hi?
miss you.
There are so many things I want to say to you.
I don't have the confidence to contact you
Even if we met, I wouldn't have the confidence to tell you all these things.
I'm just fiddling around like this by myself
"Let's break up."
"why?"
...
"There's no reason to see you anymore."
You answered "Okay" as if you were dumbfounded.
Actually, it was a lie.
I don't know why I did that back then.
That I like you
When you first found out, it was already too late.
You had only had your first girlfriend for two days at that time.
I felt really empty.
If it was going to be like this, I should have said it a little earlier.
It was okay though.
Because you and I were still good friends.
You and your friends probably didn't know.
Even while spending two more years with you as friends,
That I've always liked you.
I'm trying to forget you
I've met all the guys who said they liked me.
Of course, it didn't last long.
I deliberately spread a rumor that I liked a close senior at school.
That senior told me that he was going to keep dating his friend.
So, if you say you like that senior,
I thought the rumors would be covered up and I could keep my crush on you a secret.
Unfortunately, that didn't last long, did it?
And you continued to date your first girlfriend for those two years.
I'm talking about that really cute kid who looked good with short hair.
But you said that to me during winter break.
They say that love doesn't feel like love
I didn't start dating because I liked him from the beginning.
It felt like we went from being strangers to becoming friends.
I don't know what this is or what it is.
So at first I thought it might be because you were in your first relationship
Isn't that kid really a good kid? I think he's really cute.
I said that, but you still said you didn't like that relationship.
I'm a little annoyed, so if you're going to do that, why are you dating me?
Does it make sense to date someone you don't even like?
I would have told you to break up instead
Now that I think about it, it's ridiculous that I said that.
Actually, at that time, I secretly hoped you would break up with that girl.
But I was surprised when I heard you broke up with her the next day.
We met with our friends every day during that winter vacation.
You guys broke up so casually and nonchalantly.
You should have broken up a long time ago
I feel so relieved
All my friends said the same thing.
So we started school.
That semester, my feelings for you were almost completely gone.
I thought we could become really close friends.
But I guess it wasn't you.
It was a rainy day, and I didn't bring an umbrella.
I was asking every friend passing by to hold my umbrella for me.
Of course, I asked you that too, without any hesitation.
You held the umbrella for me more easily than I thought.
I said I would take you.
Was it because it rained that day or because I was stuck with an umbrella?
Your scent, which was originally strong, was unusually strong.
Yeah, maybe it was because of the scent.
My head is spinning.
Do you remember that day?
The day my classmates all came to my house to play.
My house was so close to the school that I could say it was almost in front of the school.
So my friends came over to play often
That day, as usual, you came to my house with your friends
After eating ramen and playing around, I went home on time for the bus.
But you strangely refused to go and stayed until the end
You played cards with me.
Even then, I didn't know.
And after that
I was whining and complaining to my friends that I was lonely.
I used to joke around and say, "Do you want to go out with me?"
The day we started dating, we were rolling around on the floor and playing around.
Then I got tired and just sat on the floor and said to the kids passing by
We were joking around about dating again,
I just played that prank on you right in front of my eyes.
But then you laughed and asked, "Really?"
I was a little embarrassed, but I thought you were joking
"Really!!!" he shouted.
Then you ran away with my phone as if it was a joke.
I always chased after him, telling him to give it up.
You confessed to me in the empty lot behind the school.
I'm not joking, let's date for real.
We dated like that and it was a little awkward
It was really nice meeting you.
After that, we always went together during the 2 nights and 3 days school trip and the 1 night and 2 days experiential learning trip.
They just kept showing off that they were a couple.
It was really good back then...
It was summer vacation when we broke up.
Actually, I don't really remember why I broke up with him back then.
I was just scared while we were dating, you don't know
Everyone kept asking me why I was dating you.
But you know I have low self-esteem
That just made me feel like I wasn't good enough for you.
When we break up
I was really worried about how to answer if someone asked why.
I said such harsh words without realizing it.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that...
But you quickly found another girlfriend.
I'm glad you seem okay.
So I've met other boyfriends a few times too
But I still can't forget you.
I guess you're bigger than I thought.
So, the last 3rd year, I didn't meet anyone
So I graduated.
I can really say that I've forgotten everything now
Is it because it's fall?
Sometimes, at dawn like this, I think of that time.
Looking back at what I wrote, I realize I'm really bad.
Because I can't sort out my feelings, I hurt other people.
Same for you...
It's not like I just hated you once
I'm sorry for being rude to you
I wanted to tell you, but now I can't..
I guess this is a small punishment for my mistakes.
It's such a cliché, but
I hope you are doing well.
hi.