21. Jeong Su-yeon (2)
Written by Malranggong.
*Please note that this article contains depictions of domestic violence.
Jung Soo-yeon's sixth birthday was approaching. Every year, on her birthday, the only time the house didn't feel cold. Instead, a false warmth would linger. Jung Soo-yeon, now more perceptive than before, sensed the false warmth, but she didn't care. As long as there was warmth, as long as she could see her parents and Hoseok smile, Jung Soo-yeon would be happy with anything. It was a significant improvement over her usual cold smile, her usual wry grin.
“Suyeon, this is the doll you’ve always wanted. Do you like it?”
“Yeah, I like it. I love it. Thank you, oppa!”
A bright smile spread across Jung Soo-yeon's face as she jumped up and down. No matter how perceptive she was, she was still only six years old, at an age when she would often act up, so she and her doll were thrown into Hoseok's arms. Hoseok hugged Jung Soo-yeon, who was pure and innocent, and stroked her hair. Something he had resolved to do a long time ago seemed to be wavering. However, Hoseok seemed to have no intention of changing his mind. It seemed like he would do it as planned. Hoseok met Jung Soo-yeon's eyes and muttered words that seemed to be tinged with apology.
“Happy birthday, Suyeon.”
Jung Soo-yeon had questions about Hoseok's face, which seemed somehow uneasy and precarious, but somehow she wanted to hug him, so she hugged him tighter. Although it was too big to say that Jung Soo-yeon was hugging her, it seemed like she was just holding her. Hoseok felt a tingling sensation on the tip of his nose as he held the small and delicate Jung Soo-yeon.
***
After a delicious dinner, Jung Soo-yeon's parents, exhausted from preparing for her birthday party until the wee hours of the morning, went to bed earlier than usual. Jung Soo-yeon and Hoseok cleaned up the traces of their meal in place of their parents who had already fallen asleep, and took down all the balloons they had stuck to the wall for the birthday party. Then, Jung Soo-yeon yawned, as if quite tired, and hugged Hoseok and said good night. It was a greeting she always said before going to bed. But for some reason, today, Hoseok's heart ached at that greeting. Perhaps that was why Hoseok hugged Jung Soo-yeon tighter, stroked her hair more affectionately than usual, and swallowed his good night greeting heavily. Jung Soo-yeon was suspicious of Hoseok's strange behavior today, but she thought it was nothing serious, that it was just a whim, and went to her room.
If I had asked Hoseok what was going on back then, if I had hugged him more affectionately than usual, would things have been different?
***
In the quiet night when everyone was asleep, Hoseok came out to the living room with his suitcase. He tried to make as little noise as possible, so as not to wake anyone. Hoseok knew that if his parents woke up in this situation, he could be beaten to death. That's why he headed towards the front door with extra caution. At that moment, Hoseok's nerves were on edge, startled by someone's presence and he dropped the suitcase he was holding on the floor. A thud and silence cut through the air. Hoseok grabbed his pounding heart and looked back. There stood Jung Soo-yeon, rubbing her eyes and half-asleep. It seemed she had found Hoseok while going to the bathroom and had come to him.
“Ugh… Oppa, what are you doing there…?”
Jung Soo-yeon, who was so sleepy that her speech was slurred, asked Hoseok what he was doing. Hoseok approached her and hugged her tightly, whispering, “I’m not doing anything, nothing…” Hoseok held Jung Soo-yeon close for a long time, and only when she said she was suffocating did he let her go. Hoseok picked up the suitcase he had dropped earlier and walked towards the front door. When Jung Soo-yeon, who had woken up a little, asked Hoseok where he was going, Hoseok paused for a moment, held back tears, and spoke in a voice that seemed choked up.
“Just… going out for a bit. I’ll be back soon, Suyeon. So…”
Wait. Hold on. Hoseok couldn't say those words, his conscience prickling his last. He looked at Jeong Su-yeon with innocent eyes, only apologizing, and promised to return soon before leaving through the front door.
But Hoseok never came back after that.