For several days.
Kim Dohoon was the same as always.
No.
He was even more careful than usual.
"This."
As soon as I walked into the club room, there was a can of canned coffee on top of my seat.
The brand I always drink.
"Huh?"
The upperclassman beside me smiled.
"Dohoon bought it a little while ago."
"..."
"He said you’d be late."
I wordlessly picked up the can.
Cold.
It had just been bought.
'Why are you pretending nothing's wrong.'
A few days earlier.
The conversation we’d had while looking at the camera, as if it had never happened.
Dohoon had gone back to keeping a proper distance again.
It was frustrating for no reason.
-
After the photo outing ended.
One by one, the members left first.
I deliberately packed up my things slowly.
"Aren’t you going?"
Dohoon asked from behind me.
"...Want to go together?"
The moment I said it.
Dohoon’s expression changed just a little.
"...Sure."
-
The two of them walked side by side to the bus stop.
It was a familiar silence.
Even before.
The two of them hadn’t been the kind to talk much.
They just walked together.
There had been a time when that alone was enough.
"Dohoon."
"...Yeah."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah."
"Why didn’t you say it back then?"
"...Say what."
"That you studied because you wanted to get into the same university, the same department."
Dohoon didn’t answer for a long time.
Under the streetlight, he smiled slowly.
"...Because I thought it would feel like pressure if I said it."
"..."
"And."
He took a breath for a moment.
"I was afraid you’d hate me."
"..."
"If I said the reason I studied was you."
"..."
"I thought it might make you feel pressured."
Yeoju couldn’t say anything.
All this time.
The one who had felt pressured.
had actually been her.
"Me too."
Yeoju said.
"...Sorry."
Dohoon turned his head.
"That day."
"..."
"The teacher said maybe I should go into the liberal arts track."
"..."
"For a moment."
"..."
"It felt like everyone was saying I couldn’t beat you."
A quiet night.
A bus passed by.
"So."
"..."
"I got mad at you."
"..."
"And the camera too."
His voice trembled.
"...Sorry."
Dohoon said nothing for a long while.
Then he gave a very small laugh.
"...You’re telling me that now."
"..."
"I really didn’t know the reason."
"..."
"I thought I’d done something wrong."
"..."
"I kept thinking about it."
Why.
Why Kim Yeoju came to hate him.
For the first time, Yeoju.
looked straight into Dohoon’s eyes.
In those eyes too.
there was an old regret left behind, just like hers.
"Us."
Yeoju said first.
"...Let’s stop apologizing now."
"..."
"You too."
"..."
"Me too."
Dohoon looked at Yeoju for a moment.
Then he smiled slowly.
"...Okay."
It was a short answer.
But.
It felt like the sound of one knot that had stayed tangled for years.
quietly coming undone.
-
The bus arrived.
The two of them got on side by side.
There was only one seat.
"Sit."
Dohoon said.
"You sit."
"I’m fine."
"I’m fine too."
After a brief standoff.
In the end, the two of them laughed together.
"...So childish."
"Yeah."
Yeoju sat by the window.
Dohoon stood next to her.
The bus set off.
As Yeoju watched the lights passing by outside the window, she suddenly lifted her head.
Dohoon reflected in the window was.
just like he had been in middle school.
and in high school.
always exactly the same person who had been beside her.
Then it happened.
The bus lurched hard.
"Ah!"
The moment her body pitched forward.
Dohoon reflexively grabbed Yeoju’s arm.
"...Are you okay?"
"...Yeah."
A short answer.
His hand let go quickly, but.
Yeoju’s heart.
wouldn’t calm down so easily.
-
The stop in front of her house.
The two of them got off the bus together.
The moment they were about to part.
Dohoon called from behind her.
"Yeoju."
"...Hm?"
Dohoon hesitated for a moment, then smiled.
"...I’m glad."
"...For what?"
"For talking to me again."
Leaving those words behind.
Dohoon walked ahead first.
Yeoju stared at his back for a while.
Then she smiled very slightly.
"...Idiot."
She hadn’t known before.
That Kim Dohoon also.
was as awkward as she was.
