"Hey, have you seen the third-year senior who transferred in?
He's seriously so handsome. He looks totally like your type."
"...I saw him. He's not that handsome."
"What's up with that? Everyone's going crazy to see him, and thanks to him, the girls from class 3-6 are swarming. I haven’t seen a good-looking guy like him in a while. I bet people will line up to confess to him tomorrow."
No way the girls could not have noticed that stunning face. Not just the third-years, but rumors about Kim Taehyung spread through our grade, and during every break, second-year girls rushed upstairs just to see him.
"Let's go eat."
"...? Why with me?"
"You're my only friend."
"I have plenty of others."
"Holy crap! Kim Yeojoo, are you close with Taehyung sunbae? Really?
Wow! Sunbae, would you like to have lunch with us?"
For Kim Taehyung to personally come down to the second-year floor and invite me to lunch, it was definitely a hot topic.
"Hey, don't come to our class."
"Why?"
"People will start talking. They'll say we're dating."
"So what? It’ll be nice if the girls stop bothering me."
"What?"
"I hate it when the girls are all noisy and following me around. It's not just one or two of them, it's annoying. If the rumors spread, they’ll stop, and that's good for me."
"I don't like it."
"Why? I’ll buy you jjajangmyeon."
"Am I a kid, agreeing to things over jjajangmyeon?"
"That's strange. Back in the day, jjajangmyeon was enough to make everything okay."
"...That’s from years ago. And if those girls are annoying, then I’ll be annoyed too. I talk a lot. It won’t just be chatter, you might lose your hearing from me talking so much."
"Hahahaha, really?
I actually like it when you talk. I wouldn’t mind losing my hearing for you."
"Stop exaggerating... why are you laughing over this?"
"Anyway, if anyone asks if we're dating tomorrow, don't deny it. Just shake your head a little."
"Then buy me jjajangmyeon. And some sweet and sour pork."
"Pfft, look at you. Still, everything's okay with jjajangmyeon."
Five years later, it's still the same. I’ll do anything Kim Taehyung says. He’s so confident that he knows everything about me, but there are two things he’ll never know. One of them is this. I’m not agreeing because I like jjajangmyeon, but because I like him. If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t care about jjajangmyeon. But because it’s Kim Taehyung, I’d do anything for him. I swore I wouldn't fall for it this time, but there was no stopping me. Every time I saw his face, I couldn’t help but nod without thinking.
"Yeojoo, are you dating Kim Taehyung sunbae? For real?"
"..."
I wanted to immediately deny it. I felt a headache just thinking about the trouble the rumors would cause once everyone knew. It had been similar in elementary school; the juniors, seniors, and friends were all in chaos. If kids that young could be so noisy, imagine what high schoolers would do. I almost screamed that it wasn’t true, but I forced myself to hold back and remember what Kim Taehyung had said.
Beep-
"...Who’s texting?"
"...Kim Taehyung."
"What’s he saying?"
"He asked me to watch a movie together."
"???????"
"What? Why?"
"Don’t you like him?"
"What are you talking about? He’s full of himself, he doesn’t like anyone."
"Then why would he ask you to watch a movie? Taehyung has so many friends, and other girls are probably lining up to watch with him."
"He probably thinks I’m comfortable to be around."
"Hey, guys don’t spend money or time on girls they’re not interested in."
It hit me then. Kim Taehyung had always spent his money and time on me. I never noticed it because it was so natural, but looking at it from the perspective of a romantic relationship, it wasn’t just a friendly connection. Could it be that he actually started liking me?
"Did you arrive?"
"What movie are we watching?"
"Oh, it's a free ticket a junior gave me, and it expires today, so I don’t want to waste it."
"...Oh, a free ticket."
"Yeah, but lately, there’s nothing good to watch. Do you have a movie you want to see?"
"Anything. I’m fine with whatever."
"By the way, the actor you liked in elementary school has a movie out. Do you want to see it?"
"I liked an actor in elementary school? There were so many celebrities I liked."
"Kim Seokjin. Isn’t that right?"
"Oh, right. I really liked Kim Seokjin back then. How do you remember that?"
"I remember how much you went crazy over him. I’ve never forgotten a single moment I’ve spent with you."
"...What are you saying all of a sudden? This is so cheesy."
"So..."
"?"
"Don’t hate me."
"What? Out of nowhere..."
"Please like me."
"...What? Are you joking? Why would I hate you?"
"You don’t hate me?"
"Of course not! If I hated you, why would I watch a movie with you?"
"Then why did you always talk bad about me and push me away?"
"..."
For a moment, I almost said, "Because I like you." His actions were making me hope, and I got frustrated, so I acted out. It wasn’t because I hated him; it was because I liked him so much. His beautiful eyes and voice almost made me spill everything.
"It was just a joke. I’ve never hated you. Don’t you remember me saying this in elementary school?"
"I thought you said that to prevent me from getting hurt..."
"Anyway, I don’t hate you. I’m serious. Is that enough?"
"Yeah, it’s enough. Let’s go watch the movie."
I don’t understand why I smiled so brightly at his reassurance. He already knows that I like him. So why does he keep pretending not to know? I just... don’t get Kim Taehyung.
"Wow, Kim Seokjin’s face is amazing."
"What about mine?"
"Totally ignored."
"Tch, hahaha, you’ll never hear me say you’re handsome. I’ve told you plenty of times that you’re pretty."
"Well, I’m not handsome."
"I know, kid."
Beep- Beep-
"It’s Yoongi hyung. I need to take this call."
"Okay."
"Hello? Hyung!"
"I got drunk and passed out yesterday. Just woke up. Why did you call?"
"Oh, I got a free movie ticket. I was thinking of inviting you to watch it together. I remembered you wanted to see that movie."
"Haha, you remember that? Funny guy. So did you watch the movie? Please tell me you didn’t go alone."
"No, I watched it with Yeojoo. I’d rather not go alone."
"Sounds like a date. Good thing I didn’t pick up the phone."
"It’s not like that, hahaha. Anyway, I’ll hang up now, hyung."
"Alright, take care. Call me later."
Kim Taehyung, who was right next to me, naturally overheard the entire conversation. He’d asked someone else before asking me. I had assumed he would ask me first, and I found it funny. I had been wishing, more desperately than ever, for Kim Taehyung to see me as a woman, to have feelings for me. And I was pretending like it wasn’t true. It was the most foolish thing, and I kept doing it.
"You asked Yoongi oppa first."
"Yeah, he said he wanted to watch X-Vengers last time, so I remembered."
Kim Taehyung is just good at remembering things. Whether he likes someone or not, he has a way of making people like him. He’s always been thoughtful, ever since we were young. That’s why, what he did today—what I spent all day overthinking—was just part of his daily life. For him, it was nothing special. I had forgotten what he was like, after not seeing him for five years. I had forgotten why, even though I was exhausted, I couldn’t give up on him. Today, I realized all of it.
"You’re like a drug."
"? Out of nowhere? Is that a compliment?"
"It's a bad thing, but I like it."
"I know. I’ll trust that you don’t hate me. But don’t be weird and try to butter me up. It’s awkward."
"It’s real."
Once again, I fell for that dangerous drug.