About a week had passed since I first met them. I was living in the practice room as if it were a given, and not a single member paid any attention to me.
I washed up in the shower, toweled my hair dry, opened the door, and went out. Then I saw the members.
“...”
“...”
My eyes met with the members', and the noisy crowd that had been there moments before suddenly became quiet and glared at me fiercely. Still, I could bear it.
"let's go."
The once quiet hallway was filled with the sound of footsteps and voices at Kim Nam-joon's single word.
“...”
As all the members except Kim Namjoon were walking to the practice room, Kim Namjoon glanced at me and followed the members.
Today again, there was no one to take care of me.
.
.
.
I ran like crazy to my personal practice room, threw down my towel, and headed to the practice room.
As I quietly opened the door and went in, what greeted me was a suffocating atmosphere with people glaring at me.
“Let’s get started.”
After saying that, the members just danced for hours.
“Hey, you lady!!”
‘You are such a liar...’
Mr. Jeong Ho-seok called my name angrily. Then, I automatically looked down and clasped my hands together. Even then, the song continued to play, as if trying to pacify me.
“What kind of debut is that if you debut like that?”
“Ah... Really...”
“If you came in late, you should at least work hard.”
The other members' words, which could have been drowned out by Jung Ho-seok's shouting, came into my ears, each and every word distinct and unmistakable. The more this situation repeated, the more my self-esteem plummeted, and proportionally, my head bowed even more.
"sorry..."
All I could say here was, "I'm sorry." It was almost like a habit.
“Huh? Sorry? Sorry~? If you’re sorry, then don’t be wrong.”
Jeong Ho-seok got angry and sarcastically repeated what I said, and I just trembled like an idiot and apologized.
“Ah~ Really~ Who would be able to debut for me?”
“If I don’t debut, who will be to blame?”
“Oh, because of someone, our debut was delayed by about two months..”
“I can’t help it, hyung~”
They looked at me and said, "If one person starts cursing at me, everyone else will start cursing at me too."
“Please do it right.”
"yes.."
The song started playing again and I came to my senses more clearly than before.
.
.
.
After the song ended, I was relieved that nothing was wrong. But...
“Oh really...”
“If you’re going to hurt the team by doing things like that, wouldn’t it be better to just leave the team?”
“Please, do it right.”
As expected of members who dislike me, they started to nag me as if they didn't like it even if I spread my legs slightly less or raised or lowered my hand slightly.
It was unfair. I can't help but feel that it was unfair.
“It hasn’t even been a few dozen minutes since I told you to do it right.”
Mr. Jeong Ho-seok said.
"sorry.."
Although I couldn't say that it was unfair, I apologized again and again.
“Guys! It’s lunch time!!”
Suddenly, the manager opened the practice room door and came in. The members who had been swearing at me instantly became quiet.
“What’s going on? Why is the atmosphere like this?”
It was the manager who seemed to have a bit of a knack for it.
“Hey~ What are you talking about~”
“Aren’t you being sensitive?”
“Are you tired these days, hyung?”
The members all started to act silly. Then the manager said that he must have misunderstood.
“Eat more than that!”
The manager spoke, holding the envelope in his hand. Then, all the members ran to him, received their lunch boxes, and sat down. I was the last to receive my lunch box. I stood there quietly, intending to eat in the break room or my personal practice room once the manager left.
“Huh? Why are you standing there holding your lunch box? Aren’t you eating?”
My manager came to talk to me because he thought I was strangely standing still. I didn't know what to do and could only watch the members and my manager's expressions.
“Come quickly and sit down.”
“Why? I don’t have an appetite today??”
Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok pretended to take care of me.
“Sit here, lady!”
Meanwhile, Jeon Jung-kook tapped the seat next to him with his hand.
“What are you talking about! The heroine is going to sit next to me?”
This time, Kim Taehyung pointed to the seat next to him with his finger.
“You’re next to me!”
"no!"
“Everyone, stop fighting!! Yeoju is going to sit next to me, right? Come to work, Yeoju!”
As Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook pretended to fight, Park Jimin intervened. Then he patted the seat next to him with his palm.
“We’ve become much closer~ Enjoy your meal!”
The manager opened the practice room door and walked out, oblivious to their pretentious behavior.
“If you have any sense, why don’t you go eat somewhere else instead of here?”
“I was worried that you would actually sit down when I asked you to come and eat next to me~”
"me too"
As expected, the members changed in an instant when their manager left. Their hypocritical behavior was just the thing to make my stomach churn.
As I was about to leave the practice room with my lunchbox, the door opened and a woman came in.
“Oh! Long time no see!”
“Hello~”
"Are you busy these days? Why is it so hard to see your face?"
“Hi hi~”
As the woman entered, the members all welcomed her. Then, the woman smiled brightly at the members and said, "Hello~ Long time no see~"
“....”
As I was about to leave the practice room without saying anything, she spoke to me in a voice that only I could hear.
“It’s been a while, you too.”
She sat among the members as if she were a natural. I quickly left the practice room, worried the members might say something if I didn't leave quickly.
.
.
.
I was really ashamed of myself for thinking that the only place I would go was the bathroom.
After a long time of debating whether or not to throw away the food, I finally poured the food out of my lunchbox into the trash can with trembling hands.
“Should I leave my agency..”
“Oh my~ Where are you going, Yeoju?”
I was startled for a moment and looked back with a feeling of doubt.
“Stomach... stomach... stomach...”
She was the one who came into the practice room and I could only say her last name.
“Are you upset? You even forgot my name?”
She said, lifting my chin with her index finger.
“Let go of this. Bae Suzy.”
I said her name as I struck her wrist with my trembling hand as confidently as I could.
“Ah… Our heroine has grown so much~ She even rebels. She used to tremble at the sight of me. Oh! She’s still trembling now!”
Bae Suzy said, touching her own wrist with her other hand.
"But... how did our female protagonist end up debuting with BTS? Bang Si-hyuk was that jerk who said no to me no matter how much I begged him."
There was silence for a moment. It was none other than me who broke the silence.
“So what are you trying to say?”
With your fist clenched and your hand tightly tightened.
“What are you trying to say? Um... did you sell your body to Bang Si-hyuk? How could you debut with BTS without selling your body? Bang Si-hyuk loved me so much and gave me everything I wanted, but didn’t you say I couldn’t debut because you sold your body? Did you cancel your debut in the past because you sold your body to Bang Si-hyuk?”
"what!?"
Bae Suzy's nonsense made me angry.
“Oh, sorry~ Did you want to keep this a secret?”
Bae Suzy said this as if she was teasing me, as if she was laughing at me.
“Hey. It’s your fault that my debut was canceled.”
I glared at Bae Su-ji as if I was going to kill her at any moment.
“Oh my~ That’s scary~ Where did you learn to look like that!!”
Bae Suzy raised her right hand high and tried to slap my cheek, but then stopped.
“Looking forward to what’s to come~ Is this a match?”
Bae Su-ji grabbed my head before I could even do anything and threw away the food I had just eaten and put it in the water jug that hadn't been flushed.
“Puhahahahaha!!”
Bae Suzy laughed hysterically, putting my head in and out of the barrel a couple of times. Then she lifted my head and made me look at her.
“You stink… Go wash up and go. Ah~ Mom and Dad aren’t here, so you can’t wash up, right? Then take care~ If you stay up too late, my brothers will worry about me~”
Bae Suzy patted my shoulder a couple of times before leaving the bathroom. I tried to stand, but my legs gave out and I collapsed to the ground.
“...”
Tears flowed frantically from my eyes. As I was weeping quietly, my body covered in bruises, the bathroom door opened and someone came in.
“Ah, where did Bae Suzy go!”
“Oh seriously, next month is the comeback, but I have no intention of practicing!!”
It was a familiar voice.
“Oh, I don’t know, he suddenly joined the debut group and started a fight with the female lead!!”
The person who had spoken just a moment ago walked over to where I was and turned his head to look at me.
“Gyaaak!!”
The woman screamed. The other members, shocked by her screams, walked over to where I was, and for a while, they remained silent.
“Oh..my lady...”
The person who spoke to me was Kim Eun-joo, who had entered the program as a trainee in the same year as me and was also about to debut with me. Next to her were Yoon-ha and Shin Yeon-hee.
****
Just cut it off ambiguously...