“I’m sorry I got angry..”
For a while, the team leader held me warmly behind me. I endured two long years without anyone to comfort me. No, perhaps I simply didn't seek out anyone to comfort me. Yet, the warmth of those two difficult years seemed to melt away. I wished time could just stand still, warm like this.
After crying my heart out, I felt like the weight of my heart had lifted. But that was the moment I realized I couldn't shed a single tear.
I felt sorry enough to be sorry, and hurt enough to be hurt. I thought that after that, I could start anew.
The order was wrong.
I was still in pain because I hadn't tried a new beginning until now.
“Please give me a little more time.”
“It’s been hard for two years.. Can I endure it any longer..?”
“There are still things I haven’t done yet.. I’ll get up and see after that’s done.
No matter when I start, I want to start fresh with the team leader.
Still... is that okay..?
“I will be by your side even before you start anew.
“I don’t want to fall again…so I can get up as quickly as possible.”
“Good morning~”
The team leader arrived a little after work hours.
“Why are you late?”
“Oh, I overslept. Sorry~”
The team leader spoke with his signature laugh. He then returned to his seat, briefly making eye contact with me before flashing his signature smile once more. Seeing that, I couldn't help but laugh along.
When I turned my gaze back to the computer, a text message arrived from the team leader.
"You didn't have dinner last time. How about dinner today?"
‘Because we can’t have lunch together…’
I smiled again and replied.
'great.'
Everyone was focused on their work, and in the blink of an eye, it was lunchtime.
“Let’s go have lunch~”
Everyone stands up at the agent's voice.
Arriving at a restaurant near the company, people jostle for seats. The most competitive spot was next to the team leader.
A new employee like me would usually sit in the last seat, but the team leader's touch made me sit down next to him.
“But weren’t you two originally on good terms?”
“Why? Does it look like that?”
“Yes. You seem really close.”
I became very cautious when I heard the agent's question.
I was wondering what to say... whether I should just make up some words, but I guess it was just me.
“We just met a little while ago at work. By chance..”
If I just blurt out the truth without hesitation, the team leader will be flustered and roll his eyes. If I say we became close after only meeting by chance... won't he think it's strange...?
The moment I swallowed and said, “I... that...”, I saw the old woman passing by outside the window.
When I stopped talking, everyone started asking one by one why I was like that.
And then, with only one thought in mind, he ran out without saying a word, thinking that he had to do what he had to do.
“Miss Yeoju?!”
I wanted to know. I just wanted to know the truth of that day.
I thought the old lady knew, so I just followed her.
“Excuse me! Grandma, wait a minute!!”
This time, my grandmother turned around at my call and smiled at me. I couldn't understand the meaning of her smile.
“You’ve changed a lot since we last met, haven’t you?”
“I have a question for you.”
My grandmother just stood there, looking at me, without saying a word.
"That day, the day of the accident two years ago, I don't remember a single thing that happened. I was badly injured that day and was taken to the same hospital as Ui-geon... All I remember is that the accident happened and Ui-geon died. Please tell me. How did Ui-geon die?"
“I don’t remember, so why do you insist on finding out?”
“Yeah,”
“If you want to know, I’ll tell you. But I won’t keep it to myself.”
“Are you telling me to forget and live..?”
“I wished that young man hadn’t died, but it was my own choice, and I have no regrets.”
“....Did Grandma meet Ui-geon too?”
“He said that even if I went back hundreds of times, I would make the same choice.”
“..I met Ui-geon too! I don’t know how it happened, but on rainy nights, he was on someone else’s body.”
“I told you to say goodbye. You didn’t.”
There were so many things I wanted to ask. How did this happen? How long would we last? Did he have any requests or requests for me? What could I do to make things easier for Ui-geon? These questions all came crashing down in a single, heartbreaking utterance: "Goodbye."
I didn't think it would be a goodbye.
I wanted to do anything for you. But all I could do was say goodbye. That was it.
What on earth did I want to do? What did I think I could do? Did I hope for another miracle, just because a miracle had happened to us?
I couldn't tell if my current emotions were emptiness, disappointment, or regret. While I was consumed by these complex emotions, my grandmother disappeared again.
“Shall I give you a hug?”
Instead, the team leader was behind me.
“What can I do for you?”
".......under....."
My hands were shaking.
I couldn't even bear the fact that Yi Geon was dead.
I didn't even realize I hadn't been able to say goodbye.
And now, it seemed like he had found a way to be comfortable without Yi-Geon coming back.
The team leader took my trembling hand and asked.
“Can I ask what happened?”
“......I think I found a way to end it all..”
After hearing my answer, the team leader simply said that he was fine with it and would follow my decision, and that I should do whatever I wanted.