School time has come around again. After I put on my uniform and packed my bag, I headed to the room next door. He’d follow me around anyway, so this time I should be the one to take him out first. Just as I was about to knock, my hand stopped.
I’d been held by Hamin. Right now, in this room I was about to knock on, too—in bed, of all places.
Hamin had pulled me into his sturdy arms, and I hadn’t pushed him away. Ever since that day, whenever we ran into each other over the weekend, I kept thinking of that touch.
If it had been before, I would’ve avoided him somehow. Like going to school twenty minutes early, or making plans. Whenever Hamin showed even the slightest sign that he liked me, I’d run to my room, or look away for no reason, or make sure we weren’t left alone together.
But now I didn’t really want to avoid him. Even though whenever we met, my body would go stiff, I couldn’t speak properly, and one side of my chest kept itching.
I just wanted to be next to him. Being beside him, feeling like I was floating, felt really good.
Hah, I guess I really do like him now. Admitting it made me feel better, somehow.
After hesitating for a moment, I yanked the door open.
“Yoo Hamin. Let’s go to school.”
Hamin, who had been sitting on the bed, looked up.
A flash of surprise crossed his face when he saw me.
“What, what is it.”
Hamin looked at me for a moment, then snorted a laugh.
“Nothing.”
“What do you mean, ‘nothing’?”
“I thought you’d avoid me.”
So he’d already noticed that I’d been avoiding him whenever there was even a little trouble. Feeling awkward, I just fidgeted with my bag strap.
“Come out already so we can get to school.”
“Then get out.”
“Why?”
Hamin kept sitting on the bed, staring blankly up at me. I had no idea what he meant either, so I just stared back blankly.
“Then I’m changing now.”
Then he grabbed the hem of the T-shirt he was wearing and flipped it up in one motion.
“Kyaaah!”
I slammed the door shut on reflex.
Only after I’d shut it hard enough to make a bang did the image I’d just seen flash back in front of my eyes.
He hadn’t stripped down completely. The shirt hadn’t even come up to his chest. Just a little bit of his stomach had been exposed.
And yet his sharply defined abs burned into my eyes. I covered my hot face with both hands.
“I must be crazy, seriously.”
I could hear Hamin laughing softly on the other side of the door.
*
After that, going to school together became normal. Well, it wasn’t like we’d gone separately all that often before, either.
We’d walk side by side to school, and when we headed off to our different classrooms, we’d wave goodbye. On days when our classes ended around the same time, we’d go home together. By now, it felt pretty natural.
Hamin seemed used to it too. At first this kid would whine like a puppy, begging me to go with him, or wait for me. These days he just stands beside me like it’s obvious.
Has he gotten a little too full of himself?
Somehow, he’d also been coming on to me a lot less. I started wondering if this was really the same guy who barged into my room without permission as soon as he got to Korea, asked if I still liked Yejun, and even after I told him to keep his distance, waited around for an hour and insisted on walking home with me.
And last week he even hugged me out of nowhere!
Why isn’t he hitting on me anymore?
What if he didn’t like me as much as I thought.
I kept having that thought even during class.
The teacher was writing something on the board, but I couldn’t focus on it. I rested my chin in my hand and looked out the window, where students were having PE on the field. It was Hamin’s class.
So this was first-year gym class. Even from far away, Hamin stood out right away. He was running across the field, passing the ball around with his friends.
He brushed back his bangs that had fallen to one side, and laughed when a friend said something.
He’s doing well. It looked like he’d already made quite a few friends, even though he’d only transferred not long ago. My hand tightened. I pressed the tip of my pen hard into the corner of my notebook.
Was he clinging to me more before because he had no friends? Liking me was something from the past. Now that I think about it, he only confessed directly once, right? Maybe now I’m just like an old noona he hasn’t seen in a while… .
Thinking that made me feel weird.
I was the one who’d avoided him first, but once Hamin wasn’t doing anything, I started to feel annoyed for no reason.
Tsk.
So irritating.
I tore my gaze away from the window and looked back at the board.
I decided not to think about it anymore.
*
Even at home, things had changed from before. I started going into Hamin’s room more often than before. The reason was just because I was bored.
If Hamin was sitting at his desk, I’d lie on his bed and look at my phone, or spend time without saying much while hugging a cushion.
The first few times, Hamin left me alone without saying anything, but one day he finally asked.
“Why do you come here so often lately?”
I was lying face-down on the bed, and answered without even taking my eyes off my phone.
“Nothing.”
“You’ve got your own room, noona.”
“My room and yours have a different vibe, too.”
“…….”
“It feels more comfortable, somehow?”
“…….”
“Honestly, I’m just bored.”
I answered casually while watching YouTube, and Hamin didn’t ask any more. He turned back to his chair and seemed to go back to reading a book or looking at his phone.
I glanced at his back.
He really doesn’t care at all.
I buried my face in the cushion for no reason.
*
One day, Hamin said he was coming home after having dinner with his friends. Wow, so he did have friends. I thought he only hung out at school. Had I been thinking of him as too much of a loner?
With those thoughts in mind, I ate dinner with just Mom and Dad for the first time in a while, with no outsiders. After finishing, I went up to my room and then straight into the shower.
But when I came out after washing, my pajamas were nowhere to be seen.
Even the laundry basket was empty.
“Mom! Where are my pajamas?”
Mom’s voice came from far away.
“I washed them all, didn’t I?”
“Then what am I supposed to wear?”
“Just wear a T-shirt to bed!”
How cold can you get! I only sleep in pajamas… . T-shirts stick to everything and are uncomfortable to sleep in.
Muttering to myself, I put on the clothes I’d been wearing before showering and trudged to my room, drying my hair with a towel. That was when I noticed Hamin’s door, shut tight.
Come to think of it, he has a lot of T-shirts. They’re bigger than mine, so they’d be perfect to sleep in. As pajamas.
I carefully opened Hamin’s door and went inside. A black T-shirt folded beside the bed caught my eye. He seems to have like five of these. Is he some sort of one-outfit gentleman? One should be fine, right...? It feels like it’ll be a long way before he comes in, so I should hurry and change.
I quickly took off the gross clothes and changed into Hamin’s T-shirt. The hem fell to my thighs. It was even bigger than I expected. It was almost enough to make the shorts I was wearing underneath disappear. Still, it would be perfect as pajamas.
Humming under my breath, I folded my clothes and headed for my room. Ah, but is this kind of like stealing…? If he found out I’d come into his room and borrowed it without asking, even Yoo Hamin would probably feel a little off, or get annoyed.
Right, I’ll explain right away. Still, better than just wearing it without permission—I should tell him as soon as he gets back. After tossing my clothes into the laundry basket, I lay down on Hamin’s bed.
I waited as usual, looking at my phone, when much later I heard the front door open. Huh, he’s back? I sat up groggily and heard his voice talking briefly with Mom.
“I’m home.”
“Hamin’s back? Did you eat dinner?”
“Yes.”
I heard his voice having a short conversation with Mom.
Footsteps drew closer to the door, and soon it opened.
Hamin stood in the doorway and looked down at me, lying on the bed.
“You’re back?”
As I started to sit up, I finally looked at myself.
A loose T-shirt and short shorts. Sitting down made the shorts almost invisible under the shirt.
Uh-oh.
Was I too unaware of myself?
I awkwardly laughed and tugged up the hem of my shirt. It was a silent gesture to show that I was wearing shorts underneath.
“Ahaha.”
Hamin looked pretty surprised. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen him make that dumbfounded face…. No, I shouldn’t be thinking about that right now.
“I-I didn’t have any pajamas.”
“…….”
“I remembered you had T-shirts, so I borrowed one. Somehow it felt like I was stealing.”
“…….”
“I was waiting for you.”
Hamin’s gaze slowly dropped. It lingered on the T-shirt I was wearing for a moment, then rose back to my face.
Was he mad? Was he annoyed that I’d taken his clothes without asking?
I’d said what I needed to say, so I should probably leave now. He looked kind of upset, too.
“Haha, anyway, I told you, so I’m going to….”
I got down from the bed and tried to sneak past Hamin. Then I heard his low voice. It was murmured, so I couldn’t hear it well.
“Wearing my clothes.”
“…….”
“While waiting for me in my room.”
“Huh?”
As I stopped walking because I hadn’t heard properly and tried to turn back to look at Hamin—
“What did you say?”
“You keep coming into my room so carelessly.”
Hamin’s arm passed right beside my face.
Clack… The door shut. I had no choice but to freeze in place. Was he angry…? Over one T-shirt?!
I was instantly at a loss for words. I couldn’t turn my head any further. Since I didn’t say anything, a low growling voice rumbled from right behind me.
“I still like you, noona.”
His low voice went on.
“Did you forget that?”
“Gasp.”
There was irritation in his voice. He wasn’t mad because I’d stolen his clothes without permission. Right now. He was complaining to me. About how I was confusing him when I didn’t even like him back. That was why he was annoyed.
Hamin was probably pretty irritated, but my heart started pounding with joy. I thought you didn’t like me anymore. The fact that he was reacting like this made my heart race.
Unaware of that, Hamin’s voice was lower than usual.
“My clothes….”
Hamin reached out and touched the hem of the T-shirt I was wearing. When his hand lightly brushed my bare thigh, I flinched.
Don’t tell me he’s trying to take my clothes off?! No way! I jumped and shrank back, calling out to Hamin.
“Hey…!”
Unlike I expected—or rather, as was obvious—Hamin didn’t take my clothes off. Instead, he grabbed my shoulder and turned me toward him. My body spun lightly, whoosh.
When I lifted my head, Hamin was right in front of me. He was staring down at me with his lips pressed tightly together, and he looked pretty off-kilter. Heh, so he really was annoyed because of me. More than liking me, for a moment. I realized what I’d been mistaken about and broke out in a cold sweat. It was embarrassing, and a little sorry, too.
“I-I guess I was being a little thoughtless. In a guy’s room….”
“Yeah.”
“Ha, haha….”
I tried to laugh it off, but Hamin’s expression didn’t soften. He looked displeased, glanced between my face and the T-shirt, then opened his mouth.
“You turn down my confession, and yet….”
“T-that was back then…!”
“…….”
“Back then I liked Yejun….”
Hamin just stared at me quietly. My face was red too as I looked back at him. My face feels incredibly red right now. If not, none of this makes sense. My face getting this hot, and Hamin’s expression softening quite a bit when he saw it. Hamin, who had been looking straight into my eyes, opened his mouth.
“Then what about now?”
Hamin tilted his head slightly and asked me. Too close…! Is he not aware of it himself? With this face-to-face assault, Hamin’s scent filled the room, and the fabric softener smell from the T-shirt I was wearing kept rising up around me. It was so dizzying I could hardly think straight. My heart was pounding hard.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
I swallowed dryly and opened my mouth. For some reason, my voice seemed to tremble a little.
“Now….”
“…….”
“I don’t like him.”
“…….”
“Yejun.”
Hamin’s eyes wavered slightly. The way his mouth had fallen open seemed to show just how surprised he was.
“Then,”
Hamin seemed about to say something, but I hurriedly cut him off. I’ll say the words you want to hear. So don’t think weird thoughts.
“Right now.”
“…….”
“……you’re the one I’m worried about.”
