I played with the girl in my room systematically, pulling her closer when I needed help, asking her to feed me, staring at her for long periods until she became nervous.
The nurse on the afternoon shift was even more stressful than the previous one; she was younger than me but not as young as Baby. She came to my room so frequently that we began to think she must not have much work to do.
At dinnertime, our guard came to ask Baby if she wanted anything special for dinner, since she'd gotten food from the vending machine at lunchtime. She said it wasn't necessary because the vending machine food wasn't bad, so I ordered some combo meals with hamburgers for her, and if I was lucky, some would be for me too.
The new guard brought the delicious hot food just in time; I'd been given a horribly bland stew and I was still hungry. I stole a hamburger and rushed her over to help me put sauce on it. She ate something too; we were eating dinner in silence and watching a movie on her laptop. We'd decided on a scary one she hadn't seen yet, and she turned on the English subtitles to understand better.
Baby was startled when someone abruptly knocked on the door and took my half-eaten hamburger from my hand, checking that it was clean with her hands to do so quickly, before going to see who it was. I covered my face and stopped to watch the nurse rummaging through things before deciding to take my temperature and vital signs; it's the worst kind of pain being examined by a woman who's trying to seduce me. She said she'd bring my medication in a moment, so I shouldn't close the door.
Baby left the door closed but unlocked, so we realized she was back. She came over to feed me a few more bites. When we heard the door, I was holding her hand while she held the food, so I couldn't use them to wipe the obvious trace of sauce on my cheek. Baby licked it off with a kiss as I hurriedly put my mask back on, trying not to chew when the nurse looked at me. My companion's face was red as he ate some fries.
The nurse took her time putting the medication on me and tried to stroke my hand; I pushed it away, saying it was fine, as roughly as possible, with my mouth almost full.
She insists that I call her anytime or for help getting to sleep, emphasizing certain words, and even had the audacity to suggest keeping me company if I wanted. Baby thanks her with the fakest smile I've ever seen, as she follows the nurse to properly lock the door.
- Good Lord... who does the hiring here... if you need action at night, you should hurry up and go see the one who gave you that obviously large ring, which you don't even take off to work - she almost bit my hamburger but realized in time to give it back to me.
The movie ended and I realized I was eating very slowly to pay attention to the film and help myself. I went to the bathroom but couldn't use the nighttime products properly with one hand, so I left them there and got into bed to try to find a comfortable position to sleep or at least rest.
She came out of the bathroom glowing from using her skin treatment and brought mine to apply. That felt great on my skin, but lying on my side all night was another challenge for me.
Baby wasn't comfortable either; her pajamas bothered her, so she used her phone's light to change. She was very pretty and had a sweet personality. Despite my teasing and demands, she stayed in a good mood and took care of me as if I were the most precious person to her.
"Hey... can't you sleep? If you'd like, I can let the nurse know; she'd be happy to take care of you," she said with a smile.
"It's so uncomfortable... but please don't call that woman even if it kills me," she lowered the rails of my bed and sat beside me to massage my good shoulder and neck, helping me before letting me try to sleep a little longer.
I tried to kiss her but Baby said we shouldn't... even if her body didn't reject my intentions, it was true, we shouldn't get close, or maybe I wasn't her type or she already liked someone and it was all a children's game that I wanted to play.
Baby rolled up her blanket and handed it to me to lie down on so I could be more comfortable; she returned to her seat and tried to relax.
"Suga... are you asleep?" she asked softly, looking in my direction. I wonder what she was thinking about all this time we've spent together.
I like you, and that's something new for me. Sometimes I meet people who approach me, but they always notice something and lose interest or hope with me. I can't trust people easily, but you're respectful and playful at the same time. You don't try to make me read more than what's behind your actions. When you're around, I'm not afraid or uncomfortable, nor do I feel any annoyance at your presence. I must confess that I feel lucky to be like this with you. But if I allow myself to not think about the fact that one day we'll have commitments that keep us apart, with new projects... I'd like to be braver, let you drive me crazy for you and then be able to go our separate ways as if we'd never met... I can't be so cold or strong... I... I feel so attracted that I'm afraid of myself... because I want to touch you, I want to kiss you, I want to know everything about you, and I think I should resist, but your timing is perfect and I don't know what you're thinking, I don't understand you... you make me feel warm, special, and strange... if you just want to play for a while, tell me, so I can think carefully about the consequences.
I didn't think I did all that; I mean, to a certain extent I realized she saw me as a man. I had noticed how she accepted it and tried not to provoke me or degrade herself by begging for my attention. Baby never asked if I liked her or if I wanted anything special from her... she usually responds to my comments with self-assurance.
"Have you been in a relationship before?" I ask, confused. She says not really. She's liked a few guys and gone on a few dates, but the moment any of her red flags go up, it's hard to trust them and go further, or not accumulate more reasons not to fall in love with them.
"How far have you come?" I asked him.
- We kissed and touched each other over our clothes, but not much more. If I didn't trust him, I'd stop it no matter what anyone said... and believe me, it's not pretty... I once had to defend myself. I was so scared that I couldn't tolerate being touched inappropriately for over a year. The guy clearly ran away because I had someone to turn to and could report him. He wasn't a bad person, but one day he took me into a small room and tried to make me touch him. I just wanted to escape, and then I thought about his girlfriend, wondering if she would be safe with that disgusting man... I never found out what happened to them after that... I think you're the first person to ask me about this... my life experience?
"You should have reported him," I said furiously, but she didn't even know the guy's full name. Baby had worked with the woman a couple of times; she wasn't very dedicated to her work, she liked the recognition and being considered beautiful.
I couldn't handle the direction the conversation had taken, getting lost in my thoughts, and then I realized that listening to her had made me fall asleep that night.
