A few days passed and I barely got to spend time with Lizzy and Pablo.
Yes, to this day, I still can't move on. But I'm still helping myself to accept whatever is between them now.
Who am I to oppose them both, right?
But I hope they remember me at least as a friend. I also miss the banter between the three of us.
The teasing, the fighting, the beating.
Waahh! I really miss my best friends!
TINA: "Maybe I need to get used to being alone! Haayy! You can do it yourself!"I said to myself as I sighed and patted my own shoulder.
Every step I take out of university is heavy and of course I'll be walking home alone now. What a sad life, right? Hey!
I was almost at the gate when I unexpectedly saw Lizzy appear in front of me.
LIZZY: "Hey, Tina. Are you on your way home?"he said while wrapping his arm around mine.
TINA: "Ah, yes. I need to get home early, I have some paperwork to finish."I answered while forcing a smile.
LIZZY: "I'm sorry I haven't been with you on your way home these past few days! You've been walking home alone."he said sadly.
TINA: "What are you doing! That's okay! You're not obligated to always accompany me home! Hehe."I said while smiling.
LIZZY: "If only I wasn't really busy! I would definitely go with you!"he said.
TINA: "Oh! It's really you! I'm fine. Don't worry."I said smiling and squeezed both of his cheeks.
Lizzy is such an admirable person. This is the reason why I can't be mad at this woman. She's really kind and thoughtful. That's why Pablo is so lucky to have her.
While Lizzy and I were talking, Pablo suddenly arrived.
And do you know what happens next?
REALITY STRIKES ME SO HARD.
It was as if cold ice had been poured on me because I witnessed once again how Pablo held Lizzy's hand.
The things I dream of experiencing with Pablo, he's doing with other people now.
I badly want to hold his hand. I want to make him mine. But, it's hard to believe that will happen. Because someone else is already holding him.
I wanted to just run away from them, but in the name of our friendship, I just held myself back.
I forced a smile again and was about to greet Pablo, but he didn't seem to notice me.
PABLO: "Lizzy, let's go! We have something else to do!"he said coldly and pulled Lizzy away.
LIZZY:"Wait a minute, Pablo! Don't pull me! Can't you see, I'm still talking to Tina!"he said and stopped Pablo from pulling him.
Pablo turned around and looked in my direction. But why was he like that? He looked at me coldly? It was like he didn't want to see me. He didn't even smile at me.
It felt like his chest was tight. It felt like something had changed in him.
Until he immediately looked away from me and spoke to Lizzy again.
PABLO: "We have more important things to do, let's go."At He finally pulled Lizzy away.
And I was left there. Before I knew it, tears were already flowing from my eyes.
Why is Pablo like that? Aren't I important to him? Even as a friend?
Those words from him hurt so much.
Maybe I wasn't really important to him. From the very beginning, I knew he didn't care about me. I was the only one who tried to be friends with him.
TINA: "You can move on too. You can receive everything too!"
I said to myself as I looked away from them. I kept wiping away my tears, but they just wouldn't stop flowing.
I think until I got home, my tears were still flowing.
Why do they have this effect on me? Do I deserve this? Is this my destiny? To be hurt? I hope I can get through this. Because it's hard.
Knowing that they are happy in love with each other, while I'm suffering the heart ache that they're causing me.
But I have nothing to blame them for, because it's my choice. It's my choice to hide my feelings. So it's my fault why I'm hurting.