Jeon Jungkook, the punk who came to ruin me
It was the first rain since I started seeing Jeon Jungkook. It was pouring down so hard it was almost unbelievable, and the weather was so bad it was pitch dark even at midday. I don't particularly like rainy days. On days like this, when the weather is so bad, something is bound to happen.
“…Can you stop staring?”
First of all, the problem is Jeon Jungkook, who sits next to me, chin tilted, and stares intently at me. From the moment I arrive at school, he's been staring at me like that throughout class, break, and lunch. It's not only burdensome, but it's also nerve-wracking, making me constantly self-conscious.
With the midterm exam fast approaching, I closed the workbook I was working on and glared at Jeon Jungkook. What on earth was there to see that made him look at it like that… I couldn’t understand.
“Then it must be a bit pretty.”
Jeon Jungkook, who hadn't stopped staring at me, only slightly raised the corners of his mouth, blurted out an incongruous remark. It might not seem like much, but I seem to really enjoy such words. My cheeks instantly heated up, a bright red blush spreading across them.
"I guess our heroine is a strawberry princess. How come her face turns bright red every single day?"
“What, what are you talking about! This sly bastard…”
“Why are you like that when you like me-”
I couldn't argue. How could he say such things so casually? Jeon Jungkook was such a sly, truly strange guy. Well, I also found it strange that I liked him so much.
“Jeon Jungkook, why do you like me?”
“Because I’m not happy.”
It was a question that suddenly filled my mind. Jeon Jungkook had clearly suggested I be his final target, and at the same time, he'd said he liked me. But I hadn't heard why. No, to be precise, I couldn't understand it.
The very fact that he said he liked me felt a bit odd, since he wasn't happy. Honestly, anyone but me would have frowned. When I tilted my head, Jeon Jungkook looked me straight in the eye.
“If you keep going like that, you’ll probably break down in an instant.”
The moment I heard those words, a strange, inexplicable emotion welled up in me. I knew it. I, too, thought it wouldn't be strange if I continued living like this, even if I died. Perhaps I had hoped for someone to recognize my former self. Perhaps I had hoped, and hoped, for someone like Jeon Jungkook.
“Is this the answer?”
“… A lot.”
“That’s fortunate.”
“I think I like you more than I thought.”
I closed my eyes, feeling a sense of relief as Jeon Jungkook gently stroked my hairline with one hand. A warm, smooth sensation touched my lips, along with the sincerity that had involuntarily spilled out. And I instinctively knew they were Jeon Jungkook's lips.
"Please continue to love me like that. Don't even think about running away. I'll love you more than anyone else."
I felt a brief regret at the passing lips, but when I opened my eyes, I smiled brightly at the sight of Jeon Jungkook's face and the sweet words he spoke. But the rain was still pitter-pattering outside the window. It was unsettling.
My premonitions are rarely wrong. Especially on days when the rain is pouring down. As usual, I spent the day with Jeon Jungkook, and late at night, I dialed the front door code. Thump, thump, tirring. As soon as I opened the door and stepped inside, my breath caught in my throat. I quickly took off my shoes and crossed the dark, spacious living room into my room.
“Ha… I really hate it……”
He muttered at a volume only I could hear. This space, which should have been more comfortable and pleasant than any other, was more than just unpleasant; it was disgusting and suffocating. As I tossed my bag down on the desk, the phone began to ring as if it had been waiting for it. It was Jeon Jungkook.
Just seeing Jeon Jungkook's name on the screen made me feel better, and just as I was about to answer the phone, the door swung open. Startled, my grip on the phone loosened, and before me stood the terrifying presence of my mother.
“Oh, you didn’t sleep…?”
My fists clenched tightly, shaking, and my voice trembled as well. I bit my lip, feeling as if my entire body would soon tremble.
"The exam is coming up soon. Why are you home so early? You know I need to work even harder at times like this."
“It rained so much today… Starting tomorrow, we’ll be working even later.”
“Can I trust you?”
“…Of course.”
My mother's casual remarks to me felt like they were thorns. It was a creepy feeling, like she knew something and was testing me. My mother, who had been standing still with her arms crossed, released her grip, picked up my phone from the ground, and handed it to me.
“The way to protect something precious is to never let it near you.”
When I handed her the phone, my mother didn't relax her grip. Instead, she tightened her grip, met my eyes, and with a slight smile, spoke meaningfully to me. Her appearance was almost devilish.
“This is a sentence from a book I read today. What do you think?”
“… Well, I don’t know.”
"Know that in order to protect something precious to you, whether it be a person or an object, you must keep it far away from you."
“……”
“Otherwise, you never know when it might break.”
It was a warning of sorts. Not only does Mom know what I'm up to, but she also knows who's around me. If Mom knows about Jeon Jungkook's existence... it means he's in danger. She's giving me the opportunity to take control of Jeon Jungkook.
The taste of blood lingered in my mouth. I must have bitten my lip and the inside of my mouth so hard that I couldn't see it, but it felt like bright red blood was flowing. Silence filled my eyes, and my mother's eyes met mine once more. Her eyes were captivating, almost as if they could draw me in.
If I couldn't find complete freedom no matter how hard I struggled, if I couldn't escape this place even if it meant dying, then I had to get Jeon Jungkook out of here. I had to get him far away from me, the person who had stepped into my life. That way, he would be safe.
“One day is enough, just tomorrow.”
I decided to send Jeon Jungkook out of my life. I did it while desperately rubbing the tears that were falling from my eyes with my palms.
