"Hey... how much did you drink? I heard it all from Huening yesterday."
"..Big, by the way, how did Huening know about this yesterday?"
"You haven't been to school in a while. There must be a lot of kids around. I got a tip in the group chat that you were drinking with a handsome guy."
"A handsome guy?... Ah- Taehyun."
"You said you'd never date again, even if you died, but who is it this time?"
As soon as I entered university, my closest friend was Yewon.
We met on a rare day off, but all I got in return was nagging.
Of course, I was listening in and chatting for a while when I saw a familiar face behind me.
"Noona!"
"Why did you call him again, Yewon?"
"Did I call you?"
Huening Kai. He's my junior. I feel embarrassed to say this, but he's confessed to me more than ten times already... Doesn't he really get tired of it?The way he follows me around like a puppy, and he's not a bad guy, so we keep him company.
Huening, who entered the cafe and waved excitedly, quickly placed his order and sat down next to me. Then he said—
"Sister, you're really going too far."
"Huh? Why are you going too far this time?"
"My confessions were rejected as soon as they were received, but who were those men yesterday?"
"They're high school friends. High school-"
"You don't even drink with me..."
Yewon, seeing this, waved her hand, saying, "Oh my, what's going on..." At a loss for words, she gulped down her coffee and glanced at her phone. As soon as she opened KakaoTalk, Choi Beomgyu popped up...
Choi Beom-gyu, what's with him? Does he really have no feelings for me?
"Guys... This isn't about me, it's about my friend."
"What is it?"
"I ran into my long-time ex-boyfriend. He seemed completely unconcerned. But he kept contacting me. He was acting like he knew me without any hesitation."
"Did you get a call from Choi Beom-gyu?"
"..No, I, I said it's not my story??"
Those ghosts!... Those two, who were sure that it was my story, rested their chins on their hands and listened to me seriously.
"But why did you guys break up? You never fought."
"What? Us?"
..ugh, if you saw us when you were in high school, you would have fainted because of us?
By the way, how did you really break up?
Suddenly I thought back to that day.
***
"Hey, are you very busy?"
"Beomgyu, just wait a minute, I'll just finish this."
"Okay, I'll wait in the living room."
I was so busy writing the report I was assigned for school that I didn't even notice Beomgyu coming in. Normally, he would have been lying in bed, watching me, waiting, but these days, he'd go out to the living room first and wait.
After about 30 minutes, I went out to the living room and saw Beomgyu, who was unusually slumped. I did some quick stretching and sat down next to him, and he started fidgeting with his hands.
"You're really busy these days, Yeoju."
"I'm so out of it... I have an interview next week and I have to prepare."
"You know"
I got a warrant.
What? I was startled by the thunderous sound and looked at Beomgyu.
A warrant? A warrant? Then that means I have to go to the military.
"..I can't bring myself to ask you to wait."
"..uh?"
"I can clearly see you're having a hard time preparing for employment, and I don't want to stress you out either."
"What are you talking about now?"
"Should we break up?"
"..."
Beomgyu was trembling, his head bowed low, as if he were a criminal, to the point where you wondered if he was really the one suggesting a breakup. He had nothing to say.
If you do that, what should I do, Beomgyu?
In this place where only silence lingered, no one opened their mouth.
Am I supposed to answer here?
"..Okay, let's break up."
***
"Oh my, it must have been tough with military service and getting a job all at once."
"I don't know, it's been a few years already."
"Hey, when I saw you two, you two met? I'm starting to feel a pang of regret."
"..."
Oh my... That's me. I can't forget the look on your face when we met at the cafe. Of course, I've been so busy since we broke up, but Choi Beomgyu's face was so lively! Was it just me who had a hard time?!
That was the time.
"Hey, Jo Yeon-ji, don't fall! Walk slowly."
"Hey, I want a smoothie. Buy me this."
"Okay, I'll buy it, so go sit down."
...What the. It was Beomgyu, coming in with a cute girl. Is she a new girlfriend? Their affectionate appearance made my face stiffen. I knew Yewon and Huening were fidgeting, watching me closely, but I couldn't pretend to be okay. This feeling right now...
"..."
"Sister...are you okay? Should we go out?"
"No, no! Don't worry, I'm fine."
"No matter what, he was the person my older sister liked."
"It's been so long since we broke up. Okay."
Actually, I want to die. I just want to run away. Damn it...
A woman I don't know next to Choi Beomgyu? This really reminds me of Kim Ye-rim. Back then, Beomgyu at least showed signs of disliking her... Now, those two are in their own world.
Ha, it's complicated, but anyway, it seems like she's my new girlfriend
I shouldn't care. Let's forget it. Let's forget it quickly.
"..let's have a drink together today"
"Ugh, you crazy Jinsang!... Oh my, it's only for today."
***
While Yeo-ju was crying inside for a long time, Beom-gyu was looking at his cousin who was sweating profusely and not knowing where to run. Ha, Jo Yeon-ji, you have to go to college... I'm going to get beaten to death by my aunt!
"Honey, did you see the people who just left?"
"..Suddenly, you stopped studying. Who are you?"
"I don't know, but I was just staring at you? I thought you were my girlfriend!"
"Stop talking nonsense and just study."
"I'm telling you, seriously? You showed me a picture of your ex-girlfriend. She looked similar."
A flinch. Only then did Beomgyu, who had finally looked out the window, find himself frozen in place. Why is Kim Yeoju there? And why is she leaving?
You didn't even reply to my KakaoTalk messages... Are you blatantly avoiding me?
Beomgyu felt bad for no reason.
***
"Wow...fuck..."
I feel so down... I've never been this depressed. What's more, I like alcohol, and I've never had a bad time drinking... but today, I really had no taste at all.
Yewon must have seen me fussing over the drinks and snacks when she slapped my back. "Oh, it hurts. Why are you hitting me?" Yewon clicked her tongue at my complaint and opened her mouth.
"Be honest. Do you still like Choi Beomgyu?"
"...I don't know if this is what I like or what it is."
"It might seem like I'm being a noob right now, but if you like it, try again. You can always contact me."
"..."
"Or maybe dating me wouldn't be a bad idea."
"Should I salt it?"
Taaaaan-! As we clinked our glasses and took a shot, Huening's lips stuck out. What can you do if they're pouting? Huening, you're still a kid.
"Thanks for drinking with me! I'll pay today."
"..Sister- I love you"
"Hey, it's okay, it's disgusting."
After finishing my checkout and leaving the store, I saw Yewon and Huening hailing a taxi. Since I live alone, it was a quick walk. I'm so tired, I'd rather take a taxi.
As the taxi arrived, I packed up the kids and started walking slowly. I'm going home... When will I ever wash again and fall asleep again? I'm dying from exhaustion. Haa, having to climb that steep hill felt like I was going to die.
"Did you drink again?"
"Eek- Surprise!.."
"Why are you so surprised? I just came out for a quick smoke."
"...Oh, really? I'm at home..."
"Do you want to smoke together?"
"Yeah, I want to smoke with you!!!" The words rose to the tip of my tongue and then subsided. I came to my senses. He has a partner. And I'm drunk right now, so I don't know what I'll say when I'm drunk.
I hesitated and shook my head, but Beomgyu said he understood and lit a cigarette. "Your hair's grown out, Beomgyu. Of course, we broke up before he enlisted in the military, so I haven't seen him with short hair. Let's give up on that."
As I was walking home, breaking through the awkward silence, I heard Beomgyu's voice behind me.
"So why do you hate me?"
"..sorry, I was drunk back then and said all sorts of things to you"
"I was curious. It seemed too sincere to sound like something you said while drunk."
"I said that because I was really drunk, don't worry about it."
"How can you not care?"
I turned around at those words. What was he saying? I felt a surge of anger. Choi Beomgyu, why are you looking at me like that? It's been a while since I've seen Beomgyu's face up close, and I see the high school Beomgyu. It reminds me of the old days.
"You were the one who suggested breaking up. Don't play with people's hearts now, Choi Beomgyu."
"...what?"
"Literally, you have a girlfriend. I have someone I'm talking to right now."
"..."
Beomgyu bit his lip hard at those words and threw away his cigarette butt. Then, without saying a word, he walked home. For some reason, he felt compelled to witness the whole scene. Anyone contacting him? Of course not. I'm not shedding a single tear, but my heart aches so much... But what can I do? If I don't do this, I feel like I'll break down.
As Beomgyu opened the front door, he suddenly turned to look at me. Oh, shit, I couldn't look away. Our eyes met, and Beomgyu's eyes were wet.
"I never played with your heart."
With those words, Beomgyu went home. He felt like he'd heard something he shouldn't have.
________________________