Hello, my Never, Neverland
“Hello... my Neverland.”
I don't know how long I've been in Neverland, and I don't even know how long Neverland has existed.
My name is not Tinkerbell, but everyone calls me Tinkerbell, so at some point I forgot my real name.
Everyone seemed to regard me as a sort of guardian deity of their own Neverland. In Neverland, each child has a designated life. Some might have one, others five or more. I don't know the criteria or the reason. It's just one of their characteristics.
“I hope I can die today.”
I said those words and closed my eyes. My hands were trembling, but it wasn't the fear of death, but the fear of failing again.
“Hello, hello. Please, hello.”
I muttered "Hello" like a spell, then thrust the knife into my heart with all my might. As usual, or rather, even more than usual, I bled. As the saying goes, "He who has tasted meat knows," my stabbing skills seemed to be improving day by day.
“Hello, hello. Please, hello.”
I stumbled and fell with a loud crash. My mind grew increasingly dizzy, and the pain slowly faded away. I poured all my strength into a bright smile.
"Hahaha...Hello, my Never, Neverland. "
I smiled, filled with emptiness, at the feeling of not disappearing but rather fading away. This time, too, I will be reincarnated.
As always
This is the perfect 99th failure.
"Ugh..."
“Are you awake?”
Slowly opening my eyes, I turned to where the sound was coming from and saw a familiar face. I turned my gaze back to the ceiling and muttered.
"Hello, Neverland..."
Yeonjun, who had been sitting on the floor and looking at me with concern, got up and sat on the bed where I was lying.
"Hello, Choi Yeonjun"
Yeonjun gently tossed my hair. I smiled at him, but he frowned, as if he didn't like the smile.
"Tinkerbell. Are you dead again?"
"Again?"
"...Actually, I heard from Soobin that this isn't the first time Tinkerbell has attempted suicide."
''That's a shame.''
When Yeonjun heard Soobin's name, a snicker escaped his lips. Even after such a maddening fight, there was no other friend who would come to his aid on the day he died.
"Yeah, I didn't die this time either. It's my 99th glorious failure."
“I don’t know why you keep committing suicide.”
I pressed down on Yeonjun's expression. He was so cute that he frowned.
“Everyone is desperate to live, so why is Tinkerbell desperate to die?”
"Well... I don't know. How many more times do I have to die?"
Yeonjun sighed deeply and shook his head from side to side, perhaps fed up with my repetitive answers. His face seemed to have half given up.
“Why do you want to die?”
After hearing his words, I was speechless for a while. If I told the truth about why I wanted to die, no one would believe me, and even if I did tell someone why I desperately wanted to die, I couldn't become Peter Pan.
"...I just want to see someone."
Yeonjun stuttered after hearing what I said. I tried to speak as plainly as possible, but he seemed flustered and had a complicated expression on his face.
“Look, the person you want to see… is… that… week… dead?”
After hearing Yeonjun's words, I patted his hand. Then I smiled and replied.
“Dead, but still alive.”
“That sounds like a hot snowman.”
At Yeonjun's words, I chuckled and stood up. Then Yeonjun hurriedly sat me back down and said.
“It seems like you haven’t fully recovered yet. Please rest a little longer and then…”
I said, lightly kissing Yeonjun's forehead.
“Don’t worry, Yeonjun. Now, shall we start the day again?”
Yeonjun stroked the forehead I'd kissed. Seeing his flushed cheeks, I was reminded of someone. I tried to remember, but I couldn't recall anything.
"Chi... Why does Tinkerbell call me by my name?"
“That’s why it has a name. Oh, and don’t tell anyone your name.”
"Of course. Nobody knows my name."
"Choi Soo-bin too?"
In response to my question, Yeonjun filled his mouth with air and spoke.
"No matter how close I am to Subin, Tinkerbell is more precious to me. Of course, I kept my promise to Tinkerbell!"
Yeonjun spoke excitedly, as if he wanted praise, and I stroked his head. As I stroked him, Yeonjun lowered his head, hiding his blushing face.
“Everyone calls me Peter Pan. My close friends call me Peter as a nickname, just like they call Tinkerbell Tinkerbell.”
After finishing speaking, Yeonjun looked at me with an expression full of anticipation.
“I am Tinkerbell, so I will call you by your name.”
A faint disappointment etched itself on Yeonjun's face as he listened to my words. Perhaps because I answered so firmly, Yeonjun flinched and muttered softly.
“I want Tinkerbell to call me Peter, just like I call you Tinkerbell.”
"Um~ What if you don't like it?"
“Then Tinkerbell, please tell me your name.”
“Sorry. I forgot my real name. That’s why I call you by your name.”
" ah... "
Yeonjun sighed softly and began to look at me. I smiled slightly and stroked Yeonjun's cheek.
“Because that’s the only way you’ll never forget your name.”