On the bus back to school after MT.
As soon as I leaned against the window, I fell asleep.
Maybe because I’d been drinking until late the night before, my whole body felt like lead. The last thing I remembered was the sound of my friends chattering and the feeling of the bus lurching as it pulled away.
How long had I slept?
I woke up in the middle because my throat was dry, and just as I was about to close my eyes again, an all-too-familiar voice came from the back.
"Hey, I thought you said you weren’t going to that blind date, Yeoju."
They were my classmates.
I kept my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.
"No, this time he’s really a good one."
"Yeoju’s going?"
"No, she still says she hates it."
Minseok laughed.
"I’m still trying to convince her."
I could hear my friends laughing.
"This one’s really good. Good personality, good-looking too."
"Then Yeoju will probably like him."
"Well, you’ll know once she meets him."
I let out a sigh to myself.
'Here we go again.'
Minseok had been bringing up blind dates for ages.
Every time, I said no, and this time was no different.
But Minseok didn’t seem like he planned to give up.
"Still, she needs to meet him at least once."
"He really likes Yeoju, you know."
"Yeoju’s been single this whole time, too."
I put my earphones in so I wouldn’t have to listen anymore.
But Wonbin, who was sitting in front, was different.
Wonbin hadn’t fallen asleep from the start.
His gaze, which had been fixed on the window, slowly drifted toward the back.
'He really likes Yeoju, you know.'
That sentence was clearly etched into Wonbin’s ears.
Blind date.
Wonbin absentmindedly looked out the window.
At that moment, what happened last night came back to him.
"Noona."
"Is Haena really that bad?"
Maybe it was the alcohol, but I’d had more courage than usual.
Maybe, just a little, I’d been hoping for something.
But as soon as she heard the question, Noona’s face stiffened.
A flustered look.
Averted eyes that couldn’t answer.
And in the end,
"You’re too drunk."
She only left those words behind and got up first.
From that moment on, Wonbin had felt strangely hurt.
Does she really hate it?
Is it too much pressure because I’m younger?
He even thought that if she realized he liked her, she might dislike it even more.
But now.
He’d heard the words blind date.
"I’m telling you, this one is really good."
"I’m still telling her to go meet him."
Wonbin slowly looked down at the phone in his hand.
So in the end, was Noona going on that blind date?
Maybe she wanted to meet someone completely different from him.
Because she’d said she liked older guys.
Because she’d said she liked someone who could take care of her.
If someone like that showed up.
Noona would obviously like that person.
Wonbin pressed his lips together.
He tried to tell himself it was fine.
No matter who Noona met.
No matter who Noona liked.
It had nothing to do with him.
But somehow.
One side of his chest kept feeling tight.
'...I guess I really like her.'
Only then could he admit it.
It hurt this much because he liked her.
*
When we got to school, people got off the bus one by one.
Still half-asleep, I gathered my bag.
"Wonbin."
Spotting Wonbin as he got off the bus, I waved.
Wonbin stopped.
"...Noona."
"Did you sleep well?"
"...Yeah."
"You drank a lot yesterday."
"I’m fine."
"That’s a relief."
I naturally walked over next to Wonbin.
"Wanna go get hangover soup with me?"
If it had been before, Wonbin would have hesitated a little and then followed.
But today was different.
"I’ve got plans."
"Huh?"
"I’ll go first."
"...Okay."
Wonbin lowered his head briefly and walked off ahead of me.
I stared after him for a while.
'Did he have plans?'
It was a little strange, but I was too tired to think much of it.
*
But the next day too.
And the day after that too.
Wonbin avoided me.
If we ran into each other in the hallway, he’d pass by first,
and if I spoke to him, he’d only answer and then leave.
His KakaoTalk messages were weirdly about the same as usual.
Did you eat?
Yeah.
Got a lot of classes today?
A little.
But when we met in person, it was different.
The time we made eye contact got shorter, and he didn’t start conversations like before.
So in the end, I asked a friend.
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Why’s Wonbin acting like that lately?"
"Like what?"
"Feels like he’s avoiding me."
My friend tilted her head.
"Did you guys fight?"
"No."
"Then why?"
"No idea."
I rested my chin in my hand.
Did I do something wrong on MT?
Or was he embarrassed because I said something weird while I was drunk?
Or maybe...
'Did I take care of him too much?'
The more I thought about it, the less sense it made.
*
Meanwhile, Wonbin was sitting by a window in the library, flipping through a book.
Not a single line of text in front of him sank in.
'Blind date.'
That one word kept circling in his head.
Was Noona really going on a blind date?
If she met that person and things went well.
Would she naturally drift away from him?
Wonbin set down his pen.
He couldn’t bring himself to confess that he liked her.
Especially after what he’d heard yesterday.
Noona didn’t like him.
And maybe she was already getting ready to meet someone else.
If so, staying by her side like this might actually be a nuisance.
Wonbin took out his phone.
Noona |
He stared at it for a long time, then deleted it again.
See you ㅅ_
This time, he couldn’t even finish writing it.
In the end, he turned off the screen and flipped the phone over.
He thought that if he just kept a little distance, he’d feel better.
About his feelings for her.
About the feelings he’d foolishly been hoping with.
He thought he could sort it all out on his own.
That’s what he thought.
But then.
The moment he heard Yeoju’s laughter in the hallway,
Wonbin unconsciously lifted his head.
And without meaning to, he looked toward the door.
"...ha."
Not yet, it seemed. Even distancing himself wasn’t easy.
