If everything becomes a regret.
***
"So, you fell asleep without even knowing?"
"Yeah. I guess I'm stupid. Why did I try to forget?"
I held that photo tightly in my arms and cried for a long time. It seemed like even the tears that could wash away all my sorrow weren't flowing. In the end, my sadness couldn't even be washed away by tears.
When I came to, it was already the next morning. I wanted to cherish this happy memory. But time, reality, seemed to hold me back. I had no choice but to leave behind the fleeting moments of happiness and fall back into the cold reality.
I walked to work with heavy steps. But was I even able to come to my senses? I couldn't concentrate, as if I was addicted to the sweet happiness that had come so long ago. As soon as lunchtime arrived, I fled from my department. Then, as if clutching at a rope, I climbed up to the rooftop.
The moment I opened the door, the first thing I saw was a clear, cloudless sky. My stuffy chest felt like it had been lifted. That's when I heard a familiar voice behind me. It was Jiyeon's voice that brought peace to my mind.
"I shouldn't have done that."
"Why on earth did I try to forget Jimin?"
"Don't blame yourself too much. It's not your fault."
Seeing my depressed state, Jiyeon calmly offered comfort. It wasn't anything grand, but it was heartfelt. When I collapsed and thought I couldn't get back up, Jiyeon was always there, silently watching over me.
Just then, a memory I didn't want to think about came flooding back to me. My head was pounding and I felt dizzy. It felt like everyone around me was whispering. Jiyeon silently patted me on the back.
''People still don't look favorably on taking their own lives.'
“It keeps bothering me that you keep talking like that without even knowing the pain the person involved feels.”
"Rather, it was I who should have died. If only I had noticed even a little back then. If only Jimin hadn't regretted that day for the rest of his life."
"Come to your senses. Even if it wasn't your fault."
"And, it must have been the person involved who tried not to make that choice."
"I struggled to avoid making that choice, but in the end, it didn't work out."
"Rather, they should think about it themselves."
Jiyeon remained silent after those words. She simply patted me on the back, as if she knew how I was holding back tears.
"So, I'm planning to have a meeting with the other company today. They proposed it first."
"I'm not feeling well today, so can I ask someone else to do it for me?"
"Yeah. They said it had to be me. That's why I'm secretly cursing that company so much."
After some time had passed, Jiyeon and I were talking about today's meeting. I'd already offered to skip it due to poor health, but I was informed that it had been canceled.
Then Jiyeon brought up the subject of her boss. Apparently, she had a lot to say. For 30 minutes, she spoke at a rapid-fire pace, barely pausing for breath. I was slightly surprised by her outburst, to the point where I wondered how she'd managed to hold it all together.
Lunchtime was almost over, and Jiyeon and I returned to our respective departments. Then, some time later, I suddenly received a call from the other company. And it wasn't from the departmental phone, but from my personal cell phone.
Hello. I am Min Yoon-ah, the head of the human resources team at BH Company.
This is JN Company, which previously proposed collaboration.
I was wondering if you could come out now.
Yes, I will go now.
Changing the meeting time out of the blue using my personal cell phone? What the hell is going on? This is ridiculous. It's obvious our company was the one who proposed first, but the other company was the one who did. I chuckled and left the office, feeling a little irritated.
"Hello. My name is Seon Ah-hyeon from JN Company."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Min Yoon-ah from BH Company."
In fact, when I first saw her, my whole body froze. Seon Ah-hyun. My high school classmate and a bitter enemy. I never wanted to speak to her again. I suppressed a frown and smiled mysteriously. A first-timer might think it was a favor, but it was Im Ra-hee. She must have understood that I didn't want to see her again.
This kid, for some reason, was jealous of me. Everyone said it was because I was so talented, but in reality, I wasn't any better than him. Family, grades, friends. He had it all.
Originally, they weren't such bitter enemies. Whenever Kim Taehyung and Sun Ahhyun encountered each other, they would just growl at each other. But at some point, the look they were giving me was enough to make me their enemy.
Anyway, I didn't say anything. Why? Because the voice on the phone was a man. A voice I'd heard many times. A voice I remembered, but denied the voice the moment I saw Seon Ah-hyun.
Just then, someone opened the conference room door and came in. That's when I saw Seon Ah-hyun's smile. And when I turned around, I finally understood what that smile meant.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Kim Tae-hyung, a representative from JN Company."
It's been exactly 10 years since I saw the face of Kim Taehyung, the man who betrayed me.
"I don't like him. Park Jimin."
.
.
.
.
"Well. I somehow became close with Park Jimin."
.
.
.
.
"You're lying, right? No? Tell me it's not true."
"There's no way Park Jimin would have died. You were always by his side!!"
.
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.
.
"I hate you. The murderer who killed Park Jimin."
"Long time no see, Min Yoon-ah."