- The author wrote it while he was a little out of his mind.
- Even the author doesn't know what he's writing.
- The author doesn't even know why he wrote it.
- It's a bunch of clichés.
- Please read it lightly... It's a mess of a piece of writing with little to no plausibility...
- I intentionally left the part where the heroine's original name appears blank. Readers can just insert their own names and read on...
-TRIGGER WARNING! This story is based on an internet novel popular in the early 2010s, so it may contain scenes reminiscent of school violence.
-TRIGGER WARNING! Bloodshed
How to Survive as an Extra
: One day, I became an extra in a novel.
W. Gpeum
I gaped at Kwon Yeon-hee, who was grumbling in front of me, and examined her closely. I knew it was rude, but I couldn't help it. Of course, she was completely different from the person I knew. Her long, flowing black hair, her bangs neatly cut just below her eyebrows, her neat, straight eyebrows, her cat-like, sharply pointed eyes, her sharp nose, her coral-hued cheeks, and even her pretty, rosy lips.
“…No matter how much I look at it, it’s not true?”
"profit…!"
Just looking at her appearance, I couldn't tell. She must be so aggrieved that she didn't recognize me, now she was stamping her feet and swearing. "It's me!" Hearing her voice screaming at me how aggrieved she was was unbelievable. "Hey, if you're going to judge me by my absurdity, I'm the one who's more absurd." I examined Kwon Yeon-hee once more from head to toe, but the only conclusion I could come up with was the same. ... This isn't true, the Kwon Yeon-hee I knew... Even though she muttered something softly, her ears were so perceptive, she stamped her feet again with an expression of extreme indignation. She was angry that I didn't recognize her. And yet, no matter what,
‘He originally had no face…?’
So, since she was a close friend, I also remembered 'Kwon Yeon-hee, Class 4, Year 1, XX High School'. We were in the same class for a whole year, and she was also my closest friend throughout high school, so there was no way I wouldn't remember her. Even so, there was a reason why I didn't even suspect, let alone guess, that the 'Kwon Yeon-hee' in front of me was the same person as 'Kwon Yeon-hee, Class 4, Year 1, XX High School'. First of all, the name itself wasn't that uncommon, and since I'd heard the name 'Yeon-hee' quite a few times in my 24-year life, I just assumed they were different people with the same name. The second reason was because of the external appearance that I explained earlier.
Here, let me briefly describe the appearance of 'XX High School 1st year, class 4 Kwon Yeon-hee'. Her hair was always tied up in a bun, and she had arched eyebrows that matched her gentle expression. Her eyes, nose, and mouth were all round, so she looked incredibly innocent, but her cheeks were chubby. Yes, the exact opposite of the Kwon Yeon-hee in front of me was 'XX High School 1st year, class 4 Kwon Yeon-hee'. Her face definitely resembled a squirrel. Since I like cute things, I had a liking for that face from the beginning, so I remembered it clearly.
I faced Kwon Yeon-hee's face once again. … Unless it was a cat that had swallowed a squirrel in one bite, it was definitely not the Kwon Yeon-hee I knew. I opened my mouth, thinking I'd never believe it was the same person, no matter how many times I examined her.
“…Yeah, let’s say you’re Kwon Yeon-hee…”
"I'm not saying it's true, I'm saying it's true?!"
“No, I don’t recognize you, so what should I do…!”
I felt a little wronged. To this extent, they weren't even similar, they were completely different people...! Anyway, I decided to accept with about 90% certainty that the Kwon Yeon-hee in front of me was my old friend, Kwon Yeon-hee. No matter how I looked at it, that flushed, feverish face didn't seem to be lying.
That didn't mean my questions were completely resolved. If anything, it might have created a few more. I mean, not only was I not able to have a happy reunion with a classmate I hadn't seen in a long time, but he was trying to kill me, and he didn't even tell me why! It defied common sense. It was even more so because we were classmates in my first year of high school, and I had been quite close with him. No matter how much I racked my brain, I couldn't figure out why Kwon Yeon-hee harbored such a grudge against me that she wanted to kill me. Anyway, that aside...
“I called you out because I had something I was curious about, but now that I hear you mention Yeonhee, I’m even more curious.”
"……."
“Why did you do that? What…, is there something you want separately?”
Starting with the school trip, Kwon Yeon-hee continued to bully me relentlessly. It would be a lie to say I wasn't annoyed, but I just endured it, hoping there had to be a reason. Or maybe this was just the plot of the novel. Of course, I didn't expect a plausible explanation, but if Kwon Yeon-hee was the Kwon Yeon-hee I knew, and if she was behaving so differently from the Kwon Yeon-hee I knew, it wouldn't be unreasonable to want to know why. I waited silently for his response. Quite patiently.
“…I did that because I hated you so much, why!!”
I hadn't expected this kind of response to be the price of patience. Kwon Yeon-hee screamed. She was glaring at me, her expression sharp and deadly, so I couldn't quite pull myself together. ... That's why I gave a dumbfounded reply like, "What?" I didn't even feel a twinge of resentment, like, "What did I do?" I heard.
After mumbling for a while, Kwon Yeon-hee opened her mouth. Just like me earlier, she poured out her disorganized words in a hurried, rambling manner. It was the beginning of a long, drawn-out story, and its starting point was a spring day in the year I turned seventeen in real life.
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March 2nd of the year I turned seventeen was a special day. It was the feeling of wearing a new uniform, replacing the one I'd worn for three years. Of course, considering the three years of hell and the night study sessions that lay ahead, it might not have been a particularly exciting experience, but the excitement of a new school was so intense that it made all my worries disappear. My first friend at that school was Kwon Yeon-hee. Kwon Yeon-hee was no exception. Having come from middle schools quite far apart, we'd been separated from all our close friends, so we could empathize with each other's plight, and it was a breeze. Neither of us had the same crazy social skills as Kim Yeo-joo or Lee Yu-jin, but there were plenty of ways to become close, so it wasn't a problem. Anyway, in our first year of high school, Kwon Yeon-hee and I became best friends. For just six months.
I was confident that while I might not be a very good friend, I wasn't a bad one either. Just an average friend. A lukewarm one, but a decent one, someone who could remain a friend for quite some time. That's why, after summer vacation ended and the new second semester began, Kwon Yeon-hee started avoiding me. I couldn't quite remember what I was thinking at the time, seeing her only respond awkwardly when I greeted her, and seeing her casually walk to the cafeteria with her friends during lunch. It was a long time ago, wasn't it? Anyway, just because I was closest to Kwon Yeon-hee didn't mean I'd ruined all my friendships with the others, so I was able to hang out with them quickly. After I started hanging out with the others, Kwon Yeon-hee seemed so comfortable, and I vaguely thought, "Oh, maybe she just didn't fit in with me? Maybe she'd just put up with it all this time..." Yes, that's what I remember.
But when Kwon Yeon-hee's story was included here, it ended up being a completely different story from what I knew.
For example, it was like this. Regarding the reason I had assumed Kwon Yeon-hee and I had grown apart, Kwon Yeon-hee said, "You didn't seem to think of me as a friend. And on top of that, didn't you become closer to your other friends?" Not only that, she even said that I felt left out when I started becoming closer to my other friends. As I listened, I thought... was that me? But as I listened to Kwon Yeon-hee's story, there were more than a few parts that didn't fit together, as if some puzzle piece had been forcibly inserted. It was like how I had become closer to my other friends and become the main culprit in bullying them. I swear I never did that! And as I chewed on those stories, and chewed on them, and chewed on them again and again... there was one sentence that kept repeating itself, to the point where I thought, "...huh?"
“So… you were upset that I was closer to other friends…?”
“…No! It’s completely different!”
“How many times have you said that I was closer to other kids than you… so you felt like I was toying with you?”
"……."
It certainly wasn't the kind of idea a twenty-four-year-old would come up with. It was so childish... Kwon Yeon-hee must have sensed it, too. Her ears turned red, she bit her lip, and then shouted, "Anyway!!" She didn't seem to be finished with the conversation, so I gestured for Kwon Yeon-hee to continue, intending to listen in. The gesture seemed to sting her again, but Kwon Yeon-hee continued speaking with a flushed face. What followed was even more remarkable.
“I… I hate you so much because you’re like that,”
"ok,"
“…So I wrote a novel,”
"…uh?"
Even if you're someone who has absolutely no sense of humor, I believe there's no one who wouldn't vaguely notice the correlation between the "novel" Kwon Yeon-hee was talking about and the current situation. I stared blankly at Kwon Yeon-hee with a rather dumbfounded expression. As I was staring at her with an expression like, "No way...", Kwon Yeon-hee continued. Around her second year of high school, Kwon Yeon-hee heard a story about four high school boys from a close friend. The legendary graduates of XX High School (I grabbed the back of my neck at this part)... The four boys who were all so good that they were really nicknamed F4 (it wasn't my imagination that B4 was a nickname I'd heard a lot). Thanks to an acquaintance, Kwon Yeon-hee saw pictures of those four boys and started writing. The protagonist of this incredibly crude novel is pretty and kind, loved by the four male protagonists, and although she is occasionally hurt by the actions of jealous people, she is also healed in turns by the four male protagonists... This is a story we've all heard, or rather, experienced, many times.
‘… Is this true?’
I knew this novel was a fanfic about the four male protagonists, including Kim Seok-jin (I already laughed hysterically at him and got glared at by him). However, the person who wrote the fanfic was my friend. However, that friend hates me like crazy. To the point where I was thinking of killing him. … Does this make sense? I looked at Kwon Yeon-hee with an expression, but she just stubbornly continued talking. About the past days when she had lost herself in the protagonists and lost herself in her delusions. Since the four male high school students in real life were famous, Kwon Yeon-hee’s novel also became popular, although Kwon Yeon-hee seemed unaware that it had ended up in their hands.
But reality isn't so easy, so even that delusion eventually came to an end, and the story of the novel fading from Kwon Yeon-hee's and my own memories... But if it had ended there, Kwon Yeon-hee and I wouldn't have been here facing each other in the first place, so I silently waited for the rest of the story.
One ordinary day, Kwon Yeon-hee opened that notebook again. What she discovered was quite by accident. It was a memory arm, a memory arm. On that day, after a long time, she took out a novel and, laughing and reading alone, something unbelievable happened. She quickly realized she had opened her eyes to find herself in a novel. After all, she was the author of this novel! Could she have become the protagonist? Kwon Yeon-hee, who had thought it was just a dream, had walked to school with a fluttering heart. And then, Kim Yeo-ju appeared before her. She was the novel's true protagonist.
Kwon Yeon-hee overhauled the novel. It was driven by a desire to try being the protagonist for once. A brilliant idea flashed through Kwon Yeon-hee's mind. Even though the novel was already nearing completion, the author's direct involvement allowed even the world, once so close to completion, to shift effortlessly. Kwon Yeon-hee placed a supporting character named "Kwon Yeon-hee" next to the protagonist, Kim Yeo-ju, who was deeply loved by the four male protagonists. And then, knowingly or unknowingly, she began to gradually transform the novel. From "Kwon Yeon-hee," who was the female protagonist's friend, to "Kwon Yeon-hee," who eventually took the protagonist's place. Everything seemed smooth. That was until a familiar face appeared before Kwon Yeon-hee's eyes. "Yes, that's me. Damn it."
Kwon Yeon-hee began revising the novel again. She filled the role of "Kwon Yeon-hee" with "Kim Yeon-ju" (though somehow Kim Yeo-ju started acting like she was crazy close to her...). The role of "Kwon Yeon-hee" was born again. This time, she was going to take over "Kim Yeon-ju's" place. But things weren't going as planned. Just looking at Kwon Yeon-hee, who was grumbling and glaring at me with resentment, I could easily tell what was going through her mind. "You ruined everything!"
"I just wanted to have what you had."
"……."
"Even so, it's only a novel, but no, I wanted to be better than you, even in a novel. But-"
"……."
"But why are you, in novels, in reality, everywhere! Why! You shine so much brighter than me!"
“Ugh….”
Tears like chicken droppings fell from Kwon Yeon-hee's eyes.
"If it weren't for you, I could have had it all!"
'Without you, I can have it all!'
It seemed as if Kwon Yeon-hee's voice, which I had once heard on the mountain, was overlapping with mine. Feeling a vague sense of unease, I tilted my head back and looked up at the sky, where the sun was beginning to set.
“…What sin did I commit in my past life…,”
"…what?"
"I listened to the story well."
I sat up, my legs starting to lose strength midway through the process. I brushed away the wrinkles in my school uniform skirt and looked at Kwon Yeon-hee, who was still shedding tears, and opened my mouth.
"So, you're saying this is all my fault?"
Kwon Yeon-hee didn't answer. But just looking at her face, her brow furrowed and glaring at me, I knew she'd heard the answer. "It's your fault," she said.
"But isn't this my fault? To be exact, isn't it your fault?"
"...what, what-,"
"I think I know what you think of me. And that it's not a good feeling. But that—"
Aren't they all inferiority complexes anyway?
Kwon Yeon-hee's face, which I thought could no longer be blushed, flushed a deep crimson. That's how I heard it. I quickly realized that Kwon Yeon-hee's words, which at first baffled me, were somehow blaming me. It wasn't hard to discern that it was an inferiority complex. It was even more so because Kwon Yeon-hee herself had said, "Even in a novel, I wanted to be better than you."
“It doesn’t really matter why you wrote the novel, or why you’re harassing me… If you want to blame it on me, then go ahead, I’m going to-, Kyaak-!”
"What? What?! Are you done talking?!"
"Ahhh!! Hey, you, are you crazy...!!"
… But I never imagined that Kwon Yeon-hee, struck by the punchline, would suddenly rip my hair out. Her long, delicate fingers tangled my hair. I screamed in agony as my scalp was literally ripped off. Undeterred, I grabbed Kwon Yeon-hee's fine hair. "Let go!" As if she hadn't heard me, Kwon Yeon-hee continued to whimper, grabbing my hair and tearing it out.
"What do you know! You-!! You have it all, everything!! But what's wrong with taking a little bit of what's yours?! This isn't even real!! What's wrong with that!!"
“Ah! You crazy bitch…! I had everything in the first place! I just lived without any use for it!”
"You have it all! Kim Seokjin, Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook! Even Kim Taehyung! Even Kim Yeoju! They all like you-!! Because you're so great! Because you shine!"
"Ah-, are people objects, you want to have them?!"
"I'll take it, Kim Seokjin, Park Jimin, Jeon Jungkook! Everything you have! I hope you lose it all, just like me…!"
Kwon Yeon-hee's words suddenly stopped. The hand that had been violently grabbing my hair and shaking it also stopped. Someone had firmly grabbed her wrist. As Kwon Yeon-hee's grip gradually lost strength, I threw her hair aside and wrapped my head around it. Damn it, I thought my scalp was going to be ripped off!
"No matter how much or how you torment her, I will never be yours."
Kim Seokjin, his expression furious, wrapped his arms around my shoulders. His hands, untangling my tangled hair, were gentle, but his hardened expression was anything but.
"You, you-!"
I wasn't the only one gaping in bewilderment. While I stared blankly at Kim Seokjin's stern face, Kwon Yeonhee pointed at me with an outstretched finger and continued to spout off the same words.
“I, I told you to come alone…!”
That was true, but I didn't know Kim Seokjin would sneak up on me. When I shrugged my shoulders as if I didn't know anything, Kwon Yeonhee wheezed and looked at me as if she was about to pounce. She looked intensely heated. Her lips trembled as if trying to say something, but the only thing that escaped was a ragged breath. Before she could even form a single word, Kim Seokjin spoke first. Kwon Yeonhee's face began to turn pale at Kim Seokjin's words, which were still as cold as before.
“…You’re trying to kill someone for just that reason? Are you out of your mind?”
"I didn't mean to kill you, Seokjin, that's-"
"I've already heard everything that came out of your mouth. I already know what you did to Kim Yeon-ju. There's no use in trying to hide it-"
“…I didn’t mean to kill you!!”
Kwon Yeon-hee's scream cut off Kim Seok-jin's words. Her voice sounded urgent, almost desperate. With a trembling voice, Kwon Yeon-hee stammered, "I didn't mean to kill you…"
“…I just wanted to send it back, to its original world….”
"By killing people? Do you think that's the reason?"
"Seriously! If I die here, I can wake up in reality…!"
"Are you sure? How?"
"that…,"
"How can you be so sure?" Kim Seokjin asked. Kwon Yeonhee flinched repeatedly at his low voice. "That's, that's..." Kim Seokjin stared coldly at Kwon Yeonhee, who couldn't give a clear answer and just moved her lips. This was the first time I'd seen Kim Seokjin this angry, so I couldn't easily open my mouth or take any action like grabbing him. I knew better than anyone how ridiculous Kwon Yeonhee's actions and words were. However, Kim Seokjin's subsequent actions forced me to move my frozen body. With a scream.
Until Kim Seok-jin slowly bent down, picked up something, and cut my palm, I was just watching the confrontation between Kwon Yeon-hee and Kim Seok-jin in a daze. However, I couldn't do that when Kim Seok-jin, who had a sharp piece of glass rolling on the floor, deeply scratched my palm with it. A bright red drop of blood fell from the crack in my flesh.
“…Hey!! Are you crazy?!”
With a horrified scream, I grabbed Kim Seokjin's hand. I knocked the hand holding the glass shards away, then pressed my sleeve against the wound, which continued to spurt blood, trying to stop the bleeding. All the while, Kim Seokjin's gaze remained fixed on Kwon Yeonhee. Perhaps shocked by Kim Seokjin's actions, Kwon Yeonhee's face paled even more, unable to do anything but absorb Kim Seokjin's cold gaze with her entire body.
“…Do you think this is just a dream? Even so, can you be sure that if you die, you will be able to return to your original world?”
Kwon Yeon-hee remained silent. Kim Seok-jin stared at Kwon Yeon-hee, her mouth clenched tightly like a clam, without answering my question. He then removed my hand from around my wound. The emotions embedded in the words "let's go" were by no means light. Unable to say anything more to Kwon Yeon-hee, I had no choice but to follow Kim Seok-jin.
It was the worst day ever.
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Kim Seokjin's palm required seven stitches, a cut so deep it was cut by a tiny shard of glass. As I sat quietly in a chair in the hospital hallway, a bandaged hand came into view.
"…let's go."
"……."
An awkward silence was all we had. All the way home, Kim Seokjin said nothing, and I continued to stare at his bandaged hand as I walked. It wasn't just because I was "worried." It might sound silly, but it was because I finally understood what Kim Seokjin had said to me earlier after this incident. Why was I so sensitive to getting hurt? Why was I so angry at Kwon Yeonhee for simply observing her actions without intervening?
He, with his intelligence, must have already known. He must have harbored a nagging suspicion that this novel's world might not be one we can easily escape from like a dream we dream at night. Perhaps it began on the day of the sports day. Only now do I remember Kim Seok-jin, who stared at the wound on my leg, a strange expression on his face, from rolling on the ground while subbing in for the relay. Is death the end? But in this world, we eat, sleep, bleed, get hurt, and the healing process is frighteningly slow, just like in real life. When I close my eyes in death in a novel, won't I be closing my eyes in reality, but will my real self be closing its eyes as well? My complacent thought, "This is like a dream. Dying will be just like waking up," was incredibly naive.
Kim Seokjin walked me home without saying a word. "Go in." He simply muttered those words without further comment, then turned around. I leaned against his back and blurted out the words I'd been thinking about all the way home. It wasn't a word of understanding, or an apology.
"It was dangerous."
"……."
"Don't do that again."
Kim Seokjin stopped walking. He didn't immediately turn around, but instead stared straight ahead, his body still fixed on the direction he'd been heading. With brisk strides, he quickly approached me on his long legs and grabbed my shoulder. My gaze automatically turned to his injured hand, worried it might hurt, so I didn't notice the contorted expression on his face.
“…Is it dangerous? Do you know it’s dangerous?”
"……."
“Please, please do it yourself first…! You should avoid dangerous situations first, please….”
"……."
“Today, too, when I heard that you were meeting Kwon Yeon-hee alone, how much….”
Kim Seokjin collapsed. Naturally, I had no choice but to crouch down beside him. Tears began to fall from his eyes. "Oh my, if I'd known a single word could have such consequences, I should've been more careful." I clumsily patted Kim Seokjin's shoulder. It felt like a piece of the puzzle I'd been struggling to put together was finally falling into place.
"i like you…."
"I like you, that's why. I care more because I like you." Kim Seokjin's words, choked with tears, made my ears heat up. Without saying anything, I continued patting his shoulder.
I felt it was too heavy for friendship. It was too obvious to ignore. I felt too uncertain to answer. My sobbing grew louder. I couldn't say anything.
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