44 | A Glimpse of Hope
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Seo-a's attending physician examined her condition based on my words. I pinned a glimmer of hope on the finger that had moved. It was my only hope. However, the doctor's words shattered that hope, turning it into despair.
It’s just a temporary movement; it doesn’t mean they’ve regained consciousness or anything.
“…So, are you saying that we still don’t know when they will wake up?”
“I’m sorry, but… that’s the case.”
Did my patients feel this way too? I’ve said this many times myself; I know it, yet I wonder why I never considered it. It was so heartbreaking to realize that, despite being a doctor, I feel so infinitely small in front of my patient, Seo-a.
I waited for days and nights for Seo-ah to wake up. However, Seo-ah showed absolutely no signs of opening her eyes. I put thoughts of Seo-ah aside for a moment and went into surgery. Fortunately, my surgery went well, and when I returned to my room, I saw a lot of missed calls on my phone.
All the missed calls were from the hospital where Seo-ah was. However, quite a bit of time had passed because the surgery had taken a little longer than expected. Hoping that Seo-ah had woken up, I called back. The ringing was short, but to me it felt long; after that ringing, the phone finally came through. I spoke in an expectant voice.
“Seo-ah, Seo-ah, are you awake?”
"… no."
The voice that sounded like a nurse paused for a moment before answering no. Unless Seo-ah had woken up, there was no way she would have called so often. My heart, which had been racing with excitement, gradually turned to tension. Surely not... I thought. I wanted to believe it wasn't true.
“… It’s not wrong, is it?”
It’s not wrong, but…”
The nurse hesitated again. That time was agonizing for me. I couldn't understand what on earth had happened to Seo-ah, or why she was dragging her feet like this. If she hadn't woken up or something was wrong, there would be no reason to call.
“What is it? Was there… a problem?”
I went into cardiac arrest along with a seizure.
*Arrest: Cardiac arrest
“Arrest? You mean cardiac arrest, right?”
Yes, I urgently performed CPR.
"Fortunately, he returned... but his condition is a bit serious."