“Wow, now even Jang Ma-eum is becoming a star.”
Some people didn't answer because they were busy, but the call was still lively with just Seungwoo, Jeongyeon, and me.
“I’m talking about becoming friends with a world idol like that.”
“Of course, since we’re from the same agency…”
“Anyway, can I go next time too…?”
“You said you didn’t want to receive special treatment.”
“I still hate special treatment.
I'm going to live my whole life as an ordinary person anyway.
Opportunity to meet celebrities
I think I should be the same as everyone else.”
He was usually bright, cheerful and outgoing, but deep thinking was a different matter.
It may be natural for people to seem shallow, but sometimes I worry that they might get hurt by things like that because they seem to think deeply.
“What’s so cool about that, Yoon Jeong-yeon?”
Although his words were playful, his intentions were always warm and childlike, so I thought that Jeongyeon would be able to receive comfort from him just as I had.
It would be better to continue living simply, as it would allow her to overcome her wounds without any worries, but Jeongyeon was still growing up, and it was only natural that her thoughts would deepen.
Unlike me, who was an orphan, and Seungwoo, who had an orphan friend, she was a completely ordinary person, so she was only now going through growing pains.
“Don’t worry, Jeongyeon.
No matter what the outcome of your worries is, it's all okay.
"I'll do anything for you, whether you agree to special treatment or not."
“Jang Ma-eum, you really are like an adult.”
Should I say it's preparation for a comeback or preparation for a solo debut?
Something I had always imagined or glimpsed over my shoulder while preparing for Seventeen's comeback was now happening right in front of me.
In addition to recording the song, I also took photos for the album jacket, and although it was not mandatory, I participated in the album design concept meeting to choose the design I wanted.
And the set date was May 22nd. My debut album, , which is also my growth album, was perfectly suited to the period between the refreshing spring and passionate summer.
But there is one problem…
"Why are we overlapping? I mean, a comeback..."
Still, I thought I would only see your face on music shows for a few days or weeks at most, but how did it end up on May 22nd at 6 o'clock?
How can it be this similar?
“I’m pushed around by male idols…
“I shouldn’t dream of being number one, even if it’s a vague dream.”
“I think that’s what Iuji was after.”
“I expected our activities to overlap,
I really didn't know it would be the same.
“I really didn’t know because we never talked about work.”
This is my second album, and you could almost say it's my first album, but I didn't think I'd get first place among such great singers.
It was something I hadn't even thought about from the beginning.
“Okay. But when the album I ordered comes, just sign it.”
“Oh, the one who ordered to my home address was Ma-mang.
“You can just bring one.”
“No, is that okay?”
“It won’t matter anyway, right?
The representative also paid money fairly
“I was really surprised to see that you applied using my home address.”
“Huh, I didn’t know.”
“Even the albums are all random. Take them one by one.”
“I have mine at work too.
“If you want, I can bring you one.”
"good!
But… wouldn’t less of the profits go to you?”
“I think so
“I bought the official Seventeen album?”
"…ah"
"doesn't care.
Anyway, the company takes the profits from the album.
What are you taking away?
If you're worried about profits
“It’s faster for you to just buy me an album.”
Well, of course, that's not something I should say since I personally chose the profit distribution.
“Once this year passes, both my heart and Chan-i will already be adults…”
It's funny how it's already been five months since 2017 started, but I was so busy before the Marvel rules that I didn't even notice the changes that were coming to me.
“…I see.”
“What are you going to do when you grow up?”
I just lived from hand to mouth, so nothing changed as an adult.
There was nothing more to worry about than the disappearance of the last refuge, the orphanage.
The ideal image that other peers have doesn't exist for me, so I couldn't answer and was at a loss. So that I wouldn't feel embarrassed, Chan-i filled in the blanks for me.
“Would you like to go out drinking with Yoon Jeong-yeon?
Or it would be funny to prepare for the driver's license exam as a group.
Ah, that annoying thing about being an adult
“After 10 o’clock, my ears will disappear. That’s really nice.”
“…There are times when that’s good.”
“That’s right! It’s really good when you’re really tired…”
“There were times when I was really anxious when I came home, oppa.”
“…That’s right. Because I’m a rookie.”
I met them on October 4th, Jeonghan's birthday, and now it's May of the following year, only 8 months have passed.
In a very short time, I was someone I never imagined I would be, and I was loved.
I'm ready to release an album, and I have the space and precious people to talk about my adult life and my future.
“I don’t think anything will change for me.
Just because I can play the female lead in a drama?
“I guess it’s a bit much to make Mija the female lead.”
“Wow, so you’re filming a Jang Ma-eum kissing scene too?
“Wow, that sounds really cool.”
“That might be possible.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before…”
“Then the other actor takes your first kiss…”
My first kiss. Any word with the word "first" attached to it always makes me excited, but for some reason, my first kiss even made my heart turn in a strange way.
And like older brothers looking at their younger sister's boyfriend, the Seventeen members' faces became filled with shit-eating expressions. Especially Jeonghan, Jisoo, Mingyu, and Chani.
It was only through this activity that I was able to get a stylist, or coordinator, and escape the stress of styling.
The comeback showcase was held, and makeup artists and hair stylists from the shop came to the concert hall.
Of course, Si-eun followed me to the showcase, and she was quietly applying makeup as was her personality, when she saw Seok-woo and asked me.
“Is that person your manager?”
“Yeah, my name is Kim Seok-woo.”
“He’s just a playboy.”
"…uh?"
A Seventeen member's confession demanded anticipation, and Seokwoo's seemingly insignificant actions thrilled me. So, her words were enough to shock me.
“Just look at him. With such a handsome face.
How many women would have cried?
“Just do business and don’t regret it later.”
“…That’s what I mean, Sister…”
“You like it?”
"yes"
“I guess you like it more than I thought.”
“Yes, that’s right.
“I didn’t know I could answer like this.”
“You must be suffering from a severe case of love fever, my heart.”
“…But, Seok-woo oppa is that kind of person
“There is no basis for this.”
Seventeen's way of caring for me was different, but I could tell just by looking at them that they were worried.
If Seventeen was worried about their older cousin who was much older than them, then Si-eun's worries were like those of her older sister.
“It’s just an experience.
Because of that face, the person who was hurt can't leave.
That's reality."
There was no basis for her words, but for some reason I felt like I had to believe them.
He's lived much longer than me, and he must have a lot more experience. Perhaps that's why we've built a trust that I can't quite put my finger on.
“But you are in Seventeen, in BTS,
I'm sure I'll become immune to appearance.
“If I get hurt, I’ll just leave.”
It wasn't my first love, but it was still a mature love in its own way, and it was a love I tried my best for.
“…”
“Even so, do whatever you want.
The pain of love, it's not a bad thing to experience it once.
“Because it will be an opportunity for you to grow.”
“And as I said
I'm still that kind of person
"There's no basis for that. It's just my gut feeling."
Her warm attitude, as if she were to come back wounded and tattered, would offer to hug me warmly and help me heal my wounds.
I felt sorry because all I could say was thank you.
“Did I say something like that before the showcase?
“I think you’re worrying for nothing…”
“No. Construction is always well-defined.”
In her arms, I felt like I was receiving a motherly feeling that I never had before, and I started to feel a pang of emotion.