The moon hung beautifully that night. It was so beautiful, I felt like I kept looking up until I felt sore. This street is getting lonely, I never thought I would come home this late if I took the bus, because I still have to walk home from the nearest bus stop. Walking through a park where the lights are off freaks me out. But, at least I'm not alone. Seongmin walked beside me even without saying a word.
"Seongmin, thank you for today," I tried to break the silence.
"Yes," he answered simply, focusing on the cellphone connected to the earphone, he was listening to a song.
"What do you hear?" I ignored his cell phone, of course he reflexively avoided me. I chuckled, "I just wanted to know, but if you forbid it doesn't matter, I'm just kidding- oh?"
Seongmin stopped suddenly and I followed along, he handed me an earphone, "Listen."
I smiled to receive the earphones and immediately put them on the right ear. Seongmin played a song.
"I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you
'Cause I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul"
I listened attentively, understood every verse I heard.
"Does Noona like it?", Seongmin smiled a little bit of my hair to remove the earphones from my ears.
I nodded, "Good song."
"I know this song since I was little. My parents often sing it for me. Until now I am in high school, I enjoy listening to old songs like this." he explained with a smile.
That night, we continued walking in silence. Bugs could be heard from the bush and grass all around us. Until without knowing it, we arrived at my house complex.
"Thank you so much Seongmin," I waved my hand.
Seongmin looked at me with a soft smile, "Call me whenever noona needs me."
I nodded. I turned around to open the fence, "Well, see you Ahn Seong- ???"
Seongmin suddenly grabbed my left hand, his face bowed.
"Seongmin? What's wrong with you?" I asked, confused suddenly.
Geez, even though my face was covered in hair, I could still see the look on Seongmin's face who wanted something from me. That expression, like something was stuck in his mind. Did I do something wrong?
I panic dodged making explanations, "Did I trouble you? I'm sorry if I'm a bother but I really can't go home alone-"
"N-that's not it!" Seongmin quickly lifted his head, glaring at me. Those eyes gleamed beautifully. Under the moonlight, the night breeze blowing dry leaves, I watched it. Although it was broken, Seongmin gave me a confession. He chose to change.
***
I slammed the front room door softly, "I'm home." My mother rushed over to me who was walking languidly taking off her shoes with her face bowed, "Oh my God, where have you been? Today there is no tutoring, should you come home early right? Have you been going anywhere this late? Huh?" I was still bowed, silent, felt like answering but my throat caught. Mother anxiously cupped my face, "What's wrong with you? See mom when you're talking- oh?" My mother stopped talking after realizing that my cheeks were wet with tears. I hurriedly brushed my mother's hand and as quickly as possible went up to my room. I lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, which was blurred with tears. What did Seongmin say? First time seeing me in the ballroom? I'm the one who dares to break up quarrels - even though I'm actually antisocial? Become a secret fan? Gifts in the locker? Collide with me on the stairs? Accidentally getting into trouble with a senior? I knowingly asked him how he was and we were friends --- without me knowing he was the culprit of the "locker prize"? I turned over, on my stomach with a pillow over my face. Then, what about now? I was already emotional and confused, I left him silent on the fence. I was stupid, not realizing the sketch of my face that he painted half-finished on lavender flower paper, my favorite color. I was stupid, considering the sweetness of the message written in the sticky notes, which I should have known was his handwriting. Stupid me, hurting her by saying all that was 'terrible'. Foolishly, I ignored all those hopeful stares and considered him my dear little brother, my first friend. What should I do now?