Five minutes before I die

13 . husband material

Ah. I pulled an all-nighter.


All I could think about was what Choi Yeonjun had said.


Why....why did he say that?


From another guy’s point of view, was I kind of a disappointment?


Or was my face just not good enough?


Or maybe....


Does he like me........?


....


Oh, come on, unless the guy’s crazy, why would he like me.


I lay spread-eagled on the bed and stared holes into the ceiling pattern.


....But if that’s the case....


All the things he’s said and done so far....





















"I’ve been watching since earlier, and I think you’ve been a bit harsh with my girlfriend."




"Can I stay a little longer?"




"Want me to carry you?"




"You didn’t do anything wrong."




"Touch me more."











Could someone with no feelings really say things like that?


....Ugh, this is so complicated-


I don’t know!!!!!


.....


No, but then....why does everything he says....


feel this....exciting....


Ha, fuck.


I’m tired from not sleeping, too.....





Then, someone texted me on KakaoTalk.


I jumped, thinking it might be Choi Yeonjun, and looked at my phone.





....


Ah, shit.


We’re meeting today?!?!?!??!?!






























I hurriedly washed up, did my makeup, changed clothes, and went outside.


I didn’t wash my hair, so I tied it up—just saying-


My clothes might’ve been too sloppy too....I came out in a rush. (Just a slightly less revealing sheer knit top and bootcut jeans.....)


So different from our first meeting.


It wasn’t like we met often anyway, and if you think about it, this was our second meetup after the first time.


Fuck, no, but seriously, why is my memory so bad?


Of course, it was the alcohol again; I need to quit drinking.


How could I forget even a plan like this- and it’s not like it was with just anyone, it was with Mr. Seungwoo.....


But seriously, I don’t remember ever making plans with him?!




















"Eun ssi-"


Mr. Seungwoo was sitting by the window at the restaurant and waved at me.


"Sorry. I’m a little late."


"No, it’s fine. I was the one who suddenly asked to meet."


"....Huh?"


Fuck, so my memory isn’t bad—I really never made plans?


"I didn’t think you’d actually come after being fooled, it was a joke."
"But now that I’ve already spent time getting ready, it’d be a waste to say it was a lie-"


"......Oh."


.....


A bit....


Is he crazy?


I’ve never seen a bastard like this in my 27 years of life.


"Did you have fun with your friend yesterday?"


"Ah, yes, yes...ㅎㅎ."


"What kind of relationship do you have with that person?"


"....Pardon?"
"Out of the blue...?"


"Ah, if you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to tell me."
"They say there’s no such thing as friendship between men and women."
"But you and that person really look like close friends."


...Should I be honest?


"Well, we’re just childhood friends I’ve known since we were little."
"Haha, we went to the same high school-"


Wow, even as I say it, I feel insanely guilty.


"Oh~ then you’ve basically known each other for almost ten years."


"Yeah, yeah... somehow it ended up that way."


"Then you must be super close friends."
"Seeing each other at their worst and everything."


Worst... yeah, we’ve seen it all.


We’ve both gotten drunk and acted like complete trash.


"Yeah, haha, that’s right."


"...."
"So you don’t have any personal feelings, right?"


"..Pardon?"
"I mean like, seeing him as a man, or liking him romantically, or anything like that."


...Why was he asking this?


"Well... I’ve never really thought about that."


"But we don’t meet when we have feelings for each other."
"We’re just....just close frie..... no."
"...friends."
A smile spread across his stiff expression.


"That’s a relief then."


"Huh...? What is?"


"Ah, no, nothing."


"Aren’t you hungry?"
"If you haven’t had lunch yet, order something and eat."
"Oh, really??? Then I....."


Ah, shit


I got excited and lost my head over the food.


Mr. Seungwoo looked at me with a flustered expression.


I should’ve at least been to some fancy restaurant like this in my life-


"Uh...ㅎㅎ"


"This is the first time I’ve seen Eun ssi this loud."
"Ah, ah.....ㅎㅎ"


Wow, seriously....I want to disappear.....


He must’ve thought I was a crazy bitch, right?

No, worse than that, like a fat pig bitch?

Fat bitch?!?

"I think I’m okay not eating, I....."


"No, eat."


"You didn’t eat before coming, did you?"
"W-well....that’s....true, but."


"Then eat."


"I didn’t eat either, so I was just about to order."
"Ah...then."


"Yes, haha..." (He didn’t refuse.)
"What would you like?"


"Ah, I eat everything, so..."


"Then shall we order a couple set and share it?"


"Sounds good..!!"


I ate like someone who’d come out just to eat.

I halfheartedly answered Mr. Seungwoo’s questions and kept shoving food into my mouth.

Actually, earlier……

when the waiter was serving the food,

“Your two-person couple set that you ordered is here~”

“Thank you.”

“By the way, you two really suit each other-”

“You look just like a handsome, beautiful couple.”

“Ah, we’re not a coupl…..”

“Right? Thank youㅎㅎ.”

….

He cut me off.

Mr. Seungwoo cut me off.

And also, what’s with the couple thing.....seriously.

Why is this guy like this?

After that, I was a little upset, so I just focused on eating.

“Eun ssi, is something uncomfortable?”

”Huh?“

”Ah, no.“

”You seem a little down, compared to earlier.“

”Ah...do I?“

”If something’s bothering you, just tell me comfortably.“

”Did I do something wrong?“

I was so caught off guard by the sudden question that I didn’t know what to do.

I fidgeted around like a puppy that needed to poop.

Mr. Seungwoo lowered his head and met my eyes.

“Aren’t you going to tell me?”

…..Do I really have to say this…?

“…It’s nothing.”

“You don’t have to worry about it.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing to me.”

“Tell me quickly.”

“Then I’ll know whether I need to fix it or not-”

“…Actually.”

”You suddenly calling me over like that was kind of uncomfortable from the start.“

Since I said it, I could see his expression harden in real time.

”I really thought I’d misunderstood and… I didn’t even get to prepare properly, so I just went out there half-assed.“

”That’s why I apologized as soon as I got there too.“

”Ah...I’m sorry if it bothered you, really.“

”From my side, I just wanted to get closer to Eun ssi..“

”…And.“

”You cut me off while I was talking earlier too.“

”Why did you lie to the waiter and say we were a couple?“

”..Pardon?“

”Well, there wasn’t anything bad about saying it like that....“

”There wasn’t anything good about it either.“

”Ah...you were upset because I said we were a couple when we’re not..?“

”Not exactly that, but....“

”From my point of view, the waiter was saying that, and if I sharply denied it and said we weren’t a couple, I thought it would be awkward for him, so I said it like that.“

”I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable, Eun ssi.“

“I ended up cutting you off too.”

“I’m really sorry about that too.”

The way he said it.....

made me feel like I was the trash one.

“Ah, no.”

“I was going to keep quiet because I knew you’d feel bad like this, Mr. Seungwoo..”

“No, I’m the one who was wrong, really.”

“Still, thank you for being brave enough to tell me.”

….He’s a good person.

I realized that then.

The perfect son-in-law type.

Someone who’d make a good husband.

Polite, kind, sincere, and understanding.

But....somehow,

I wasn’t drawn to him

.“Thanks to you, I ate well.”

“I’m really sorry for calling you out so suddenly without saying anything.”

“Let’s meet properly next time.”

“Ah, okay, sounds good..ㅎㅎ.”

“I’ll get going then.”

“Ah, wait…”

Mr. Seungwoo stopped me as I was about to leave.

He lightly grabbed my wrist.

He barely held it, but his hand covered my wrist completely.

His hand is.....really.....

so fucking big. Is he a giant?

I looked at Mr. Seungwoo with a dazed expression.

”Did you have something to say…?“

”…“

What is it…?

Why, why is he hesitating.

”Um….“

”I like Eun ssi…“

”What do you think of me, Eun ssi“

..?“We met twice....and what?No, why are all the men around me crazy?

I’m really sorry for the late update because of schoolwork……😭 I don’t have two mouths and still not enough words to say how sorry I am…..but I came right after my exam ended.

translations