The meteor shower continued for a while.
It didn't fall as clearly as the first time, but every now and then, just when we were about to forget it, a thin light flowed from somewhere in the sky. Each time, we looked up without a word. We felt regretful if we missed it, but we could only smile for no reason if we saw it.
Do you remember?
Gunho broke the silence and spoke.
"what."
The one who insisted you had to make three wishes when a meteor falls.
I laughed out of sheer absurdity. It felt as if the tension between us was slowly dissipating.
You did that first.
"I?"
“Yeah. They said it would be a waste to ask for just one, so I told them to think of three in advance.”
Gunho laughed softly.
“That’s why you always wished for weird things.”
“What’s so strange about that? ‘Please make math tests disappear,’ ‘Please don’t let me get caught eating ice cream behind Mom’s back.’ Those were really realistic wishes for that age.”
That is realistic.
We both let out a chuckle.
It was a memory I hadn't brought up for years, but once I actually started talking, it flowed out more easily than I expected. Arguing about how we had memorized the names of constellations differently, how Gunho was more excited than me from dawn on the day we went to the observatory, and how he would silently hand me a piece of his blanket whenever I grumbled about being cold.
You've slept over at my place many times, too.
I said.
That's right.
“Mom even set out your blanket separately. Eventually, it became practically your spot.”
Gunho smiled faintly.
You had bad sleeping habits.
“No, that’s not true. You’re the one who always took my blanket.”
Was that so?
“That’s true. But at some point, he started leaving without sleeping. Mom thought Gunho must be busy these days.”
I looked at Gunho's face only after I finished speaking.
Gunho wasn't smiling. It was for just a brief moment. His expression, which had been relaxed just moments ago, stiffened slightly as if caught on something. It was such a short instant that I wondered if I was seeing things wrong.
Because I'm all grown up.
Gunho said.
It was a slow, nonchalant voice. No, was it a little blunt? It was subtle.
"I can't sleep over at other people's houses every single day."
“I was an elementary school student back then, how can you be so grown up?”
I’ve grown quite a bit.
Gunho said that and looked at the sky again. His expression had quickly returned to normal. I thought it was a little strange, but I didn't bother to ask.
The night air was nice, and we were laughing just moments ago.
Then, at some point, the meteors were no longer visible.
Instead, the city lights began to catch my eye. Apartment windows in the distance, streetlights at the end of alleys, and the yellow light spreading beneath the rooftop railings. I used to think those lights blocked out the stars, but strangely enough, they didn't look bad today.
It's not bad.
I thought that to myself.
I leaned back and placed my palms on the bench. As I supported myself with my arms, the old wood grain brushed roughly against my palms. Cool air brushed past the back of my neck. It was a night without humidity. Neither hot nor cold, a strangely perfect night.
Gunho was still looking at the sky with his head slightly bent forward.
I glanced at his profile. The bridge of his nose slightly blurred by the darkness, his slow eyes gazing at the sky without a word, and even the Adam's apple occasionally rippling. He was clearly different from a few years ago, yet in moments like this, he seemed exactly the same.
It's been a while.
I feel good.
He was about to say those words. Before he could even open his mouth, Gunho's low voice rang out first.
Do you know I did my drama today?
At those words, I felt my excited heart sink.
I calmed down in an instant. No, rather than calming down, I suddenly felt wide awake. I straightened up from where I had leaned back and sat upright. It was only belatedly that I felt the rough texture of the bench lingering on my palms.
I know.
I remember Mom watching everything from the reruns to the original broadcasts. I just got up and headed to my room.
My answer came out shorter than I expected. Soon after, Gunho turned his head and looked at me.
"Did you see that?"
I did not answer.
The night air, which I had thought was perfect just moments ago, seemed to have become strangely lukewarm. Right, my mood soured in an instant.
I haven't seen it.
Gunho said.
I avoided Gunho's gaze and looked straight ahead.
"huh."
"why?"
Annoyance rises at the questions he asks. Is he asking because he doesn't know? Or does he want to hear it even though he already knows? Gunho was sometimes like this. With a look on his face as if he knew the answer perfectly well, he insisted on making me tell him directly.
I pressed my lips firmly once and then released them.
I don't watch your work.
Gunho did not answer immediately.
I disliked the silence, so I deliberately continued speaking a little more curtly.
There is no reason to look.
“…….”
Because I was resentful.
After I spoke, the night air became a little quieter.
I could feel Gunho's gaze. But I kept looking only at the sky. There were hardly any stars to be seen, and no more shooting stars were falling. The city lights, which had been fine just moments ago, began to bother my eyes again.
Much later, Gunho spoke in a low voice.
That makes sense.
Only then did I turn my head. My eyes met Gunho's.
I thought you were joking. I thought you would laugh it off and ask why, if I hated you that much. Or I thought you would lightly brush it off by saying the ratings would be good even if I didn't watch.
However, Gunho did not laugh.
His face was so serious that I was actually left speechless.
I felt like I had become the worse person for no reason. I was the one who said I hadn't seen it, and I was the one who called it insolent, so I couldn't understand why that kid was going so quiet.
I turned my gaze back to the sky. Soon after, I felt Gunho's gaze fall away from me.
No more meteors fell. Just moments ago, a streak of light would appear every now and then, but now only the city lights hung faintly in the sky.
"Do you feel bad?"
I asked.
Gunho stood there for a moment and then shook his head.
"no."
It doesn't look like it.
Gunho's faint laughter was heard, and heavy silence fell again.
That silence felt so cruel. To be precise, I hated that he kept shutting his mouth in the face of something important. It was like that a few years ago, it was like that on this rooftop last time, and it is like that now. The guy who doesn't speak whenever he needs to.
I glared at the back of that black head and slowly ran my palm along the wood grain of the bench. I'll give you one more chance. Before I knew it, my palm was sweating so much that the bench felt damp.
"you."
"……."
"You really didn't intend to tell me back then?"
The question came out calmer than expected.
Gunho did not answer. I felt so stifled watching him stare straight ahead. A short silence settled, feeling as if it were strangling me. I became accustomed to that silence, and ironically, my heart felt even more at ease.
Was he choosing his answer? As I thought that, strangely, I couldn't even laugh. I wanted to get angry, but it felt like it had been too long ago to be angry.
“Geonho.”
I called out quietly. Gunho quietly turned his head again and looked at me.
"Can't you just tell me this time?"
"…."
"You still don't know."
Gunho's gaze dropped downward. His fingertips moved slowly. Like someone choosing their words, or like someone forcing themselves to pull up words they didn't want to say.
I was about to say that it was enough.
I felt like I wouldn't get an answer even if I asked any more. And I felt like I would just be ruining the night that had gotten so good.
However, Gunho spoke first.
There was.
I held my breath.
"…what."
The intention to speak.
Gunho's voice was low. It was slower than a moment ago, and therefore clearer.
For a while, I couldn't understand those words, and I had no clue what to ask. Amidst the rambling answers, I simply waited for the rest.
As if Gunho had noticed that I was waiting, he closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and looked at me again.
I did not avoid that gaze either. Then, Gunho opened his mouth hesitantly. Taking a very brief breath, he continued speaking slowly.
"You were here."
“…….”
Up to your house.
“…….”
The day before moving.
To be continued in the next episode... ^^/
