Strange and beautiful
To those who still don't know why they're living, I'd like to tell a story. It's about a strange and beautiful place and beings different from me that happened only once in my life, a place I told countless times but no one believed.
I've always been a person filled with questions about life. Why do I have to live this way? What's my purpose? What will my future look like after I've lived this way? These were questions that didn't seem appropriate for my age. I was only seventeen when I first pondered these questions, and within a year, they had grown even more profound.
When I turned eighteen, I didn't really want to live. I didn't know why I was living, and I didn't know how to live. The questions I'd asked a year earlier were adding to the ones I'd asked myself a year before, tormenting me so much, and the stark contrast between how I saw others and how I saw myself made me loathe myself.
One day, for the first time, I skipped school, my daily routine, without a word. My phone buzzed all day, searching for me. My family at home, having seen me in my uniform that morning, must have been worried about where I was. At school, even my parents must have been surprised to find their once diligent student absent.
But I ignored all the calls and contacts. I simply turned off my phone and wandered the streets, the slightly chilly wind blowing. My eyes were filled with nothing but emptiness and loneliness, like a robot, unable to feel anything.
“Ah-, what do I do now?”
I walked without a set destination in mind. I paused for a moment, raised my head to the sky, and took a deep breath. My breath and the words I spoke were heavier than any other words I'd ever heard. They were a mixture of various emotions.It was then that something startling started to happen in my life. A strong wind blew through the quiet street, enough to push me away. I covered my eyes with my arms to resist the wind, and then I saw a pure white light.
The moment I saw the light, I felt my body gradually lose strength. My last memory was of my body slumping, even to the point of drowsiness, and my eyes closing.
🏝️
Frowning, I cautiously opened my eyes. All I could see was the azure sea. I was bewildered. Surely I'd closed my eyes in a city filled with gray buildings? I wondered if I was dreaming, but the fishy smell of water tickling my nose and the vivid sound of waves lingering in my ears convinced me it wasn't a dream at all.
I sat up, rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, and scanned my surroundings with rabbit eyes. All I could see was the sea, sand and gravel, and even tall palm trees. I couldn't quite place this place. All I could think was that it felt like a deserted island.
“Who brought this kid?”
“Jimin is my brother.”
“Hey, did you kidnap me again?!”
“Um… I just knocked him out and brought him here?”
"That's kidnapping, you crazy bastard."
As I was trying to regain my composure and grasp the situation, I heard the voices of some men. I was relieved I wasn't alone on this island, but at the same time, I wondered why they were there. They chattered on and on, and I sat up. Curiosity overpowered me, I muffled my footsteps and began eavesdropping.
“Ah, why does that bastard Park Jimin keep bringing humans here?”
“I don’t know. Did you bring him here again because you felt sorry for him?”
“Well, if you keep bringing humans, we’ll be in trouble.”
“I know, me too.”
"Does a kid you know bring a human?"
“No… his eyes are just…”
As I listened to their conversation like a little rat, my brows naturally furrowed. The man who brought me here was clearly Park Jimin... But the more I listened, the more they seemed different from me. They clearly called me human. As if they weren't.
Usually, when I first meet someone, I judge them by what they say, whether they're good, bad, or helpful to me. But things were a little different now. The constant mention of "human" felt a bit suspicious. The moment I started to suspect them, there was only one way to get off this island: either knock them out and run for their lives, or threaten them. For now, I picked up a stone nearby. It was about the size of my palm. Gripping it tightly in my hand, I cautiously approached them, step by step.
"What's with those eyes? Are they so pitiful, like all humans?"
"Ah, bro! This time it's different. He's not pitiful, he's dangerous. He's the kind of guy who could jump into the waves if he wanted to. Anyway, I feel a little strange watching him…"
"Wow, so that's why you dragged me here? Are you crazy? Park Jimin, don't you know where you are? This is a place where no human should ever set foot. This island, in particular, is a place for the gods."
“Taehyung, just a moment.”
What kind of crazy talk was this? A divine space? Not only were they exchanging suspicious words, but they were also spouting things that would be hard for a human to believe. In a situation where nothing made sense, I still clutched the stone, ready to hurl it at any moment if they saw me.
But soon, someone's hand takes that away from me, and I collapse onto the seat.
“What are you doing to a human being?”
“Oh, stone…!”
A man with light brown hair stared down at me with a cold expression, a hint of a smile. What was more chilling than his expression was that with a single wave of his hand, the rock I was holding was instantly in his grasp. I lost all strength in my seat and slid down the sand. I landed on my butt, but I was so trembling that I barely felt the pain.
“Are you trying to hit us with just this one small stone? This is ridiculous.”
"Hey, hey. Jungkook, relax your expression. Even I, who raised you, am scared. How scared must that kid be?"
"Huh, what kind of brother is carrying me on his back? He's even more ridiculous than that guy, really."
The man, whose face I'd wondered if the devil existed, soon turned his gaze to the man who claimed to have raised him. The two men began bickering noisily, and the rest of the men approached me and surrounded me. The lemon-haired man, Park Jimin, even reached out his hand, but I couldn't take it. No, to be precise, I didn't. My eyes were filled with suspicion, fear, and wariness toward them.
“It’s okay, you can grab it and get up.”
“…Why are you holding my hand if you hurt me? I don’t want to. Go away.”
"Hey, human. We're not that bad, are we? Stop being so embarrassing with your outstretched hand and get up."
"I told you I didn't want to. If you were decent people, shouldn't you never have brought me to a place like this in the first place?"
"Do you think we brought you here because we wanted to bring you back? It wasn't us who brought you here, it was that kid who was reaching out his hand."
I knew. I'd already overheard their conversation, and even heard the names of the man who'd brought me here, Park Jimin, and the man who'd been throwing a tantrum, Kim Taehyung. That made me even more reluctant to take their hand. The unfamiliar place, the unfamiliar people, their suspicious words. I had every reason to remain on guard, and I bit my lower lip, looking down.
“Oh my, Kim Taehyung, you need to calm down.”
“What the… what am I!”
"Instead of losing your temper at him, you should be beating up your friend. If you think about it, it's Park Jimin who's at fault."
"That's right. From what I've seen, Park Jimin would probably only come to his senses if he were stripped of his position. He uses his powers, which only gods can wield, to kidnap humans all day long."
“Hyung… I’m not that bad, am I?”
"No, it's not. I'll give you five seconds to run. If I catch you, you die."
“Look at Kim Taehyung’s eyes rolling back… Yoongi hyung, please save me!”
“Yeah, thanks.”
A man named Park Jimin pouted, his mouth agape, as if aggrieved. Then, when a man named Kim Taehyung made a gesture of slitting his throat with his hand, he screamed and started running. The others watched them as if they were used to it, snickering. Unlike them, my face remained rigid. I gulped, wondering if even this situation was a fabrication.
Next, I stood up on my own, without any assistance, and ran through the empty space. I didn't really know where my destination was. They probably knew this island better than I did, and if I couldn't escape, I figured I'd be safer if I got as far away from them as possible.
“Guys, is it okay to leave that woman like that?”
"Well, he needs time to think about it. It's not like he can just go back to where he was. It looks like he's really wary of us."
“Um… How much time is left until 24 hours?”
"There are still 21 hours left."
“I’ll leave you alone for a while, and if you don’t come back by the time the sun sets, then I’ll use my powers.”
I didn't know what kind of beings they were, or what their intentions were for bringing me here. Perhaps that's why I ran so desperately.
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After a long, panting run, I finally reached the relatively high point of the island. It was a place where, if I fell, I'd sink into the crashing waves of the sea. Running to the cliff, I sensed: this island, the place they spoke of as the realm of the gods? It felt right. Why did I think so? I hadn't seen a single crawling bug, let alone an animal, all the way here. It was quite amusing that, despite the magnificent growth of grass and trees, we were the only living creatures.
“… Ah, why are tears coming down my eyes?”
Did I just say I was laughing? No, that was a lie. I was a little scared. If the only living, breathing things were the plants, me, and them… After all, the only people I could rely on on this island were the ones I feared so much.
Even their very existence was still questionable and terrifying, and I wondered how I could possibly survive here. I was at a loss, unsure of what to do or where to go. The suffocating stifle made me pound my chest with my fist and cry out loud.
“If I jump from here, will I be able to go back…?”
I cried until I couldn't hold back any more tears, then stood up, staring blankly at the sea below the cliff. The idea that I could return home by throwing myself into that sea was utterly foolish. I knew it, but I'd blurted it out, wishing I'd done it. The response to my monologue was unexpected.
“Are humans really that stupid?”
"what?"
"No, common sense tells you that jumping from here wouldn't allow you to return to the world you used to live in."
I turned my head at the sound of a voice behind me. The one responding was the man who'd been irritating me earlier. His name was Kim Taehyung, I think. I'd felt it before, but this man was strangely irritating. His expression, as if he were mocking me, and his tone of voice seemed to mock me. Something welled up inside me.
"If you jump from there, you'll die. You'll be swept away by those sparkling waves, tossed back and forth, and sink to the bottom of the sea."
Annoying. Annoying. Annoying. That was the only time I was wary of him, afraid of him. Annoyance filled my head. I was annoyed by the man in front of me, Kim Taehyung, who seemed to be sneer at me. Something welling up inside me and my annoyance towards him mingled, causing me to unleash a rage I shouldn't have.
“…If I’m going to keep going like this, I’d rather die.”
"Hey, are you crazy?"
"You unlucky bastard. You're the worst person I've ever met, I don't know if you're human or not."
I chuckled and sneered at him. I backed away, catching myself on the edge of the cliff, and finally, I leaned back. The moment I fell, I saw his expression. His teeth clenched, his eyes tightly shut, his expression drawing a curved line across my lips as I fell toward the sea.
Then, the dazzling light I'd seen just before arriving here appeared before my eyes once more. It was so bright that I squinted my eyes, staring at it. Just as I was about to succumb, some force pulled me up to the edge of the cliff, and it was that unlucky man who embraced me. My memory was cut off again after being held in that man's arms.
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It was the same. The same fishy smell and the sound of the waves, the same as when I first opened my eyes, made me bite my lips. As the sun, floating in the center, set and the sky turned orange, I felt as if time had flown by. A hollow laugh escaped my lips. Time was passing like this, yet why was I still in this space? My clenched fists trembled.
“Are you awake?”
It was a man with lemon-colored hair. The man who had led me here, the man who had reached out to me. The man named Park Jimin drew closer and closer, and I cringed as he approached.
I still couldn't believe them, and was just afraid. The man, perhaps aware of this, stopped walking and crouched down. Unsure of what he was thinking, I glared at him, my nerves tense.
"Taehyung used his powers to save you. Why on earth did he make that choice?"
“…Why should I answer? You haven’t explained anything to me.”
"Are you curious? Who are we, where are we, and when can we return? If you're curious, I can tell you."
I crouched as far away from him as possible, then crouched down below him, reaching out again to take his hand. He squeezed mine gently and led us all along, urging us to go. I blinked and cautiously turned toward them.
“Wow, Jimin hyung really brought you here.”
"That guy's personality makes him easy for humans to fall for. Isn't that right, human?"
“…You said you’d explain. Stop talking nonsense and just explain quickly.”
I quickly let go of the man's hand and crouched down, keeping some distance from them. They snickered at me, and I found them even more suspicious.
"Wow, don't look at me like that. We're not really doing anything bad."
“Then what kind of people do they do…!”
"We're completely different from you. Hmm... If I told you we were one of the gods humans believe in, would you believe us?"
"god…?"
“This is a divine space where humans like you are not allowed to reach.”
The red-haired man referred to himself as God, and when I frowned, the unlucky man glared at me with a menacing gaze and opened his mouth. His attitude was a bit unsettling. I hadn't even wanted to come, and the lemon-haired man had brought me here, so why was he so hostile towards me?
"You said I wasn't supposed to be here. So why did you bring me here? Send me back where I came from, right now."
"Not right now. Once a human steps into the divine realm, it takes 24 hours before they can return to their original world."
“That’s right, this is a rule we can’t help but follow.”
“…It’s like begging.”
"what?"
"You're a beggar. Who would feel good about bringing me to a place like this for no reason? Why? Why me of all people!"
Tears began to well up in my eyes. I couldn't quite grasp the meaning of the tears. Resentment? Annoyance? Anger? It was an emotion I couldn't quite grasp myself. What emotions must have been in their eyes as they watched me scream, their eyes bloodshot?
In truth, I didn't care how they viewed me. My rage, my screaming at them, was just a pointless way to vent my anger. For a while, no one spoke. Then, just like before, a man named Park Jimin crouched down and locked eyes with me.
"You were different from other humans. Humans have eyes that sparkle a little bit, right? They say they're full of life. But you... are gray. You don't show any light at all."
“What’s wrong with that…”
"If a person's eyes don't sparkle, it means they have no particular interest in life and don't know why. Right?"
It was accurate. The man named Park Jimin reached out to me, as if he had read my mind before I arrived. Before I entered the divine realm, I was filled with gray, and a tear fell from my eye.
"The reason I brought you here is so you wouldn't be trapped in the gray. High school is supposed to be all about shining."
"Crazy. Park Jimin, are you saying those things?"
“That’s right. That guy who just walks around laughing without thinking…”
“I’m really cool even on a regular basis.”
"Shit."
I think it's time to admit it. I was certainly afraid of them. Perhaps I knew long ago that they weren't human like me. Still, perhaps the reason I was wary of God was because I feared they might notice my grayness, that their colors might blend into mine.
People usually fear gods because they are intangible, invisible, and intangible. I was no exception. But seeing them, gazing at each other with tears streaming down my face, smiling and acting as if nothing had happened, finally puts my mind at ease. I realize I don't need to be so wary of them. I suppress my tense nerves and release the strength I've been holding in my body, and tears stream down my face.
“Uh, uh… hyungs, is he crying more…?”
“A person who knows how to appease people-.”
“There’s no way.”
“…Stop crying. I’m going to suffocate.”
The flustered man had light brown hair, the man who asked if I knew how to comfort him had dark brown hair, the man who sighed deeply had light blue hair, and finally, there was Kim Taehyung. He waved the other six away and knelt before me. Then, he began to wipe away the tears under my eyes with his own hand. I squeezed my eyes shut and shivered under his touch.
“Are you still scared of me?”
“……”
“Or are you just unlucky and don’t want to talk to me?”
I heard a breathless laugh and opened my eyes, meeting his. The cold gaze had vanished, but I was struck by the gentle eyes I'd never seen before, and the corners of his lips curled up, making me feel awkward, so I pushed his shoulder away.
“Why did you save me? I heard you even used your powers…”
"Hey, so God lets humans die? I don't consider that kind of thing to be God."
“…I’m a little grateful that you saved my life. I apologize for calling you unlucky and for calling you the worst.”
"If you're grateful, just be grateful. A little is all. And the apology is fine. I knew you were wary of us, so I did it."
“That’s bad, God.”
I hugged his knees with my arms, following his lead, the corners of my lips slightly curling up. When I smiled and he smiled, our eyes locked on each other.
"When you return to your world, don't try to die so easily like you did before. Even if everything turns gray, don't abandon yourself."
“… Oh, I’ll definitely do that.”
With that one word, my once-gray world began to sparkle. A strange, rumbling feeling in my stomach and a strange, inexplicable feeling of near-tears made my eyes sparkle.
Soon, I realized, upon returning to my original world, that the island I had passed by and those who had passed by me had in the end been nothing more than holding my hand tightly.
We would like to inform you that this article was written by WORTH IT COMPANY KMI.
