The memories of when I was seven were a kind of trauma for me. Now, as an adult, my mother remarried a wealthy businessman and stepfather. Thanks to this, her rise to the position of a successful husband's wife was a breeze. She proudly portrayed her past life at the bottom as a mere nightmare, as if this was her place. When she feigned sophistication in front of others without batting an eye, her brazen bravado was awe-inspiring.
However, our family was so harmonious that we ate three meals together without a single word of argument, and thanks to my father and his family, who gave me so much that I didn't deserve at my age, I was actually grateful for my remarriage. Such was human greed. Perhaps it would be different if I never had it in the first place, but I couldn't naively let go of what I already had. I would protect it with all my might, so if possible, I wished I could completely erase all my childhood memories. I resembled my mother. I hated the past terribly, and the guilt that followed the memories made me sick to my stomach, sometimes clutching the toilet and retching. Especially that face.
"Sigh······Fuck."
Standing at the sink, I washed my innocent face a few more times. My bloodshot eyes showed no sign of calming down. I roughly ran a towel over my face. Lately, I've been having nightmares about climbing a mountain path. Everything I had to give up to come to this house. My cumbersome pride and will. And...
A lump of blood.
nightmare
Selfishness is inherent in everyone. I was seven years old, before I could even fathom it myself. Around the time my brain had grown to a certain size and I could think logically. Rather than the textbooks teaching me to compromise, I cultivated the ability to weigh pros and cons and choose the option that would benefit me. My younger brother was the complete opposite. Left alone, he was a fool who couldn't even handle his own share. His personality was so naive that whenever he got into trouble with the neighborhood kids, he'd always get beaten up, and the first aid kit was always out. I'd sit in his one-room apartment, dabbing ointment on his cheeks. If I complained about him being the one who got in trouble, he'd just laugh, his words utterly ignorant.
"If I hit them, they'll get hurt."
"······."
"That's bad."
To be honest, I couldn't believe such a fool shared my blood. After closing the lid, I said nothing more. It was because I'd realized that a sibling was of no use to me. A few days later, my mother, who only occasionally showed up at dawn, brought an old man home. I had a gut feeling he wasn't just here for a one-night stand. It was my stepfather.
It seemed like the habit of wandering around since I was a girl hadn't been completely in vain, as I brought back something big. Expensive jewelry caught my eye at first glance, a matching suit, and shiny shoes dangling from my eyes. He greeted me kindly, but then looked at me and my younger brother, and gave me a look of concern. I guess he was thinking, "Two kids?" I agreed. Two is too many to be happy. I lowered my head slightly and stared at my younger brother's face, who was sleeping next to me. Without any excuses, I was a truly bad child.
"ㅡAh, you have to count to 60 seconds here. Got it?"
"Yeah, sis. But the warehouse is so scary..."
"You don't want to play with me? This is how hide-and-seek is played."
A warehouse next to an abandoned house on the mountaintop. Children often stopped by during the day to test their courage, but now, with fewer visitors, the door is covered in dust. -This one, as if frightened, leaned against the wall and chewed his lips. I felt a sting in my chest, and my temper flared. The sullen, drooping figure still looked dazed from the yelling. Oh, how pitiful. She blindly believed her older sister's words, unaware that she would soon be abandoned. Soon, numbers began to leak out of my sister's mouth. One, two, three... I hurriedly and quietly slipped out of the warehouse.
"······."
Then I closed the iron gate. The rusty creaking sound was so vivid it seemed like it would pierce my eardrums. Crunch. I heard someone talking from inside, but I shut my eyes tightly, covered my ears with both hands, and walked down the mountain path. It was locked, so there was no way I could open the door from the inside. -He's trapped. I locked my brother in. I plan to tell someone before I leave this town, so maybe he'll be found tomorrow at the earliest. I ran down for a while, then accidentally stepped on a tree branch, lost my balance, and tumbled halfway up the mountain. My knees were scraped, and the corners of my eyes were red. Even though it wasn't a serious injury.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I'm sorry...."
After mumbling a few unheard apologies, I wiped my eyes, shook my legs, and got up. I kept hearing my sister's echoes outside, so I walked straight home. After bringing the old man home, my mother was home in the morning, and I was able to relay the news. "Mom, -ee is missing. We went out together earlier, but I think she got lost." The listener's expression shifted back and forth. First, confusion, then a faint smile, and finally, an awkward sadness. Truthfully, I hadn't meant to deceive her. I was simply fulfilling a shared desire, one she and I shared. That day was the first time I'd received genuine care, love, disguised as concern. Without even reporting her missing, we fled to my stepfather's house. It was a distance we couldn't walk. We were a truly close family.
Bang-
So, what happened now could undoubtedly be called my karma. The nightmare that kept me up at night was a warning from someone, and the face etched in it was a symbol of what I would soon face. The abandoned dog was gnashing its teeth somewhere unseen. The sharp, squeaking sound of metal seemed to tear my head apart.
"Ah... s*ck,"
My body was slammed onto the cold floor. Unlike outside, there was no sound in the VIP room. Before my eyes, a man who claimed to be the head of the casino I was in sat with his legs crossed. He was precariously spinning a glass of whiskey in one hand, as if to say he'd crush my skull with it if I got in trouble. Late at night. At the entrance to my house, five or six men with faces too suspicious to be coincidental. The look they all shared was so disgusting, but the biggest of them, the one as big as a bear, had grabbed me and forced me to the floor. Blood ran down my face.
"Long time no see."
A subdued voice vibrated throughout the room. I know this man. Knowing him, I lack the courage to confront him. I never dared to think he'd be ordinary, but I never thought our reunion after nearly ten years would be like this. The man looked at me and chuckled, a hollow laugh. Then, with a thud, he gently twisted my wrist. The sound of footsteps followed, clack clack clack, resonating clearly against my head.
A faint, creepy image clearly showed me the figure. Again. A well-polished shoe clattered into my neatly focused field of vision.
I meet him as he gestures with a firm grip on my chin.
"Sister."
"······."
"Hide and seek is over."
The true nature of nightmares.