moved on.
Bang Chan
Is it because of Han?
Soohee
Can you stop involving Han with this?! It's not because of a guy! I moved on because I thought you were done with me.
Bang Chan
You give up too easily.
Soohee
And so do you. You could've asked your friends to talk to me!
Bang Chan
So let's fix this! We're more mature now! If you don't...love me like before, I can fix that. Just let me.
Your POV
I stood up, wiping my tears away, and he stoop up as well, grabbing my hand.
Bang Chan
You can't leave me hanging again Soohee. You know I still love you, isn't that enough for --
Your POV
I held his face and kissed his cheek, so he could just stop talking, and apparently he did. I used to love kissing him, but then I realized
Your POV
there were no butterflies anymore. The spark is truly gone.
Your POV
Then he suddenly hugged me and burried his face in my hair.
Bang Chan
You still care...and I know you still love me. It's just burried so deep inside you, and I'll help you dig it out.
Soohee
Bang Chan..if I still love you, I won't burry it. I'm sorry. Let's just...move on with our lives. We can still be friends if you want..
Bang Chan
You know that's not enough for me Soohee...I miss you.
Your POV
I tried to move away but he still holds on to my waist so tight.
Soohee
Bang Chan, we can't. We can't go back.
Bang Chan
I need a chance Soohee. Let me have one.
Soohee
Let me go plea--
Bang Chan
Remember that we used to fool around a lot? Sneaking into empty rooms...making out... undressing--
Soohee
Don't bring that up Bang Chan! Stop it right now!
Your POV
I can't believe he's bringing this up! Yes we fooled around a lot because we're too obsessed with each other before. I should stop this now.
Bang Chan
You missed me Soohee, let's fool around again and you'll change your mind, let's find some place private...I want to feel--
Soohee
STOP IT! LET ME GO!
Your POV
I pushed his chest away as hard as I can, but after grabbing my bag, he held my waist again and crashed his lips on mine...
Your POV
Frozen in place, I didn't know what to do. I quickly scanned the surroundings, hoping there's no one insight...but I saw one...
Your POV
Han was standing there, clenching his fists and then started walking towards me and Bang Chan...