Jeon Jungkook, the punk who came to ruin me
For the first time in a while, I got to school early. I was usually the type to wake up early, often because of my mom's nagging, but I left home even earlier. Last night, after hearing that from my mom, I felt suffocated. Home was such a suffocating place for me, that even school made me want to run away.
At 7 a.m., school is chilly and lacks warmth. Perhaps it's even more so because it's my school. I passed through the school's deserted main gate, walked down the hallway, and creaked open the classroom door. The classroom itself was empty, with only dust billowing. It was strange to have people around at this hour. I put my bag down and sat down on the cold chair. The chair, so cold it made my butt ache, made me feel strangely lonely.
“Should I listen to some music?”
I took out the earphones that always stayed in my coat pocket. I connected them to my phone and inserted them deep into my ears. Then I went to my playlist and played my favorite songs.
‘If only you had wrapped your arms around my shoulders warmly then,’
‘I don’t think I would have hated you this much.’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lonely.’
I loved the melody, the mood, everything about that song, but what I loved most were those heartbreaking lyrics. My world had been like this since I was young, so naturally, I was lonely. Without true friends or family, I was now a child filled with nothing but loneliness.
Come to think of it, what I'm doing now seems pointless. What if I achieve the freedom I so desperately desire? Wouldn't I be even lonelier after that?
“Oh, why am I like this…”
Tears welled up in my eyes. "Plop, thud." A few teardrops fell from my eyes, leaving a trail on the desk. Then, I sensed a presence in the hallway, which should have been empty at this hour. With a rustling sound, I turned my head toward the back door.
“Why are you crying?”
It's Jeon Jungkook. His bag slung over one shoulder, his shirt unbuttoned. How can he look so consistent even on his way to school? I laughed at Jeon Jungkook's appearance. Just moments ago, I was shedding tears.
“Either cry or laugh, just do one of the two.”
“You came all of a sudden and that’s why.”
“Then go again?”
“No, it’s here.”
Jeon Jungkook tugged at the earphones in my ears with his hands and muttered something. His lips slightly lifted, causing me to raise my own. He sat down next to me, turned toward me, and ran his index finger under my eye. Then, he stared at me intently with his signature gentle gaze and smile.
“What’s going on?”
"I don't know, I just started crying."
It's a lie. The loneliness that had been building up inside me just burst out. It was pointless to be Jeon Jungkook's final target, and to be with him like this. Our eyes met in mid-air. The moment our eyes met, a thought flashed through my mind.
What happens when the negotiations with Jeon Jungkook end? After I become Jeon Jungkook's final target, as promised, and find complete freedom? Can Jeon Jungkook and I still be together after that…?
"Our heroine, you've been lying more and more. Your head still seems to be thinking too much, doesn't it?"
Jeon Jungkook still sees through me. I don't know why, but I thought again. If this negotiation ends and I'm nothing to Jeon Jungkook…
“…Jeon Jungkook, can I ask you something?”
"huh."
“Can we go back to before we negotiated?”
I'd rather give up my freedom. It'd be far better to be nothing than to be nothing to Jeon Jungkook. It seemed inevitable that his expression would harden at my question. Jeon Jungkook's expression stiffened slightly before he smiled again.
“If I said that was possible, would your answer change?”
“…I don’t know.”
"Let me ask you one thing. Why are you asking me that out of the blue?"
“I want to quit.”
The surroundings were starting to get noisy. The presence of children heading to school meant a large crowd was about to arrive. I lowered my head, and Jeon Jungkook remained silent, neither saying a word nor moving.
Just then, a commotion echoed through the hallway, and the classroom door creaked open. A few students entered the classroom, one by one, and my gaze naturally turned toward the source of the noise.
“Hey, heroine. You’re early again?”
“Uh, uh… You don’t know either,”
After my last outburst in class, some kids disliked me, but others actually liked me. The one who greeted me was one of them, and just as I was about to wave, Jeon Jungkook pulled his chair out and stood up. Then, he grabbed my wrist tightly and led me somewhere.
“Hey, Jeon Jungkook! Where are you going!”
”……“
“Let go of this…!”
I was drawn to Jeon Jungkook's strength and followed him, and Jeon Jungkook took me somewhere without even looking back, as if he didn't even notice me screaming.
The place Jeon Jungkook brought me was behind the school. It was a place where students, teachers, and people were hesitant to show up. I still didn't know what Jeon Jungkook was thinking, and I couldn't figure out why he'd dragged me out now.
"it hurts."
After a long silence, I spoke. Jeon Jungkook probably didn't notice. My slender wrist, which he had grabbed without thinking, had turned bright red. Only when I said it hurt did he realize, as if he'd realized it, and let go.
“I’m sorry, did it hurt a lot?”
“Honestly, a bit much?”
I just wanted this awkward atmosphere to ease. I was definitely the one who started this strange atmosphere, but it was also made worse by Jeon Jungkook dragging me along without a second thought. I smiled at Jeon Jungkook, saying I was in a lot of pain, and he patted my head a couple of times.
Jeon Jungkook's touch always felt good. It was also a bit odd that he often wanted me to pet him, as if I were a dog. Just when I felt a little perverted, my face flushed.
“Seeing things like this doesn’t seem to make me hate you…”
"uh?"
“That was a lie earlier.”
I knew exactly what Jeon Jungkook meant by that. And how did he know it was a lie? Jeon Jungkook seemed truly remarkable in so many ways. I kept my mouth shut in front of him again.
“I don’t like to talk too much, lady.”
“……”
“I’m going to ask you one last time, and whether you lie or not, I’ll do whatever you say.”
“……”
“Kim Yeo-ju, do you really want me to stop?”
Jeon Jungkook was really too much. He probably knew that if he said that, I would definitely tell him the truth and burst into tears.
