"You're really doing this?for him,"my room mate, Eunbi asked as I hang the palaroids I took with him with strings.
"ya,he's my boyfriend,"I replied.
"still,he didn't text you for nearly a month,"she continued.
"Not to worry he loves the sea and suprises,he'll come once I tell him about it,"I exclaimed excitedly.
"you sure you're okey?he literally didn't tell you why he hasn't text you,"she said worried.
"Not even a 'good night'?he must be 'really busy',"she said,sarcastically.
"I've told you a thousand times, I'm busy with my career and he's busy with his in the city,"I explained.
"why are you even worried for me?I didn't ask you to be worried,"I chuckeld
"Ya,be grateful someone is worried,if I dont care, who will,"she said while leaving.
"ya!My boyfriend worries for me!BOYFRIEND!"I shouted with a smile as she goes down.
"you're coming right?you always do,"I said as I wipe his photo.
"Should I call him?"I thought.nah,I'll just call him when its late.
I fell asleep waiting for him but the heat woke me up.It was 4 am,he read everything but why didn't he come?He could've replied atleast!why am I getting so worked up by this,I'll just call him, he has his reasons. I called him multiple times and something dreadful and unbareable happened.At the same time the candles burned out,my phone slipped out of my hand and I dropped to the floor.I looked at all the pictures we took together.Taking the first picture we took together,during graduation,the day he confessed his feeling with the cutest smile. How could he have done this,I thought.The guy with the goofy and innocent smile,the guy who stayed busy with an excuse of working for our future,the guy who confessed his love with a cute pink sticky note during graduation,he did that.I felt wronged I'm the one who plan all the dates from lunch to movies I'm the one who stays up late at night incase he could find time to text me. I lied down on the floor so I could avoid seeing the beautiful, yet painful memories held in all the picture.
My heart started to feel pain,my face started to burn and tears started to well up.My body was trembling and tears started to stream down,I feel stupid crying because of a man.I looked at the picture of us in my hand"why did you do that?"I said looking at his photo,
"you broke the promise,"I continued as I recall the time we spend the night together before he leaves for the city.
He knew a long distance relationship was hard and he promise to come when I wish to meet."I could've forgive you,if you tell me an excuse,"I continued.
I was sobbing.As my tears blurred my vision,I held the picture to my chest and fell asleep,biting my lips, to stop my irritating sobs.
"Y/n,you're still here?"I heard Eunbi's voice.
"why are you there?on the floor and you're alone?"she asked.
"y/n maybe you should wash up and we could get something to eat,"she continued trying to carry me off the floor.
"that jerk!"she said after taking my phone."y/n just ignore that,"she said.
"why did he do that he didn't even replied,then he blocked me!he didn't even come to this ugly and horrible dinner date!"I said irritated.
"thats right let it all out"she interupt patting my back.As I stood up I saw his pictures I saw that innocent face of his.
"...but he wouldn't do that..."I sighed, sobbing afterward.
,"Maybe he got hurt,"I continue,
"y/n he blocked you,"Eunbi said showing the screen of my phone.
"maybe?I was wrong,I just waited for his text but I myself never texted him for nearly a month,"I continued with my trembling voice.
"You're crazy.."eunbi whispered to herself.
"I know...I'm crazy, ugh..whats wrong with me!I should know better,he's not the type to hold grudges"I said hitting my head.
"y/n,stop!let's go,get yourself something to eat,"she said pulling me down stairs to a store next door.
"eat,it's on me today,"she said.
"one spicy beef soup and a hangover soup, add extra ramyun noodle please,"she ordered.
"I didn't drink..."I interupt hearing what she ordered.
"you didn't?well I did I had a bad day yesterday," she rambled.
"what are you ordering?the food here is cheap,so order as much as you want,"she continued.
"I know its summer and its scorching hot out there, but hot pots are refreshing,"she continued.
"kimchi soup please"I interupted her.
"you're gonna starve like this,"she replied.
"he likes it tho,"I whispered to myself.
"what?you, starving,"she said sarcastically.
"no!kimchi soup,its the first thing I learned to cook and he promise to eat mine only,"I explained.
"ya,get over him,"she shouted.
We ate and I washed up after, and went to the room to clean."ungrateful jerk,"I shouted, as I shove the food into a trash bag.
"why am I even cleaning this,M-MESS!"I mumbled,starting to sobb.
"these candles were expensive,"I whined to myself, as I put the candles and table cloth in a box.As much as I'm in rage I couldn't get myself to put down our photos.
Days go by, but I still go to that room everyday,the room with the bitter sweet memories.Hoping he would come,pathetic.I would wait and look at the beautiful view of the sea and sit or lie on the floor.Depressing,I know.
Waking up at that room I looked at his photo then my phone.I should move on,I thought.I stood up to see the fantastic view of the sea.I then went to a place where peace is common and stress is just a feeling or an emotion and not an expression,a calm place,the library.
In there I just took the books I have borrowed but never finished cause of the due date."That's a pretty old book,"I heard, a voice,I turned to see a man with curly hair in a jacket with a name written on it.
"who cares if its old?I read what I want to?!"I stutterd in shock.
"why are you so mad?!"he said startled as well.
"you startled me first"I said.He was then just staring at me with crinkled eyebrows.I cleared my throat and walked away swiftly.
I sat at one of the empty tables."memories in autumn?are you lonely?
,"I heard a voice reading out the title of my book.It was that guy from earlier."ya,kim yohan?"I read out the name on his jacket,
"don't you have better things to do?"I asked him quietly, flustered.
"He looked shocked but then chuckled after looking at the name on his jacket.
"I'm sorry but I just wanna make friends before I leave this place,"he said.
"friends? Don't you have anyone?"I questioned.
"yea,I don't so I want you to just be my friend and say good bye to me,ok?"he continued.
"thats an odd request and when exactly are you leaving?"I asked him.
"He said 2 weeks,"he answered.
"He?,"I asked.
"the guy who talked with my mom,"he replied.Wait is he? dying?a guy who talked with his mom whats that suppose to mean.
"you're leaving what?"I asked flustered.
"This town?"he said.Oh thank god I thought he was a cancer patient or something.Well if he was he wouldn't be here.
"what exactly do you want me to do?"I asked.
"just read your book and I'll read mine and have small talk,I don't want an empty good bye you know,"he said.
"am I even coming here everyday?"I whispered to myself.Why am I even agreeing to this..well atleast I have a reason to read here and make myself productive.
"Fine,but talk to me formally,"I agreed.
"but we look the same age,"he said pouting."fine call me whatever just don't call me by my name,"I said."okey,lets do it then,"he said taking a comic book out of his bag.
I then heard a rustling sound, I looked towards him."want some,"he offered a bag of chips.
"can we even eat here?!"I asked him.
"just be quiet about it,"he said."Fine, I'm hungry anyways,"I thought taking one of his snacks.
That was what we did for some time.We just read and take turns bringing snacks,we would talk with each other when something interesting happens in there.It felt like pure friendship.A peaceful cycle.
We could be considered sneaky, but I think the librarian is getting suspicious.
"Did you bring anything,"he whispered,I nodded and took the chips out of my bag.I struggled to open it, so he took the bag and burst it open.
Everything was then flying and the powder was everywhere.We were flustered,"ya!"the librarian shouted.Yohan laughed and ran signaling me to follow.We ran out as we were being chased but I couldn't stop laughing.I smiled seeing his mischevious and goofy smile hugging his bag pack.He pulled me into a stair case in line of some shops.He was peaking out with his flustered smile, with the crumbs on his hair, making me smile. I could not stop smiling and once I looked at my hand, I burst out laughing and dropped to the floor.
He realised"what?"he asked.I showed him the book in my hands.
"ya,that was why there was a beeping noise when we ran out!"he said widening his eyes.I don't know whats up with my humor but I could not stop laughing as he babbles about how we escape and how he couldn't contain his strength when he opened the bag of chips.I felt crazy,wild and free, I've never felt so happy before,every passer byer would stare at us.But I didn't care. Having fun, I realise droplets of rain were staining the side walk.I then took him to a store nearby to avoid it.We sat down,"Lets eat the food here, its cheap,".I wasn't so excited, as I spoke with a cold tone.It was the place I went to after getting abondened by my first love. "You seem out of it,are you tired from laughing and running,"he chuckled."It's nothing,the kimchi soup is nice,"I said since its the only thing I ate here.
"No thank you,I only eat a special someone's kimchi soup,"He said.I froze,reminded of him,reminded of the promise.
"are you getting it?"he interupted.
"what?"I asked,
"kimchi soup?,"he continued.
"oh no,I'll just have what you will,"I said.He replied by raising his brows.
"ya,why are you lonely?,"he asked after ordering.
"I'm not!w-why are you lonely?"I stuttered. "where is your boyfriend?won't he be mad if I'm with you or are you available?if you are I could-"he said.
"you could what?"I interupted
."set you up with someone, yeesh don't get angry,"he said as he pouts,
"you're good looking why don't you have a girlfriend?and why did you want to be my friend?"I asked.
"I don't know?I just wanna talk to you,"he continued.
Then it was just awkwardly silent.He then took the book in my hands and put it infront of my face.I grab on to the book and peaked at the side.
"why?"I asked.He lets go of the book.
"This is our relationship,we're book mates, lets not make it awkward,
"he said scratching his head with an awkward but goofy smile,taking out his comic.He read it and I smiled seeing that,"
Kim yohan,who are you?"I asked.He raised his head and eyebrows confused.
"why and how? had I not seen you before,but everything about you, is extremely familiar,"I continued and looked down as my eyes were getting teary.
"right now,I'm just someone you know and will say goodbye to,"he replied. "The food is here,"the waiter put the food on the table.I wiped my eyes and ate it straight away,"ugh..its hot,"I said dropping my spoon,
"ya, be careful,"he said with a caring tone.I've never heard that sweet tone before.I looked at him, he sighed and smiled afterwards, before sipping his soup.I might be mistaken but his eyes were teary aswell.
We were about to leave,"How are we gonna meet?"I asked.
"maybe there,"he said pointing a cafe nearby,
"anyways see you,"he continued waving and leaving me.I left a smile and sighed as I left.
Meeting yohan, didn't stop me from going into that room.The room with the bitter sweet memories.I do feel less pain,when I go there now but the pain is still something unforgettable.
We meet each other everyday at the cafe with him reading his comic and I'm with another book.I almost forgot he was leaving soon."ya,you're leaving soon,"I said breaking the silence.
"oh yea,3 more days if I'm not mistaken but he said I could leave anytime,so lets just say bye everytime we're leaving,"he suggested."thats nice but how about a farewell party?"I asked him.
"great,it'll actually feel like a real,sincere good bye,"he replied.
"For the real,sincere good bye,I know a place with an amazing view of the sea?,"I suggested."I see it everyday tho?well,I guess I could stay in my house and miss it,so its more special,"he said.
"really?.."I said confuse.
"..okey then,"I continued.
2 days passed and I was finished preparing the place, I tried to put down the picture of him.But I couldn't,I just covered them with a cloth.After that I went down stairs to wait.I looked around the area "ahh!!,"I screamed seeing a man holding a picture of yohan covering his face.He brought up a pink heart shaped sticky note and read it."Dear book mate?y/n,I'm sorry I'm using your name but I wanted to do that for a long time.
Anyways, I'm not coming cause I saw the sea...hahaha,just kidding, the guy who talked with my mom said I'm leaving or I left?I don't know but I can't seem to do anything about it you haven't said good bye to me yet, but its ok if you see someone with this ring, its probably me so say bye to him or me? Idk , love..hahaha jk,regards your friend,"the guy read with a cold and emotionless tone.
He then gave me the sticky note"what ring?"I questioned.He took a ring that has "our love is not just a memory,its a gift," carved on it.
"what does it mean?"I asked.He ignored me and put the ring on me, while saying
"You can bring him back,if you wish,"he said.
"I was confused, but chuckled as I admire the cute note,even if it reminds me of the guy who abondened me.Looking at my hand as he put the ring on me.Everything suddenly fades into something else his hand suddenly had a red diamoned ring on it and got wrinkly and my vision blurred.My leg gave out and I felt like I was falling.
Suddenly,I heard a beeping sound and a woman's voice"she's starting to stabilise"the woman said.
"She's awake!"I then heard Eunbi's voice.
"no she has to rest,"I heard the woman's voice again."her hands moved,"Eunbi continues.
I tried to speak up, but something was covering my mouth something blowing moist air to my mouth.I tried to move my body but it won't budge, only a tear drop came out and my face started to heat up.My head started to feel pain.I heard the beeping sound, going faster than before.
"y/n-shi?!"I heard the woman's voice once again, before I everything turned black.
I opened my eyes and saw myself in a ward."what?"I whispered to myself.Nobody was in the room so I pressed a button for assistance.
2 nurses went in."ms.y/n?,"They said.
I could only turn my head,"I felt like I over slept?"I said. "
Y/n?!"Eunbi shouted as she crashed into my room."oh my god, sorry I wasn't here,they said I was too loud!"she said before glaring at the nurses.
"anyways you're here because of the heat in the room you fell asleep in,and some other stuff but I helped you,"she said.
"You're family is having dinner downstairs so lets go see them,"she said, carrying me onto a wheel chair, since my legs were to weak.The nurses positioned my feet.We then went out and passed by the wards.
Somehow only his name was on the ward's lebeling.I would look back everytime and Eunbi would ask me why, I'll just reply with nothing.
I shook my head trying to get it off my mind,it was just a dream right?Suddenly I heard a clinging sound and the wheel chair suddenly stopped.A lady coming out from a ward at the side,took something infront of my wheel chair,a ring.The lady bowed with a smile and went back in the ward.
Eunbi started pushing the wheel chair, but everyone was passing by and blocking our way,"It is night time, why is it so busy?!"she said irritated.
Suddenly, a patient in bed was coming towards us.Eunbi brought us in the room next to us where the lady who took the ring was in.
"ya,whats happening?"she said to herself.
"I'm sorry,there was something going on outside,"she apologised to the lady."It's ok,why don't you just sit with me,"she said, leading us to the sofas,after hearing the wailing and screaming from the people outside.We sat down,she was holding the ring.
"What happen to your son?"Eunbi broke the silence.
"He just went through surgery,"she said.
"He's an amazing son you know,he eats what I feed lets me help him but he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore,"she continued as she puts the ring on the table.
"This is what they found in his pocket,and when they found his phone they fined him for text driving,"she started to tear up.
"I blocked her, for him, I was angry and thats why he doesn't talk to me anymore,after that she didn't answer his phone calls and text massages, but I know,I still am at fault,"she continued sobbing
"but the doctors said that he forgot everything,but he knows, he was wrong and make things right when he saw the text message she sent but I'm just worried for him,"she said with a trembling voice.I was shocked on how relateable the story is to mine.
"We have to go now,"Eunbi interupt,standing up and pushing my wheel chair."push it to the right,"she ordered me as we reach the door,"It wont budge,"I said ,"then to the left?,"she replied."It's probably locked,it does that for safety reasons,"the lady said.
"it wasn't locked when we came in,"I whispered to myself.
The door opened and I saw my reflection and when i realise the lady had familiar hands with a red diamond ring on it.
"wait-I'm sorry but can I see your son?"I stuttered while tearing up, as I turn to her.
"why not?go ahead,"she stuttered with a flustered expression.I moved the wheel chair to his bed, when I saw a jacket with the name Kim yohan on it.I looked at him and I saw a ring tied to a string forming a necklace.He was wearing it,the ring with a familiar wording.
I gaspes,"In my dream,you- it was you,"I stuttered, as my tears well up, thinking of how I didn't recognise him."You left?"I asked.
"He's leaving his past"the lady said.
"I looked at her with my teary eyes.Tears started to stream down as I hugged him.
"y/n?"I heard a voice calling like a whisper."why are you crying?"I heard him,he was awake patting my head and wiping my tears.
"Why?"the lady asked.
"she's the girlfriend,"Eunbi told her.
"you're my girlfriend right?"he said, smiling.I noded.I was still sobbing.I was embarassed burrying my face to the bed.
"I'm sorry I believe I broke a promise,"he said.I was shaking my head, smiling.
I stayed with him untill visiting hours were over,the next day.
I came to his ward with my wheel chair.I took his jacket and hugged it,"good bye,"I said to the jacket as it was a part of the memories we had.I teared up once again,
"y/n?"he said half asleep.
"yes?"I answered him with my trembling voice.
"why are you crying?your eyes will sting?"he said with his goofy smile.
"I just missed you...yohan?"I said.He hummed in reply blinking.
"don't forget me ok?and never forget us,"I whispered.He was smiling and nodding like a child.He then streched and went off his bed for a hug.It felt wonderful and warm.I was tearing up again as my heart felt heavier.He pat my head while hugging me.He hugged me tighter and I never felt such joy in my life.
I felt satisfied and loved, like everything was true.I would always remember, that this love is a gift not just a memory which if it was,its nothing to him now.
THE END