Gavin's POV
The day when Rainne saw me with Lorrie is the day that I have been waiting for. I know that this will be the perfect reason for her to get mad at me. I don't need to feel sorry towards her emotion, not now and not even for the following years that she is still in love with me.
"That's Rainne clothes, you can borrow that and make sure to return it to her." I told Lorrie
"Why not just tell her the truth? You know I like you but....."
"Just do what I say... and I promise you, I will only go out with you aside from Rainne and it's only because I needed to."
"Then what if I fall for you? Are you going to do the same to me just like what you are doing to Rainne?"
"It's for me to decide... go change we still have class."
This may sound ridiculous but I am just protecting her from getting hurt and I need to protect myself too. And for me to do that, I need to hurt her.
I think Axel is the best way to divert her feelings for me but seeing her smile with him makes me mad too. I do care for her because she used to be my friend and I know that there is something wrong with Axel.
Why does he look so perfect for Rainne that gives me odd feelings of what he is up to. As I searched for him, there is nothing interesting about his life aside from he is the only son of famous writer and journalist Bianca Mendez, the one that Aunt Jen mentioned and his father is a business tycoon Alejandro Mendez. There is this one girl named Ashton Nijer who was tagged in his name as his long time girlfriend but broke up last year because of unknown reasons.
I keep on digging about who he is but there's nothing aside from the obvious one. I know there is something going on and I am going to find it.
It's her birthday tomorrow and my dad already bought a gift for her since according to him I don't have any plans of getting any.
Friday
I was back and forth in sending my birthday message to her early this morning and now that her birthday is a few hours away to be done.
"Hey......happy...." Erase..
"Happy Birthday...." Erase
"I hope you had a blast...." Erase
Damn it! And to my surprise she's about to enter the elevator and she's handling a bouquet of roses.
"Rainne?" It make her stop from entering the elevator and look at me
"Gavin?" I walks straight to her and handed her a small box
"Happy Birthday" I say
"You remembered?"
I nod trying to keep myself from smiling "Let's have dinner? At my place?"
"Really?"
"Yah.. Just this once since it's your birthday."
She smiled at me and clasped her arm to mine. We both entered the elevator and went to my place.
And with that, I forgot everything about my plan of disregarding her birthday.
I ordered some pizza and chicken. We ate together but none of us was talking, until she asked something that ruined everything.
"Gav?"
I looked at her while I was still drinking my beer.
"Why do you hate me so much?"
I don't hate you! I want to voice it out but I can't.
"Because you're weak and a spoiled rich girl who used her condition to get everything in life."
Her tears fell down and I want to wipe it out but then again I can't.
"That's what you think I am?"
"Why? Are you sad and hurt hearing the truth?"
"I thought you knew me better. Gavin...you know that I love you."
I throw the can of beer before combing my hair with my own hand. That's the reason why you are hurting right now, because of that love.
"Bullshit. That stupid love of yours is the reason why I hate you the most, you are so selfish. I did not do anything for you to love me."
She is having a hard time breathing and her eyes are pulled of tears.
"Stop crying and stop getting hurt because of me." I shout at her. Stop loving me, Rainne. Stop caring for me because I don't want to hurt you anymore. Those words I want to say but I can't.
"Then stop hurting my feelings... stop pretending that you don't care." She tried to hold my face but I pushed her hands.
"Stop loving me, so you wouldn't get hurt anymore. I don't love you and I don't even care for you."
"Liar... I know you are lying. You're not going to agree with our engagement if you don't love me."
"Wrong conclusion. Stop it Rainne, I don't want to hurt you anymore."
"Then tell me why? Why did you agree? Why?"
I am biting my lower lip, meaning I am afraid of something and that something is...... is you.
"I said why?"
"Just leave.... I will call Kaiden."
She stood up and grabbed her bag "Let's call off the engagement, suit yourself to tell our parents why."
"Rainne wait." I grab her arm and say, "I'll call Kaiden, wait for him."
"Stop pretending that you care... I'll go now and please don't follow."
She pushes my hand and walks outside, I can hear her sobs while she is walking towards the door but I couldn't even follow her.
This will be the end of this, now that she already decided. All I need to do is tell our parents that we cannot push our wedding. I know that my Dad will surely beat me to death and Henderson's will be very disappointed in me but who cares? It is the right chance for her to escape this pitiful life with me.
I decided to go home tonight in our home in Fargo where I am sure no one is there since Eleona is staying in our house in Forks and Dad will be in Bismarck to attend some stuff in the hospital.
It takes 1 hour to reach our home there, so it gives me time to think and refresh my mind from all the things that happened tonight. I even texted Kaiden to check on Rainne and maybe she is now with Axel. Thinking about what she really is with Axel gives me a headache but I need to endure it all because this is what I want.
"You should have told me hijo that you'll be home tonight, I should have prepared your favorite dishes." Our Nanny Lisa told me while we're still in a hugging position. I slightly pulled myself away from our hug and smiled at her.
"I already had my dinner. Did El visit you?"
"No.. but she keeps on calling. She prefers to stay in Forks since it's closer to the University than here."
"I see. Nanny, I'm a bit tired. Can you bring some beer to my room? I really need it tonight."
"Sure.... Go ahead now, I'll bring your drinks there."
As soon as I reached my room, I headed straight to the bathroom to take some shower. When I was done, I saw the 5 cans of beer on my mini table. Nanny really knows how much beer I need to get a good sleep. She knows that everytime I go home, there is something that happens that involves Rainne and she knows that I need some time alone.
She's the only person who knows the reason why I cannot be with Rainne and why I am holding myself from her.
I got the box that I gave her a while ago as a gift, she left it at my place and I am happy she didn't open it.
I open the box and it reveals the necklace with the locket pendant of our picture when we were in our grade 6. I always wanted to give her this but I don't know when is the right time for me to give it. It was supposed to be tonight but then again I ruined her birthday as always.
She told me before that she always wants to keep our memories and she always wants to feel me close to her. That is the reason why I asked Mr. Winston via email if he could design a personalized necklace with a locket pendant of my picture and Rainnes's picture on it. And since he is a good friend of my Mom he sent it to me when I was 15, he even said sorry because it's 3 year late. That necklace was supposed to be my gift to her 12th birthday but that moment didn't happen.
Since that year, I started to put walls between the two of us. I started to act strange in front of her, act like she is nothing to me, and tell myself that I am not allowed to love her. Every single birthday of her is a nightmare because when it's just the two of us, I always made her realize that she is not important to me anymore. All the birthday presents that she receives from me was actually bought by my Dad.
Things got worse when she was sent in and out of the hospital. That's when my Dad comes up with the evil plan of using Rainne's feelings for me to get what he wants and I was aware of his plans. My Dad is the only person that Henderson's trust with their daughter's condition and he used that since he knows that Rainne is my weakness too. Seeing her suffers from her illness gives me determination to stop caring for her. I need to make it stop no matter what, and with that I promised to myself that I will not love her and I need to make her stop loving me too. That's the only way for me to protect her from my Dad's evil plan.
Saturday (Rainnes's Birthday Party)
My head feels like breaking into pieces because of my hangover. I didn't even notice that it's already 1 in the afternoon. I checked my phone and as expected all the calls and messages are from Dad and Eleona. I switched off my phone wanting not to be distracted by anyone and headed to the bathroom to get some good shower.
I make myself busy doing some different stuff, and Nanny didn't even try to bother me since she knows that I need to be alone for a moment.
I played football on my own in the park near our house. There are some children playing with their friends, some couples who're dating under the tree while eating ice cream and some families who are having their picnic along the river side.
This is why I like to be alone most of the time, I have been able to witness the happiness of others and this place reminds me of Mom. She always knew that if I am missing, I am just here playing with random kids especially if Dad nags me or beats me, she knows that I'll just run here.
I am laying on the ground watching the clouds move in the sky when I hear someone say the time and that's when I realize that I already spent too much here and I know Nanny will be uncomfortable waiting for me.
I decided to go home and when I was near our house, I saw a very familiar car.
Who am I to fool that he will not think that I am here. I walked inside and there I saw Eleona sitting right next to Nanny while Dad was in the long sofa bed drinking his whisky.
"Are you done fooling around?"
"I am not coming with you."
I saw how he clenched his jaw and how he hardened the grip in his glass of whisky trying not to throw it in front of El.
"Gavin... let's go. Okay? Just come with us, please?" El comes near me and looks into my eyes, I can see how scared she is right now.
I hold her shoulder and make her look at me even more "Let's end it here." I whisper to her before looking again at Dad. "She already called off the engagement last night, you cannot do anything now to control me."
He laughs at me as if mocking me for what I said before pulling Eleona away from me. "Go inside your room and never come out until I say so." He looks at Nanny to help El.
I nod at El giving her an assurance that everything will be okay and when she's not in our sight anymore, Dad gives me a hard punch on my stomach, it makes me crumble on the floor but I am not going to give up. I endure all his punches and kicks until he lower himself at me and face me before grabbing my shirt.
"I don't want to say this but I think I don't have any choice left. I can easily make her heart stop and you know that." He smirks at me and sends me goosebumps all over my body. I can feel my own tears from falling.
He slaps my face gently before wiping my tears and laughs.
"I left the gift in your room and the tuxedo that you are going to wear. You still have time, make sure to be there before 8." He stood up and went outside.
That's when his driver gets in and knocks on El's room. Eleona came out with her reddish eyes because of crying.
She runs into me and hugs me tight. "Just do what he wants you to do, Gavin. Please, I don't want you to get hurt again." I pull her away and kiss her forehead.
"Go... Dad is waiting for you outside."
I left her there and walked inside my room, where I saw the bag of customized violin that I guess will be my gift for her.
I laugh while my tears keep falling from my eyes. I scream my voice out and throw the violin on the wall, I even throw all the things that my hand is able to reach and punch the wall hard that leads my fist to shred some blood.
625 Belmont Rd, New Dakota 58201, Henderson's Mansion Residence
I went there with my heart full of desire to protect her no matter what. But how can I do that again if she hates me now? I am more than confused right now, I want to protect her from Dad and to do that I need to be with her. How can he do this to me? He knows that Rainne is important to me that is why he is using her for me to follow all the things that he wants me to do.
I see familiar faces in the crowd, our previous classmates from Junior year and senior year, family friends and more. I don't know how to face her that's why I call Eleona and ask her to help me out. She's glad I came, she first accompanied me to Dad's table where Aunt Jen and Uncle Jin are with him. I gave my greetings and they told me that Rainne is inside her room, readying for the opening. I suited myself and went there to check if she's okay.
I saw her with her sky blue long dress and her hair was put into big curls at the end of it.
I knock but my face is already visible, I saw how surprised she is seeing me there.
"May I?"
"Please leave us first." She asked her support team and they went out of the room.
I took a deep breath before walking closer to where she is sitting.
I put the box that I gave her yesterday on the table beside her. "You left that yesterday."
"I know. Tell your Dad, thank you but he doesn't need to put some effort in buying gifts for me on your behalf." She picks it and tries to hand it back to me but I push her hand.
"Check it first and decide if it's from Dad or me."
She looks at me before opening the box and it shows the necklace that I really wanted to give her from that day that I got it. She caresses the locket before opening it and there she cries when she sees what's inside.
"Happy Birthday, Rainne." She keeps on crying while looking at the picture inside the locket.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why are you pretending that you don't care but here you are giving me these memories of us?"
"I know I already did lots of wrongdoing to you but please Rainne trust with this."
"What do you mean?"
"Hate me, stop caring for me and stop loving me."
"What? What are you saying?"
"Don't tell our parents that you already call off our engagement and please do what I say, stop loving me."
"Gavin, I don't understand... Okay fine, you don't love me then why do I need to stop loving you? You know I cannot do that."
"That's the point... As long as you love me, I cannot take care of you."
Her expression is full of curiosity and questions.
"Rainne, I can only protect you if you will stop loving me and stop caring for me. I am begging you, please do what I say." I am now biting my lower lip again and there she touches it.
"You are afraid... You are afraid of what?"
There my tears fell because I couldn't take it anymore. She wipes my tears and looks at my eyes waiting for my answer.
"What if I fall in love with someone else, are you okay with that?"
Am I really okay with that? I look at her and nod as my response.
"I am going to protect you no matter what, just please stop loving me."
She moves away and smiles at me before wiping her own tears.
"I need to stop loving you, so we can go back to when we used to be." She nods while trying not to cry again "Okay, I will still be your fiance' in front of our parents but I need to stop loving you."
I nod "And if you finally find someone and you think that he's the one, tell your parents that you don't love me anymore. Be a strong woman who can break someone's heart. Break me into pieces by loving someone else. "
"Whatever is your reason, I will not accept you again if one day I meet someone who is better than you. I will love him more than I ever love you and cares for you. And if that day comes that I don't love you anymore,I will make you regret this day that you ask me to stop loving you."
I look at her and it's so obvious that she is in pain right now just like I do.
Please do it, make me regret this day, the words I want to tell but I cannot. Instead, I held her hand and smiled at her.
"I'll call your support and wait outside. Let's start our show tonight."
This is the best for the both of us and I will not let Dad use her again over me.
We started the show when her name was called by the MC and I escorted her outside to meet all her guests.
Everyone is looking at us, with their minds speaking that we are a perfect couple.

Our parents are so happy to see us together looking so in love. I look at Dad and he's the one who's celebrating among all of us here. He even gives me a hug and gives Rainne a kiss on her cheek before greeting her a happy birthday.
What an asshole, just a while ago you are threatening me that you can easily make her heart stop and now you are celebrating her birthday.
"My son is so lucky to have a beautiful, smart and kind fiance' like you." She compliments Rainne that I really hate the most.
"We know but our princess here is lucky too to have your son by his side."
He laughs and they all laugh "Really? Well.. Gavin is really a good and obedient son."
"If you'll excuse us, Rainne wanted to see her other guest." I interrupt them because what they are saying is bullshit.
I just stay by Rainne's side wherever she goes as part of my plan.
"Oh...so the great fiance is here." Kaiden smiles at me.
"And the great best friends are here too. " I smiled back at him and looked at Axel. "It's nice to see you again."
"I do feel differently." Then he smiles at Rainne.
"Axel.. can I have a word with you?" I walk far from the crowd and thankfully he follows.
"What do you want this time?"
"I still don't trust you but I need your help." He is the only person who can help me with this.
"You need my help? Gavin Mowry needs my help." He is trying to mock me but I don't care about that now.
I smiled at him "I entrusted her to you. Do whatever it takes to make her love you."
"What?"
"You heard me right, make her fall for you."
He laughs sarcastically and that gives me chills, some odd feeling that I always felt towards him.
"I know you like her, it's just that I feel that there is something more that you are hiding."
"And what if I am?"
"Then I will get her back no matter what."
He looks at me intensely before taking a deep breath. "She loves you and I know that you are aware of that. I am sure too that you feel the same way, so what is this that you want her to love me?"
"I cannot love her and she cannot love me too. Even if I feel the same, she cannot continue loving me."
"I don't want to be an accomplice in your plan but you're correct when you say that I like her and I am not going to make her fall for me because you ask me. I will make it happen because he doesn't deserve a man like you."
Then he walks back to their table and I was left there thinking if asking for his help is a good idea at all.
As soon as I already calm myself, I also headed in where Rainne is. She is smiling but deep inside her is a broken girl.
The girl that I love but I cannot love.
