(two)
I felt a tightness in my chest.
Surely I got what I wanted.
And yet, for some reason, I felt like there was something bothering me.
the next day
Ah Won acted as if nothing had happened.
I went about my daily life just like yesterday.
On the surface, nothing seemed to change.
But only on the surface.
On this day, Ah Won finally realized.
My body is no longer the same as it used to be.
"Awon-san, you seem a little unwell today?"
"Huh? Does it look like that...?"
"Yes, very much..."
"It's okay, Deputy. Thank you for your concern."
Ah Won once again pretended to be fine.
Once again, I hid my pain in public.
One day, as I continued to live with this pain,
An emergency call came in from the hospital.
"Hello? Is this Gil Ah Won's cell phone?"
"Yes, I'm Gil Ah Won."
"I need you to come to the hospital as soon as possible."
"Are you visiting the hospital?"
"Yes, there is something I need you to decide on quickly."
"Okay, I'd like to make an appointment for tomorrow at 1pm. I'll be there then."
"Understood. I'll be waiting for you at that time."
"Yes, please."
Ah Won instinctively realized this.
--that your life is heading towards an even worse ending.
There was less than an hour left until my appointment at the hospital.
Ah Wong thought about it again and again.
Because nothing good had ever happened in my life until now.
"I'm sure it will happen again this time..."
"Mr. Gil Ah-won, please come to the examination room."
"……yes"
Awon's voice today was not as cheerful as usual.
It wasn't that "act" of assuming a cheerful attitude despite the situation.
"Did you have much pain yesterday?"
"……yes"
It was a lie that came out like a catchphrase.
"Awon-san, you lie every time you come here."
It was a sharp remark that pierced the depths of my heart.
"……lie?"
"Yes. If you continue to act tough like that, please don't come to the hospital.
This is not the place to hide your pain."
To the wounded Awon,
The words soaked in gently like a band-aid.
"...The truth is, it was extremely painful."
"That's fine. Please continue to be honest with me."
The doctor said, smiling gently.
"So... why did you call me here today?"
With anxiety and determination, Ah Wong mustered up the courage to ask.
The doctor began to speak in a serious tone.
"We've finally found a cure for Awong's illness."
"...Huh?!"
That was unbelievable news.
Sloak is an incurable disease for which no cure has been found even after decades.
"There's no medicine available, so I have no choice but to take my current medicine properly."
Because that's what has been said so many times.
"But there are some big problems."
Ah Won focused instantly.
"This drug has not yet been used by anyone in Korea.
It is already being used overseas, but has very strong side effects.
The medicine is also very powerful.
But it definitely has an effect.”
The words "major side effects"
It felt like my growing hopes had suddenly deflated.
"So we only go ahead with this treatment if the patient wants it."
I should have already accepted that I had only a little time left to live.
But why does my heart waver?
Why do I still have so much regret about life?
Pull yourself together, Gil Ah Won.
Isn't this what you wanted?
"I don't think it's an easy decision to make.
Please think it over and come back next week at the same time."
"……thank you"
With wavering feelings,
Ah Wong left the examination room.
Should I continue living an empty life?
Will it all come to an end?
And then she—she began to move.
Ah-won rushed out of the hospital.
Among the people passing by, she finds her ideal "type."
"Excuse me, this is our first meeting...
Do you think it would be better for me to die?"
(to be continued)