Thursday in the first week of August, a team dinner was set up to celebrate the end of the first half of the year.
Inside a private room at a barbecue restaurant near the company.
The team members sat around a long table.
Assistant Manager Jungwon was at the seat farthest across from me.
The seat farthest from me, as if it had been chosen on purpose.
It was when a few rounds of meat had gone around and a few beer glasses had been emptied.
Mr. Sunwoo leaned his body toward me, glass in hand.
"Oh, right! Ms. Yeoju, you’re dating someone?"
"Huh?"
"That guy from Sales, Park Jongseong, right?"
The table went quiet for a moment.
And then, before long, a burst of "Whoa" broke out.
"What, Ms. Yeoju’s dating?"
"A new guy in Sales? That tall friend?"
"You mean that potato-lookalike?"
"No! He’s just a college friend."
I waved my hands, but Mr. Sunwoo paid no attention.
"Come on, everyone in Sales already knows. They say Park Jongseong bragged like crazy last week that he bought a ring. You two always have lunch together, and leave work together too."
"I’m telling you, it’s not like that. It’s really not……"
"Oh, look at Ms. Yeoju getting shy."
Someone said it teasingly, and laughter erupted again.
My voice was drowned out by the laughter.
I reflexively looked to the far side across from me.
Assistant Manager Jungwon was setting down his glass.
Very slowly, without a sound.
"I’m going out for some fresh air for a bit."
Leaving only those words behind, Assistant Manager Jungwon left the room.
No one paid it any mind.
Everyone had already moved on to a different topic.
I was the only one still looking at that empty seat.
*
I said I was going to the restroom and came out of the shop.
The August night air was muggy.
In the alley beside the shop, where the neon sign barely reached, Assistant Manager Jungwon was standing.
He had his phone to his ear.
"……No. It’s fine."
A low voice came through.
It was banmal I’d never once heard at the office.
"Since when did I expect anything. I just……"
The words broke off.
Assistant Manager Jungwon ran a hand over his face.
"Hang up, Seunghun. I have to go back in."
After ending the call, Assistant Manager Jungwon turned around.
And met my eyes.
For a split second, it was an unguarded face.
Tired, almost hurt.
That expression disappeared almost immediately.
"Ms. Kim Yeoju. You’re not inside."
"Assistant Manager, earlier—"
I took a breath.
This time, I had to say it.
"No, that thing. Everyone just misunderstood……"
"It’s okay."
Assistant Manager Jungwon cut me off.
His voice was as calm as usual.
"I know office romances are a sensitive topic. You don’t need to explain it to me."
"That’s not what I mean."
"As long as you don’t show it at work, no one’s going to say anything. It’s a good thing, isn’t it?"
A good thing.
The same face he’d had that day at the department store when he said congratulations.
"Assistant Manager, please listen to me……"
Then the shop door swung open abruptly.
"Assistant Manager! The team lead is looking for you. He says it’s time for the toast!"
It was Mr. Sunwoo.
Assistant Manager Jungwon nodded and passed me by, heading back into the shop.
He was so close our shoulders could have brushed, but he never once looked at me.
I was left alone in the alley.
Since when did I expect anything.
That one line from the phone call kept echoing in my ears.
*
By next Monday, the rumor had spread beyond the team.
Someone from another team we ran into in the hallway passed by saying, "I heard you’re dating Park Jongseong from Sales?"
I didn’t even get a chance to explain.
The more I said no, the more everyone just laughed.
I sent Jongseong a message.
Hey, how did you end up talking about the ring in Sales? The rumor’s gone around that we’re dating.
OMG, really? I clearly told them I have a long-term girlfriend and that you and I have nothing going on.
Looks like they only heard the first part. Sorry, sorry, I’ll say it again!
That night, I opened my chat window with Assistant Manager Jungwon.
Assistant Manager, Jongseong has a girlfriend of his own.
He’s giving that ring to her.
I just went to help pick it out.
I stopped with my fingers there.
If I sent this, what would Assistant Manager Jungwon say?
Would he just end it with Oh, I see.
Or would he ask.
Why are you even explaining that to me?
Then what would I say back.
I didn’t want the assistant manager to misunderstand.
I didn’t want him to see me that way, of all people.
That was almost a confession.
I deleted the words one by one.
I didn’t have the courage to say something like that to someone who wouldn’t even look at me.
*
At five on Friday afternoon, Team Leader Choi Jeongmin called the two of us in.
"The numbers on Monday morning’s executive report materials have changed. Assistant Manager Yang and Ms. Yeoju, please get them sorted by today. Sorry, it’s urgent."
That was the team lead’s order.
There was no way to avoid it.
Six o’clock, seven o’clock, eight o’clock. One by one, the people who had been leaving work disappeared, and only Jungwon and I were left in the office.
If it had been a month ago, I would have liked a night like this.
A night with someone beside me saying, I’ve got some work to look at too.
Now all I could hear was the sound of keyboards.
Assistant Manager Jungwon’s typing, and my typing. We didn’t say a single word to each other.
Anything we needed to say came through the company messenger.
From right beside us.
Ten at night. It was pitch black outside, and only the office fluorescent lights were shining white.
I stole a look at Assistant Manager Jungwon’s side profile over my monitor.
We’re this close, and yet how can he be this far away?
