Moments that were precious only to meW. Ten 10
I was not my father's biological child.
He was the child of a man my mother met before she got married.
Maybe that's why neither of them loved me.
I didn't understand it when I was young, but from around the age of seven, I was able to understand their feelings.
A mother who cannot love the child of the man who abandoned her
A father who cannot love the child of a man who made the woman he loved unhappy.
The two of them tried to do everything they could as parents, but when they heard their child crying that he couldn't love them as much as they loved her, they gave up.
After that, I had a younger sibling, and seeing that child being loved by my parents made me think that it was inevitable.
I didn't care because I had never experienced the kind of love I had ever received from my own mother since I was born.
I didn't care about the day they turned their backs on me and went abroad, leaving me behind.
I felt sad as I watched them leave with the promise that they would provide financial support until I turned 25.
The sight of the three people he had left behind was so harmonious that it was rather refreshing.
Now, no more crying face of my mother,
My younger brother, who feels guilty every time he sees me,
Because I don't have to see my father pretending to be affectionate.
Because I was alone from the beginning, I wasn't lonely.
But you guys aren't like that.
You are the ones who taught me what warmth is, what friendship is, what love is, and what the happiness of being together is.
I didn't have any regrets about something that never existed in the first place.
But what will I do if you all abandon me?
I already knew what happiness is when we're together, but now I'm alone again.
At school too,
Even at home I am alone.
I opened my eyes to the familiar smell of alcohol and saw a pure white ceiling.
People were moving busily, and there were many patients bleeding and suffering everywhere.
Is this the emergency room?
There was no one around me.
I think I saw Min Yoongi's face for the last time, but I couldn't quite remember.
"Patient Kim Dan-ah? Are you awake? I'll bring the doctor over, so just a moment."
The nurse left, and the cell phone next to the pillow rang.
Now there is no one to contact me. Who is it?
[I deposited the hospital bill. -Mom]
The concise text made me laugh out loud.
Can't you at least ask where it hurts?
But you are the one who gave birth to me...
"Patient Kim Dan-ah? She's malnourished. Is there a reason she hasn't eaten to this extent? I spoke to her guardian earlier, and she said she's overseas and can't come right away..."
In the doctor's opinion, Dan-ah seemed very psychologically unstable.
Traces of self-harm were found on her wrists, but her parents said they did not seem particularly concerned about her collapse.
"Do you need psychological counseling? If you'd like, I can recommend a doctor I know."
"...No, it's okay. I just haven't had an appetite lately so I haven't eaten, but I didn't know it would be this bad.
"I'll take good care of myself from now on. Can I go home now?"
The doctor couldn't continue speaking at Dan-a's emotionless expression.
"Kim Dan-ah!"
"...?"
"Can I come out already? I asked because you disappeared while I was in the bathroom, and you said you just left..."
"Won't you stop now?"
"what?"
"Han Yeo-ju, I pushed you. The rumors you heard are all true. So stop it now."
"...Are you asking me to believe that right now?"
"You believed me. That's why we ended up like this. That's why our relationship is broken."
"..."
"So please stop. It's finally not painful to look at you,
Don't come near me and ignore me. It's too late.
I don't know what you're thinking, but we can never go back to how we were before."
After saying that, he turned around.
Although I came out right away, my physical condition was not good.
I felt like I was going to collapse at any moment, but I didn't want to show myself collapsing again.
"Then just for today."
"..."
"Just let me take you home today. You'll never be able to walk home alone in your current condition."
"No, just pretend you don't know. We're not friends anymore."
Dan-ah's back as she walked away after speaking so bluntly still held a dangerous presence. Her words stung, but I wasn't so conscientious as to show it.
That guy must have been in more pain than this.
"...uh."
[How is Dan-ah's condition?]
"It's not good. He's malnourished, has severe anemia, and has low blood pressure."
[I'll go now. You said it was Yulje Hospital, right?]
"...You don't have to come. Kim Dan-ah went to her house."
[What? You really sent me a wedding gift?!]
"...Pretend not to know. Please stop now."
Dan-ah was crying as she said that.
He didn't even seem to realize that he was crying, and just walked on without wiping away the tears that were flowing down his face.