Monday morning, I ran into Assistant Manager Jeong Won in front of the elevator.
"Good morning, Assistant Manager."
"...Good morning."
This time, he looked at me and his ears turned red.
Inside the elevator, neither of us said a word.
The conversation from Friday night at the bar, the voice that had said he’d talk when he was sober, was filling the cramped space to the brim.
The doors opened on the 12th floor.
Assistant Manager Jeong Won started to get off first, then pressed the open button and waited for me.
"You go first."
"...Okay."
It was such an ordinary exchange. But it had been a month.
*
I couldn’t focus on work all day.
Assistant Manager Jeong Won seemed the same.
His work was still perfect. He never faltered even when the team leader asked questions.
But every time our eyes met, his hand on the mouse would stop.
Three in the afternoon.
A cup was set down on my desk.
Caramel sauce had been drizzled in a lattice pattern inside the clear cup.
When I looked up, Assistant Manager Jeong Won had already gone back to his seat.
Not a word.
Not even that he’d just bought anything.
Team leader Yu Jin across from me looked from the cup to Assistant Manager Jeong Won and back, then hid a smile behind his monitor.
I put in a straw.
It was a flavor I was tasting for the first time in a month.
Assistant Manager, I’ll wash the handkerchief and give it back to you.
When I sent the message, a short reply came from the seat beside me.
Take your time.
*
By the time work ended, the sky had suddenly gone dark.
When I got down to the first-floor lobby, a sudden shower was already pouring down.
The road outside the revolving door was quickly soaked white.
I took out a yellow long umbrella.
I’d brought it because of the morning forecast.
When I looked beside me, Assistant Manager Jeong Won was standing there empty-handed.
"Assistant Manager, don’t you have an umbrella?"
"...It was clear this morning."
"Let’s share mine. To the station."
Assistant Manager Jeong Won hesitated for a moment, then nodded.
Then he took the umbrella from my hand and opened it.
As if it was only right for the taller person to hold it.
We walked out together under the yellow umbrella.
The rain pounded onto the umbrella.
We were close enough for our shoulders to touch.
Before we’d gone far, the rain got heavier.
Too heavy for one umbrella to handle.
"Let’s wait it out here for a bit."
Assistant Manager Jeong Won pointed to the bus stop by the road.
Once we stepped under the roof, the rain sound faded a layer away.
We were the only two at the stop.
Assistant Manager Jeong Won folded the umbrella and shook off the water.
Then, after staring at the road for a long while, he opened his mouth.
"I’m sober. Right now."
"...Yes."
"Can I say it?"
I nodded.
My heartbeat was louder than the rain.
Assistant Manager Jeong Won took a bundle of keys out of his pants pocket.
Then he held it up beside the folded umbrella strap.
A black cat dangled from the keyring.
The cat from the basket on workshop day.
It looked just like the white cat hanging from my umbrella strap.
"It was a set."
I held my breath.
"This umbrella is mine."
Summer of my sophomore year.
The day I waited in front of the club room for the rain to stop.
A yellow umbrella hanging from the doorknob.
Take it, a one-line Post-it note.
And beyond the window at the end of the hallway, a back view crossing the playground in the rain.
"...That was you, Assistant Manager?"
"You were pacing around in front of the club room, so I figured I could just run since my building was right there."
"You ran through that rain?"
"It wasn’t far."
Assistant Manager Jeong Won said it flatly.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
"After that, I saw you using this umbrella every rainy day. Until graduation."
"...Why didn’t you say anything? I even posted in the club board looking for the owner."
"If I said anything, I didn’t know what I’d have to say next."
A bus stopped at the stop, then pulled away again when no one got on.
"When I saw this umbrella again at the company in May, my hands were shaking so badly I almost spilled all my coffee. I didn’t know you were still using it."
That morning, when he’d said it was a unique color, came back to me.
"I used this umbrella for years. I really had no idea the owner was you, Assistant Manager."
Assistant Manager Jeong Won looked down at me.
From very close.
"You really knew nothing at all."
It was the first time I’d heard him speak casually. Low, with a faint hint of laughter.
"Then let me ask one more thing."
I looked at Assistant Manager Jeong Won’s hand holding the folded umbrella.
"Back then at the bar, you said I shouldn’t get too close to someone who has a boyfriend. But buying coffee, staying late together, taking a photo of the taxi license plate—that’s what a senior does for a junior, whether they have a boyfriend or not."
Assistant Manager Jeong Won didn’t answer for a long time. Only the rain could be heard.
"...If I’d just been a senior, then yes."
"Then what were you?"
Assistant Manager Jeong Won took one breath.
Then he looked straight at me. Without looking away.
"I’ve liked you for quite a while."
The rain sound receded.
"Much longer than you think. Even before the day I left this umbrella at the club room."
"..."
"When I saw your name on the new hire list at work, I raised my hand first to be your mentor. But once you were actually in front of me, I couldn’t do anything right."
"When I heard you had a boyfriend, I thought I shouldn’t let it show. So I kept my distance. I didn’t know that would make you cry. Sorry."
I looked up at Assistant Manager Jeong Won. The tips of his ears were bright red.
"...Me too."
"Huh?"
"I like you too. Every time you act like an idiot, senior."
Assistant Manager Jeong Won’s eyes widened.
Then slowly, the corners of his mouth lifted.
Just a little, then even his eyes did.
The hand not holding the umbrella carefully reached for mine.
I squeezed that hand tightly.
The rain eased up a little.
Assistant Manager Jeong Won opened the umbrella again.
This time, we walked while holding hands.
It wasn’t until we reached the station entrance that I realized.
Assistant Manager Jeong Won’s left shoulder was soaked through.
He’d walked all the way with the umbrella tilted only toward me.
Just like that day in college.
