"You're acting like a child!" Yedam huffed in exasperation, leaving his room after Doyoung.
"Well, what do you think? That's what I am," the younger boy replied furiously as he left his classmates' apartment.
-And we're going to finish- Yedam shouted.
"Good," Doyoung replied, closing the door behind him.
Yedam stood motionless inside the apartment, his face showing disbelief; he seemed genuinely annoyed with his now ex-boyfriend.
The rest of the members looked even more surprised; the scene was shocking to everyone, especially to Jihoon, who had known them for a long time and had never seen them behave like this.
"What happened?" Yoshi ventured to ask after five minutes in which no one moved.
"We're done," Yedam's face softened and now he seemed about to cry. "We're done," he repeated as tears welled up in his eyes.
"Are you okay?" Mashiho asked. "Why did you fight?" She took Yedam's hand and led him to the couch.
Yedam didn't seem to want to talk; he clung to Jihoon and wouldn't let go. Asahi rubbed his back, and he only let out small sobs.
"You know you can count on us, right?" Jihoon looked at him and Yedam nodded. "Tell us, why did you argue?"
"I don't know," Yedam sighed, sitting up straight. "It was completely stupid. Now I think about it and it's so small it's laughable, but we've been under so much pressure lately and we just snapped."
"You should go and apologize if you feel that way," Haruto advised.
"He must still be upset; he has a much stronger character than I do," Yedam denied.
"Just give him some time, he'll surely get over his anger and you can go talk to him," the eldest of the six smiled.
"Can you ask the boys if they're okay? I'm worried," she said, lowering her head and continuing to cry.
Jihoon called Hyunsuk to ask about the younger boy, and Yoshinori took his place as Yedam's refuge while Asahi and Mashiho rubbed his back and gently patted his head.
They were like that for a long time and the call between the leaders didn't seem to want to end, Jihoon seemed worried, surely Doyoung hadn't arrived in good condition and was in worse condition.
The call finally ended and Jihoon sighed wearily.
-He's fine, Hyunsuk said he arrived crying and locked himself in his room, he only let Junkyu in since they share the room but he didn't want to talk to anyone, I think he fell asleep with Junhwan in Kyu's bed.
That reassured Yedam a little; his maknae had the ability to calm the members, and he assumed that if he was with him, at least he wouldn't be alone and would feel supported.
Tomorrow they had to practice early in the morning since it was Saturday and none of the members had to go to school. Yedam didn't know how he would get through practice while fighting with Doyoung. He hoped he could resolve things soon, but he was sure the younger member would just ignore him.
••••
The next morning, silence reigned in the other members' dormitory. None of them dared to ask Doyoung anything, as he had finally calmed down and they didn't want him to lock himself away again and cry for the rest of the day.
Even though Hyunsuk had spoken with Jihoon, he hadn't said anything useful other than that Doyoung and Yedam had argued. He didn't give any reasons or anything, he just said, "He and Yedam just had an argument, it was quite a show."
The six of them were at the table having breakfast until Doyoung cleared his throat, drawing everyone's attention.
-Yedam and I broke up yesterday- he announced calmly to the rest of the members.
Everyone was surprised to hear the news, remaining silent in disbelief. Jeongwoo and Junhwan even dropped their spoons, making a clattering noise and further increasing the awkwardness of the situation.
"Are you okay?" Jaehyuk asked. "How are you feeling?"
"I guess it's embarrassing that he broke up with me," she said without stopping eating, "but other than that I'm fine."
"Why did you break up?" Hyunsuk asked, not quite sure if he should say that.
"Turns out I'm a kid, you know, I'm immature, childish and all that stuff," he swallowed. "I'm done, I'll go first," he said and got up from the table.
Doyoung didn't want to keep crying; he knew the situation could affect the group and didn't want personal problems to interfere, so he thought it would be better to tell the others what was happening.
Although he didn't want to cry anymore, he couldn't help it. Even after crying all night, his tears wouldn't stop flowing. He had never imagined that Yedam would break up with him. He always thought that if they broke up it would be his fault, and that he would yell at Yedam to end it just because he was impulsive. But Yedam wasn't impulsive. The older man thought things through; he didn't go around doing reckless things like him. So if he had broken up with him, it was because it was what he truly wanted.
She forced herself to stop crying; her eyes were swollen, her cheeks and nose red, but if she washed her face and then put on a face mask, she could go unnoticed.
She left with the other members and they went to the company; the rest of the guys arrived shortly after. She avoided looking at Yedam at all times and only focused on dancing.
Yedam wanted to go talk to him, but the guys told him to wait until they got back, as it wouldn't be good to create a scene at the company, and he agreed, although he was very anxious and wished the internship would end as soon as possible.
•••
Doyoung had a feeling something was going to happen. He was alone in the apartment; all the members had left. The day before, they hadn't wanted to leave him alone and hadn't stopped bothering him, but today they'd come up with a thousand excuses to leave. He could see what was coming, but he preferred to think it wouldn't happen, though every glimmer of hope vanished when he saw Yedam enter the apartment. As soon as the older man stepped inside, Doyoung got up, went to his room, and locked himself in.
"Doyoung, wait," Yedam said, taking his hand. "We need to talk."
"I don't want to," the younger one denied. "Let's just keep ignoring each other, we'll be fine. Nobody will notice we're fighting. Anyway, we're not that close on camera."
"That's the least of my concerns right now, Doyoung. I'm sorry, I said hurtful things yesterday that I don't really believe. I was wrong..."
"Enough," the younger one said, letting go of his arm. "It doesn't matter if you regret it now. You said it, and it's true. I'm a kid," he said dejectedly. "I don't stop to think things through, I just do them. I'm impulsive and childish. I don't like being treated like a kid, but I've been thinking, and I think that's what I am."
"So what if you're a kid? Not all kids are the same. It doesn't matter if you're impulsive and don't think things through; you're mature. I'd say you're more sensible than Junkyu or Jihoon. I'm not that much older than you. What I said yesterday might not have been a lie, but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing."
-You told me that if I walked out that door we were done and I walked out, I didn't even think about it, I just did it, I don't think you want to be with someone who does that.
"I yelled at you that if you left through that door we were over," Yedam nodded, "but before that I said horrible things, I was rude when we were in my room, and then I yelled at you, in front of the guys. I wouldn't have hesitated to leave either. It was totally my fault, I take full responsibility, but Doyoung, please forgive me," he pleaded, almost begging. "I hate being on bad terms with you, you're not just my boyfriend, you're my best friend." Yedam was almost crying, and the younger man couldn't take his eyes off the floor. "I couldn't sleep last night because I couldn't stand the fact that you were mad at me. During practice, all I could do was look at you and feel bad because I knew I couldn't go near you, or hug you, or cheer you up, I wasn't even able to offer you water..."
-I missed you during practice too. I tried to avoid you, but during every break I thought it would be better if you were giving me a hug or just lying together on the living room floor- Yedam hugged Doyoung.
-Could you forgive me? I'm truly sorry, it won't happen again.
"Do you promise?" The older one nodded. "Do it on your pinky finger." Yedam laughed and swore. "If you break your promise, I'll cut off your finger."
They kissed and spent the rest of the afternoon together. Yedam accompanied Doyoung home despite the younger boy's complaints, as his parents' house was far from Yedam's, but the older boy just ignored him and laughed.
"Don't be upset," he laughed. "How can I leave with that face?"
"Seriously, you didn't have to come and drop me off," she huffed.
"How can I let a child wander alone through the dangerous streets of Seoul?" he joked, but Doyoung didn't laugh.
-Do you want to lose your finger?
"Goodbye!" she said, giving him a kiss and running off while laughing. "I love you!" she shouted, and Doyoung finally laughed.
The boy shook his head and went inside when he could no longer see his boyfriend. Without a doubt, being without him was the worst thing in the world.