Breakup formula
W. Manggaejjitteok
After hearing the announcement of social distancing, I returned home and immediately collapsed into bed, exhausted. It was strange. My body was clearly tired, but my mind was awake. The words the female lead had said at work kept echoing in my head.
‘No, stop talking. I don’t know why you’re acting like this.
I think I know. But Jeon Jungkook.”
“… …”
“I’m scared. I’m scared of going back to the old days.”
How much thought and hesitation must have gone into your mouth before you could even utter those words. My heart ached, but a part of me hated you for even saying such things. Just hesitate a little longer, think a little longer. My mind understood, but my heart wouldn't move as I wished.
“…Haa, please give me tea.”
I sat up, my heavy body heavy, mulling over the name "Cha Yeo-ju," and reached into my bag for a cigarette. Five years ago, I never smoked, but my current state is the result of all the hardships I've endured. Having endured so much, and with no outlet for my stress, I reached for a cigarette. Thanks to that, I became a heavy smoker in five years, and now I've developed a habit of reaching for a cigarette whenever things go wrong.
“Whew…”
A wisp of smoky smoke flowed out from my lips. With each puff of air and exhalation, I felt smoke filling my lungs and then disappearing. At that moment, I wished the past were just smoke. If I decided to spit it out, it would vanish. But the past never disappears.
“…Sir, come to your senses. Are you here?”
I sighed at the sound of a man's voice echoing through the hallway, my mouth empty and the dust covering my face. Everything was great, but the hallway soundproofing wasn't very good here. It was cheap and the interior was nice, but sometimes I'd hear drunk people singing or vomiting, and the sound would wake me up. I figured someone would just give me a ride home, and I laid back down on the bed, but suddenly my whole body went rigid.
‘Wait a minute, the house in front of us… is it okay?’
As soon as I realized that, I stood up. I strode briskly to the front door, but it opened in less than five steps.
As soon as I opened the door, my cheeks flushed red, and I saw the face of the female protagonist, clutched by a man's hand, almost as if he hadn't walked over. He must have had a lot to drink, because the smell of alcohol hit the air the moment I opened the door.
“…Oh, I’m sorry. Was it too noisy?”
Her brow furrowed automatically. The mere presence of a man beside her was enough to make her frown, but the man also reeked of alcohol, perhaps because they'd been drinking together. As if that weren't enough, her gaze shifted to her waist. He was even supporting her waist affectionately. It was enough to make her frown.
"I'm sorry. I'll bring it to you right away. Miss, can I have the password?"
“Hehe, oh!! It’s Jeongguk. It’s Jeongguk!!”
The woman, her eyes wide open, seemed to know my feelings, but as soon as she met my face, she smiled faintly and pointed at me. The man seemed flustered by her words, too. He looked back and forth between me and her before smiling awkwardly and saying,
“Oh, so you know the lady…”
“Yeah. Right. Jeongguk, my friend... No, no, my coworker!”
The mouth that had been calling her friend changed direction and said she was a coworker. Even if you were drunk, you still remember what happened during the day, right? I sighed, placed my hand on my forehead, and quickly reached out and gently pressed my hand against Yeoju's face. No, the word "crushing" would have been more appropriate. I muttered quietly as I watched Yeoju waving her hand in the air, making a dumbfounded sound.
“Are you a human alcoholic? There isn’t a day where you don’t drink.”
The heroine, barely able to escape my hand that had covered her face, touched her face, frowned, and pouted. Something about her expression seemed quite displeased, and I felt the same way. I didn't like this situation. Neither you, drunk, nor the man next to you.
“Even if you’re my friend, your face looks like that…”
“Do you know me?”
"yes?…"
“You don’t know me?”
“Oh no,”
“Then I don’t know Cha Yeo-ju either. Cha Yeo-ju and I have been together for half our lives.”
It implied that I knew Cha Yeo-ju better than you did. The slight furrow between the man's eyebrows caught my eye. But it didn't matter. I was more concerned with Cha Yeo-ju, who was smiling defenselessly before me, than with the man in front of me.
“Come on, tea. Walk straight.”
“But we will get to know each other better in the future.”
The man's words prickled my nerves. Are we supposed to get to know each other? What the hell is this? I wrapped my arms around the female protagonist's waist and looked at the man. The man, as if he wouldn't back down, was about to wrap his arms around her waist when I pulled her closer and held her in my arms. Cha Yeo-ju, who seemed to be aware of this situation or not, almost closed her eyes and leaned against my chest.
“What? Say it again.”
I was so dumbfounded that I burst out laughing. "Are we going to get to know each other?" I muttered again, then scoffed. No one knows Cha Yeo-ju better than I do, and I'm going to get to know her? That was nonsense. Not only would Yeo-ju never let her guard down outside of me, but I couldn't just stand by and watch, right?
“Don’t you think I deserve it? I’m a blind date guy after all.”
“Blind date?”
I glanced down at the female lead in my arms. Oh, you were talking about a blind date at the cafe during the day. So you ended up talking to me and then went on the blind date? I almost gritted my teeth without realizing it.
"Yes. I don't know what your relationship is with Yeoju, but please don't treat her carelessly. You're not the type of person to treat her like that."
I chuckled. How on earth did I treat Cha Yeo-ju? Even though I knew nothing more about her than she did, I smiled proudly and kissed her head. "In this world, Cha Yeo-ju, I should know her better than anyone else." I'd said it with deliberate sarcasm, trying to make her feel sick, but for a moment, the man's face cracked, and then a smile formed at the corners of his mouth.
"Oh, it's my ex-boyfriend or something. But, did Yeo-ju accept him back? I don't think so. If that were the case, Yeo-ju wouldn't have come on the blind date."
This attack worked well for me. As the hand holding the heroine's shoulder flinched, the man, as if he'd found an opening, put his hand into his coat with a triumphant expression and shook his shoulder.
“Looking at you, it seems like you’re the only one left with regrets.”
“… …”
“If I were Yeo-ju, I’d be a little creeped out. My ex-boyfriend even moved nearby.”
“…That’s not it. If you don’t know anything, don’t talk nonsense.”
This part felt wronged. I hadn't pursued him. It was truly a coincidence. My transfer to the company Yeoju worked for, and the coincidence of our move. It was all coincidence. But today, a man I'd never met before treated me like a stalker, and I felt disgusted and exploded. However, the man, seizing the opportunity, pressed me even harder.
“Coincidence? Well, I suppose moving in is one thing… Don’t act like Yeoju is ‘still’ your lover. That’s just one-sided violence.”
“… …”
Nothing really stood out, but strangely, I couldn't offer any rebuttal. I clenched my fists in anger, almost to the point of turning white, and the man placed a hand on my shoulder. His manner of trying to instruct me, like a sage, was truly repulsive.
"Well, I'll just go today. Please take her home safely. I wouldn't think you'd be that trashy, doing something to a sleeping woman."
“…what the hell are you talking about,”
Just as I was about to say, "What the heck are you talking about?" the man getting on the elevator suddenly stopped in his tracks, took out his phone, and snapped a picture. He then said, "Just in case, I'll take a picture before I go." Wondering what kind of idiot he was, I stood there until the man completely disappeared from the elevator.
.
.
.
.
.
I laid the woman, who seemed to be falling asleep, on my bed, then knelt on the floor and watched. Why did the words he had said before he left come to mind? "One-sided violence." I unconsciously bit my lip. Do you really think that way? Could my foolishness truly be violence to you? I buried my face in the mattress sheets. If that's true, shouldn't I really let you go now? Even in those difficult moments, tears that hadn't flowed yet flowed, soaking the sheets.
“…Is that really true?”
"Ugh, I found myself sobbing without realizing it. I tried my best to keep my voice quiet, afraid of waking up, but the emotions I felt once overwhelmed didn't subside easily. Sobs occasionally leaked through the sheets. I had to hold it in, but I wasn't very good at it. Then, a warm hand touched my head.
"…jungkook jeon."
“…Huh, heroine… sigh.”
I raised my head at the sound of my name being called, trying my best to cover my reddened eyes with my hand, but I couldn't stop the sobs that escaped my lips. I wanted to ask you: Is my foolishness truly inflicting violence on you? If so, then it's truly time to cut it off.
I was hoping you would answer me.
It's not violence,
.
.
.
You too, have some regrets left.
“My foolishness… is violence to you?”
[Jjintteok's Saddam]
I want to keep making Jungkook cry. Seriously. He's so cute. 😆
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