Sentinel Phobia
Um... where should I start... First of all, Seokjin and I were anti-government. The director already knows, and even if this spreads, we're one of the seven people there, so we can somehow catch them, that's why I'm saying this.When Seokjin flinched, it was the female protagonist who intercepted and spoke first.
My family, my father was a Sentinel and my mother was a guide. We were very... harmonious. Seokjin and I were neighbors. I always followed him closely, and he took good care of me. Truly... peaceful and happy days continued.
"It's a runaway!"
A man grabbed the woman who was about to run away. They both looked quite old, and their eyes were filled with concern. Nevertheless, the woman had no choice but to slap his hand away. She knew the Sentinel needed her as its guide, and it was her job to help the rampaging Sentinel.
Her mother was a formidable S-rank guide, but the outburst Sentinel was SS-rank, a significant difference. Even so, guides were rare, and even when they did exist, they were mostly of low rank, making S-rank guiding a rarity. Perhaps that's why, experiencing the ecstatic power of S-rank guidance for the first time, she pushed aside the other guides nearby and clung to her, absorbing her guidance.
No, maybe she'd suck it in and then get hit. Like a vampire, Sentinel's body was frantically absorbing her guidance, determined not to leave a single drop behind. Even she, an S-rank who was capable of guiding on par with an S-rank, was nothing compared to an SS-rank.
The guide, feeling overwhelmed, tried to push the Sentinel away, but the Sentinel, already blind, would never let her go. Thus, at the young age of ten, the female protagonist lost her mother to a Sentinel rampage. She was reckless. As one of the rare S-rank guides in the world, she wouldn't go even if she lost ten or twenty other lower-ranking guides, even if she used capsules or pills, if she was afraid of being caught up in the rampage. It was a privilege reserved for S-ranks. However, she dug her own grave, saying she didn't want to sacrifice others.
And if her choice had condemned my only daughter to hell, and if she had found out, would she have gone there? Would the ending have been different?
.
.
.
After losing his wife, he gradually fell apart. The damage his father, driven mad by his mother's death, inflicted was directed solely at his daughter. He was constantly drinking and abusive towards her, and she had no choice but to endure it with her small body. And the only thing that gave her strength was the small, precious comfort of Seok-jin, her older brother from next door.
"Are you okay?"
Should I explain it better?A mocking laugh escaped me. Despite Seokjin's scolding, "How could you laugh so casually in such a situation?" I felt good. No matter how much my father abused me, no matter how much I couldn't see my mother anymore, Seokjin's small concern made me realize I was still alive. The despairing fact that my recovery ability, which had manifested shortly before my mother's death, could revive me no matter how many times I was hit, and the unbelievable fact that my father knew how I felt and beat me even harder. Thanks to Seokjin's small concerns and comfort, I was able to overcome it little by little.
Sometimes, when I felt helpless and resentful of the recovery that kept me alive, and when life felt so helpless, I would sometimes deliberately erase Seokjin's wounds from training and ask for healing, and I felt grateful. At some point, Seokjin became his own father. A father he cared for more than his own father. That was Seokjin.
When I heard Seokjin was leaving, it felt like my whole world was crumbling. With my only ally gone, how would I live? All I could think was negative thoughts. About a week after Seokjin's departure, the female protagonist's power manifested once again. It was Ignore.
Thanks to her father's ability, she didn't have to suffer, but the female protagonist suffered even more. Every night, she gasped for breath due to the lack of guidance despite her high ability. Each night, her heightened senses and nightmares plagued her, making her increasingly paralyzed. Whenever her father attacked with his ability, Ignore would erupt, and whenever he attacked her with force, Recovery would erupt. When she became increasingly distressed by her ability, which would emerge without her consent, her father's violence would end.
After suffering like that, in the spring when I turned 13, I was in terrible pain. After struggling for a few days and waking up, what I faced was,The guiding energy flowing through the body. It was the moment when I emerged as a guide.
But the heroine was merely a newly manifested, high-level guide. She couldn't stop or control the guiding energy that was constantly leaking out. Ultimately, the house was filled with a pervasive guiding energy, and her father, as a sentinel, couldn't help but sense it.
A tingling sensation rose from the tips of my toes, a euphoric guiding sensation. All the fatigue in my body vanished, and even my sensitive senses seemed to fall into a deep sleep. It was truly ecstatic. The guiding sensation seemed to permeate my entire skin. This was definitely radiant guiding. Ah, if radiant guiding is this good, how much better must contact guiding be?
The reason why contact guiding is better than radiant guiding is that even if radiant guiding is absorbed by the entire skin, a lot of guiding escapes here and there and it is only absorbed little by little, whereas contact guiding has a narrow contact area so not much guiding escapes and the guiding that enters through that narrow area passes through every corner of the body, pleasantly filling up the tired body.
Occasionally, a low-ranking Sentinel will become addicted to high-ranking guidance, becoming unable to accept any other guidance. While they can accept guidance from other guides, it consumes a lot of energy and is not easily absorbed, making them dependent on high-ranking guidance to survive. Even then, rather than feeling ecstatic, it feels like something is being forced upon them, making life difficult.
But this kind of guiding felt like something I could get addicted to. In fact, I wanted to use my guiding addiction as an excuse to keep her by my side. My toes curled and wiggled in time with the tingling guidance. It felt strange yet familiar. It didn't take long for me to realize this guiding belonged to my daughter.
The man's eyes lit up. With his lack of guidance these days, he wondered what kind of tyranny this was. Yes. After the death of Yeoju, his wife and mother, he had never considered her his daughter. Of course, before that, she had been a beloved and cherished daughter. But since her death, Yeoju had become nothing more than an annoyance.
Suddenly, the door swung open, and what filled my vision was my father, his watch shining brightly, his eyes brimming with ambition. It was so disgusting, I felt like I was going to vomit. Where had my father, who always threw glass and used force, gone? I didn't like anything about it. Recovery, who constantly fixed me, Ignore, who was useless, even Guiding, who now prevented me from going berserk. I didn't like any of it.
It was horrible. I just hated it. Seeing my father, who had beaten and hated me so much for so long, only now calming down when he manifested as a guide, I felt disgusted at the blood flowing from my body.I just want to end it all like this..I just couldn't believe my father was such a bundle of desires, and it felt like all my happy past was fading away like a mirage. I hated it all. I was sick of it all.
Dad slowly approached. Don't come. Get away. I'm telling you to go. I screamed inwardly, but no sound escaped my lips. No. No. No. No matter how much I screamed, Dad didn't hear. Because the words hadn't actually come out of my mouth... No, even if I had screamed loudly in the first place... would Dad have heard? With his eyes rolled back like that?
His expression grew increasingly desperate. Sensing the threat posed by the guiding, he unconsciously locked it. Then, Dad smacked his lips and looked regretful. But soon, that regretful expression vanished, and he approached with a look of greed.
I instinctively avoided him. I pulled my hand back and stepped back. No. I can't let my innocence be taken away like this... My mind felt blank. Even as I slowly retreated, that greedy expression on his face made it feel like my whole body was tied up, making it difficult to move. Cold sweat ran down my back, a chill ran down my spine, and goosebumps appeared. That... wasn't the father I knew.
"Come here. Are you a good person?"
"I, I hate it... Really... I hate it..."
" no? "
" !!!... "
He rolled her over with a soft smile, but when she said no, his expression suddenly turned cold, and her body froze as if bound by a thick chain. With a snicker, the figure slowly approached her, and she came to her senses. Did she reach out again to push him back? The firm touch at her fingertips was driving her crazy.
Yes. Now, I was truly cornered, like a rat. There was no more room to run. There was no way out. The expression on my face, already hardened by the constant, not-quite-rebellious, rebellion, reminded me of the past. Well, it was only three or four days ago. In my memory, the same repertoire played out every day.
If Dad's power were to fly at you at high speed, Ignore would block it. Then, enraged, he'd throw whatever he could find. You'd just sit there, and then, as Dad's anger grew, the glass cup shattered in your hand, piercing your pale flesh. The blood that spurted out from the wound would be absorbed into your clothes.
Aah!! When Dad, who had his face crumpled by the sharp scream that pierced his ears, kicked him, the thin capillaries among the blood vessels burst here and there, creating red bruises. Then, the recovery ability also popped up on its own and quickly healed the wounds. After being beaten like that for a long time, when Dad got tired and left, the female protagonist was left panting for a long time with only the guiding ability that was used against her will disappear. When it seemed that the symptoms of a rampage would soon appear, the anti-government sent guides again. No matter what, if she recovered from Ignore, it would be difficult when the rampage broke out.
My body flinched and cringed as thoughts of my life suddenly flashed through my mind. I found myself trembling, sneaking glances without realizing it. And I hated that about myself. My father seemed to notice the slight trembling in his eyes, as if he was trying to hide it, and he smirked. It wasn't a beautiful, wide smile; it was a clear, sly sneer, the corners of his lips slightly raised.
"Don't be too scared. I'm sure you'll like it too."
"Oh, no..."
"Why do you keep avoiding me? I told you to make me feel good."
"Poem, I don't like it..."
"Oh, shit. This is so fucking expensive; aren't you going to ask for more once you've done it and it's so good?"
"No, that's not true.."
"How do you know that? You have to try it to know."
"I don't like it... really."
"But isn't it better to learn from your dad than from someone else? How do you do this? What does it feel like? It'll be good to know these things when you do it later."
"Poem, I don't like it!.. Don't come!! "
"Why are you like this~ Since it's your first time, I'll take it easy~"
"Ha, don't do it... Gosh!! "
Shut up. This is all I can give you.Her father suddenly grabbed her hair and spoke. It felt like her scalp was about to peel off. Her hair, slightly messy but neatly tangled, quickly became tangled in his thick hands. Her back bent involuntarily, and her free-spirited hands naturally reached for her head.
"Ahhhh!! Ahhh, it hurts!! Let me go, please!! "
"Shut up! You're just guiding... A guide is supposed to guide, right?"
"No, I don't like it..."
My words were swallowed as my lips roughly touched his....dirty, really..I felt like I was going to vomit. From the moment our lips touched, I felt dirty. At some point, my very existence was being slowly eroded. Tears streamed from my eyes, and I struggled, but there was no way a thirteen-year-old girl could defeat a grown man.
Tears flowed from my eyes. I was scared. But the reality that I could only shed tears like this made me crumble even more. I didn't want to abandon my first experience to a father I hated so much. At only 13 years old, I felt helpless at such a young age.
My lips parted, and I felt a dirty hand. A gentle hand brushed over my chest, which had gained some volume as I matured and entered puberty, and settled on my perfectly smooth stomach. The feeling of the heavy, adult male hand filled me with indescribable fear.
Swish— Dad's hand grabbed my skirt and lifted it up. Just as I was trembling with fear, his watch rang with a beep. It was the order to go to the scene. He muttered a curse under his breath and shook his head as he left.
As soon as her father left the house, the heroine stormed out and searched for her boss. She told him everything from beginning to end, but he had no intention of listening. It was simply a matter of personal circumstances, and because of those personal circumstances, she couldn't dismiss her father, who was quite useful.
The heroine, trembling with betrayal, returned home, packed her belongings lightly, grabbed a few groceries, and fled the anti-government camp. Then she ran, running and running. She had no idea where her father might be, or what would happen if she were caught, and she didn't even want to think about it.
After running for a while, I bumped into someone who hadn't seen me coming. The man was an adult. He grabbed the arm of the small, petite woman who was being thrown back after bumping into him. Then, in a gentle voice, he asked,You look young. What brings you here? Are you lost?Even though I knew I shouldn't have done that to his affectionate voice, I rudely grabbed the hem of his pants and pleaded with him. It was that urgent at the time.
I never suspected they were anti-government, nor did I need to. Even if they were anti-government harassing others, we relied on each other as fellow comrades and got along well, so if they were anti-government, I would have recognized them. The anti-government's appearance was the opposite of the center. If the center was a small country, the anti-government was a large village. There were mansions and various facilities centered around headquarters and branch offices, large and small, where meetings and various other tasks were held. And because the anti-government was not that large, everyone knew each other's names, faces, and circumstances.- I think you can think of it as roughly the relationship between neighbors from the Joseon Dynasty in historical dramas. -If the lady next door or the old man in front of the house feels sorry for the father who has lost his mother and has gone crazy, and takes pity on the female protagonist who is suffering because of it, I think that says it all.
That's why I was able to follow this man, who didn't know me and didn't know me. And that's where I arrived... This very place. The center. The one who took Yeoju in that day was also the center director. In reality, the anti-government forces weren't very civilized, so they didn't have such tall buildings. Perhaps that's why it felt so strange and awkward.
Following the director into his office, Yeo-ju had no choice but to tell him everything. After hearing her story, the director took pity on her and took her in. To be more honest, Yeo-ju's abilities were so unparalleled that he could barely stand to be left alone. But even that was enough for Yeo-ju, and she was so grateful and happy.
After that, the heroine was plagued by occasional nightmares, but each time, she endured each day, thinking of Seokjin, who was like family to her, and the consideration of the center director, who was like a benefactor to her. Finally, she joined this team, and met Seokjin, whose features were more distinct than before, but whose face was clearly recognizable.
"...That's my story."
"Kim Yeo-ju, you..."
" ..... "
"I, I... I don't even know that..."
Starting with Seokjin, who was staring at Yeoju with a serious expression, and Jungkook, who was even holding a tissue and crying, everyone's expressions gradually relaxed and became more serious. I had expected something to hurt, but I didn't know it would be this bad. Taehyung had only vaguely seen the details, but this was the first time he'd heard such a detailed story.
“Have you been carrying that pain alone all this time?”
"13 years old... so young..."
"Aren't you crazy?"
" ..Aren't you still young?"
"Oh, that's..."
The female protagonist was flustered, but they were struggling to calm their rising anger. They were barely holding back the urge to storm out and tear apart the man who had hurt this small, fragile child. But when the female protagonist, a new member smaller and more delicate than them, spoke indifferently and calmly, as if nothing had happened, their heart ached even more. Even amidst all this, Hee-yeon felt infuriated, feeling the spotlight was on the female protagonist, not her.
"Then what is your rank?"
Now that everything was revealed, it was a fact that could no longer be hidden. If you were to say, "This is a situation where there's no mood, how can you say such things?", I wouldn't say anything. But someone had to bring it up. That was Namjoon's role as leader. He couldn't be swayed by personal feelings for the sake of the team.
"Oh, that's not yet..."
"Then let's go see again."
Heeyeon grew anxious. If she were better than her, she might become irrelevant to this team. But regardless, she had to check the ratings anyway. It was a moment when the facts that had been tightly shrouded in mystery were beginning to surface, one by one.
Today was really long, wasn't it?! It was hard...
Oh, you came quickly?!
Actually, I started writing this right after I uploaded the first part.
It took only three or four days to complete... I appreciate it...