It felt like everything was over. I felt like I was finally living in the present, like I was finally myself.
I think I can send it now.
A farewell to Ui-geon, who I loved passionately and who loved me until the end.
I wasn't sure I could keep from crying. But I felt like I could smile.
After the voice actor left the company, Daniel apologized every time we made eye contact. He felt like he'd taken his anger out on me for no reason. He also revealed his honest feelings. He said he hated and was annoyed by the way the voice actor spoke to him. He expressed his feelings honestly and smiled brightly. He said that his feelings stemmed from his deep affection for me.
We deliberately told ourselves not to tell anyone at work because we didn't want rumors to spread and for our story to become the topic of lunchtime gossip, but Daniel's eyes were so clear that no one could be fooled.
"Hey, you're meeting the team leader again?? What's going on with the two of you?? Your eyes are just dripping with honey~"
One thing I was mistaken about was that it wasn't just about chatting during lunch hours. I would sometimes drop by when I went out to buy a cup of coffee or when I was stretching while working.
The handsome and capable team leader who is good at his job smiled with a hint of burden when the female employees at work asked him what kind of style his boyfriend, the team leader, was like, but no one cared about my reaction, whether they didn't know or were pretending not to know.
"I think you're doing a good job.. haha.."
Even at such an obvious remark, people cheered and exclaimed, “As expected of the team leader.”
At that time, the team leader came back from the bathroom.
"You were talking about me again, weren't you? What did Ji-eun and Yeo-ju say?"
"Great... I just said you did a good job..."
"Oh my, are you just going to do a good job?
Since I've already been caught, can I have lunch alone with you today?
At work, he confidently held my hand and asked what I wanted for lunch.
If it were before, I would have pushed him away, asking why he was doing this in front of everyone, but now I was too worried about the hand I was holding and was shaking to even think about that, so I couldn't even answer. So I ended up not having time to care about what other people thought.
The team leader, who was leaving while holding my hand, waved to the employees and told them to enjoy their lunch.
"I can just eat whatever we want..."
"I can't do that."
Daniel and Ui-geon looked similar, but their speech and actions were completely different. It was so different that I wondered why I'd ever confused them.
"Tell me about that while we eat today.
"Memories that I came to the aquarium to forget before."
"is it so."
"Is it okay if I ask?"
"I'm really okay now."
Because you filled it. Because you filled my life, which was so empty and painful.
Ms. Yeoju and I went out to have lunch together and sat down at a restaurant near the company.
"That aquarium is where I first met Uigeon. I first went there in elementary school. The teacher told me to just follow him, but I got lost and lost. Uigeon helped me. We've been friends ever since."
"You were friends and then you became lovers?"
"Yes."
That's what Yeoju said to me at the aquarium. She came back here to forget the precious memories she had there. To forget and let go. That was the precious memory of her first meeting with the deceased Mr. Ui-geon.
"The reason I suggested we go there, Daniel, was because I wanted to start anew there. I thought that if I could create another beautiful memory there, the old ones would be a little lighter."
"So, did you feel lighter?"
"Well, but what's clear is that now, even when I talk about and recall old events like this, I don't cry."
The fact that Yeoju-ssi stopped shedding tears when recalling the past was almost like the fulfillment of all my wishes. This was my one goal. Now that Yeoju-ssi could smile, and that I could see her smiling more often, I looked forward to the many days ahead.
"I will make many beautiful memories for you in the future."
It was the female protagonist who nodded with the smile I had been longing to see.
"Oh, while we're on the subject, should we go to the movies after work today? We said we'd go before but we never did..."
"If you're going to say sorry, then don't go. I'm really okay with it. No overtime today? Then I'm fine."
The time I had left work, when I had a date scheduled, seemed to pass even slower than usual. Watching the clock tick by, I cursed inwardly. "Please, get up and run."
After looking at the clock and the computer alternately all day, the long and short hands finally arrived at 6 o'clock.
"Good job everyone! See you tomorrow~"
Then he took Yeoju's hand again and went outside.
"But what movie are you going to watch?"
"Anything."
“Wasn’t there a movie you wanted to see?”
"No. I just wanted to go to the movies with you. Is there a movie you want to see?"
"No... I don't have any either..."
At the movie theater we arrived at, I held Yeoju's hand and looked around at the movies that were showing.
The action is crazy, the sadness isn't that great, and the ghosts are just ghosts.
Then I ended up watching a crime thriller movie.
The female lead said with an excited face that she was really looking forward to the movie, saying that her dream was to become a police officer in the past. Her lipstick color, which was darker than usual today, looked pretty.
Ah, what are you thinking about now..!
You came here to watch a movie, right? A movie theater where you have to sit side by side and sit motionless while watching. The reason I came was so I could see the faces of the female protagonists, so focused on the movie. Get a grip!
The female protagonist, who was more talkative than usual, perhaps because she was excited, could have imagined that I was thinking these things right now..?
We went into the movie theater with large popcorn and a drink each.
Even after checking the seat and sitting down, Yeoju looked very excited.
"It's been a while since I've been to the cinema. I'm so excited."
"It's probably the first time since high school."
The lights went out and it was dark, as if the movie was about to start.
It was so dark, but I could see at a glance what kind of expression the female protagonist was making.
Still smiling. It seems like he's been smiling ever since he came to the cinema.
You were originally a person who smiled a lot, Yeoju.
The movie started with the sound of rain and tense background music, as befitting a thriller.
The female lead focused on the movie, taking out the popcorn in my hand one by one and eating it, and my eyes went to the lips of the female lead, who was trying a little hard to concentrate, and to the lips of the female lead, who was chewing on the popcorn.
Are you really crazy..? This is sick to this extent.
It seemed like I'd have to give up on this plan to really watch the heroine concentrate. I was going crazy.
Phew... I took a deep breath and put the popcorn in my mouth.
Let's watch a movie, let's watch a movie...
I watched the movie without any expectations, but it was more fun than I expected.
A sudden incident in a quiet village and a culprit who has yet to be identified.
Actually, I'm not the type of person who enjoys watching movies, so I was just watching quietly when the female lead whispered in my ear.
"Daniel, who do you think is the culprit?"
When I turned around in surprise, he smiled brightly and said:
"I think I know who the culprit is. What about you, Niel?"
I have no idea who the culprit is, and I don't care.
"The village chief is the culprit. Am I right? Just wait."
In the dark movie theater, I unconsciously kissed the lips of the red female protagonist that were illuminated by the screen light.
He opened his eyes wide in surprise and said, “What! This is a public place!” and hit my shoulder without hurting me.
I'm sorry... I really tried to hold back until the end...
"So don't whisper. If you do that one more time, it might not end with a kiss."
My heart wouldn't listen to me, so I couldn't help it.
I wasn't a completely ordinary person either.
Still, I thought I had lived well because I was able to hide my feelings well from others and had done well in hiding them until now. Of course, I planned to continue living that way in the future.
But I couldn't understand why I couldn't hide my feelings from Yeoju. Why did the things I thought inside come out in words and actions without reason?
I'm not really this kind of person.
When I was young, my father remarried. A new mother came into our house, and from then on, I started hiding my true feelings from others.
That was when I was 11, so it's been about 15 years already.
The fact that my mom was my stepmom, that I didn't know where my real mom was, and that I really missed my mom. When I was 11, I hid it really well. My father would get furious whenever my mom's story came up.
Even though my stepmother's food didn't suit my taste, I ate it well, and because I was forced to eat so much, I vomited all night and couldn't sleep, and when I went to school in the morning, I didn't show any signs of fatigue.
I got used to living like that, so I reacted indifferently even when something bad happened at school, and I never missed classes even when I wasn't feeling well.
In the past 15 years of living like that, all I've gained is maintaining human relationships.
I never had fights with people because I was upset, and I never showed my upset feelings to others for any other reason. I was always able to smile and speak gently.
But the variables in my life started after I met Yeoju.
I saw her with sad eyes that looked like they might burst into tears at any moment. The frustration of that moment when she called out another man's name. No, the face of the sleeping female protagonist that I saw when I opened my eyes that morning. It must have been from that time.
I should have woken him up and asked him what was going on, how I was sober the night before and how I was at my own home, but I ran out of the house, and when I met Yeoju again at work, I raised my voice and expressed my frustration in an uncharacteristic way.
It was absurd that the dead lover returned to the female protagonist, but equally absurd was the way I reacted to her, which was so out of character for me.
Once like that, twice when I blurted out the words I'd only ever thought in my head, "Can I kiss you?" Three times when I actually went up to Yeoju's house and showered her with kisses. Four times when I reacted sharply to the words of a man named Ong Seong-wu. And finally, five times when I kissed Yeoju in the movie theater.
Five times something ridiculous has happened to me.