Time to walk down memory lane
Even in reality, I was crying. I opened my eyes to find myself in the school infirmary, and in this completely white space, the dream from earlier flashed through my mind over and over again. I sat up from the infirmary bed and burst into tears.
“Lady, why are you crying?”
It was the same voice that woke me from my dream. I looked to the side with tearful eyes, and saw Jeon Jungkook, looking at me with concern. I resented the fact that Jeon Jungkook was right next to me.
Unlike the Lee Joon I'd just met in my dream, Jeon Jungkook seemed so perfectly normal. Even though I knew my feelings were wrong, I still resented them.
“Did you have a bad dream?”
“……”
“Don’t cry. I told you it’s prettier when you smile. Stop!”
Jeon Jungkook clearly told me not to cry. He told me to stop, that I looked prettier when I smiled. He must have been trying to comfort me, but why does my heart ache so much? Was it because Lee Joon first appeared in my dream and told me directly? It's as if my tear ducts are broken, and they won't stop.
“Huh… ugh, huuuung-.”
I began to sob like a child who had lost his mother. The memories of that day, which I had barely forgotten, or rather, tried to forget, became clearer. If only I had gone to you a little earlier that day. If only your family hadn't been so indifferent to you. If only your teachers hadn't burdened you with their emotions. If only you had a true friend with whom you could open your heart. Would you still be alive?
It seemed like the reason you chose death was entirely my fault. I wasn't the kind of friend you could confide in, and I didn't know your personal circumstances at the time. In the end... I... was just a burden to you, like everyone else.
I felt like I was going to suffocate. I cried so hard my whole body was red, and my breathing was unsteady. It must have been so hard that Jeon Jungkook, who was rolling his eyes, didn't know what to do, but just held me in his arms.
“My lady.”
“Ugh… Ugh, uh…”
“It’s okay, lady. I’m here.”
His embrace was warm. It was warm enough for me, a person with a mental instability, to lean on him and cry. And enough for me to mistake him for Lee Joon.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Jun-ah…”
“……”
“I… I… I’m sorry.”
I cried in Jeon Jungkook's arms, calling out Lee Joon's name. I was so caught up in the crying that I didn't even realize I'd said the wrong name, and I cried for several minutes in his arms.
When I finally came to my senses, I was briefly surprised to see Jeon Jungkook still holding me. I realized once again that Jeon Jungkook was truly a caring person.
“How are you? Are you feeling better now?”
"… huh."
"Thank goodness. I was so worried because you were crying so hard you almost suffocated..."
“Thank you for being there for me.”
"What are you doing with something like this? Just rest a little longer and come back. I'll go to class first."
I also felt that manners were ingrained in me. If someone were to cry in front of me, I would naturally wonder why. But Jeon Jungkook wasn't one of them. Far from being curious, he showed concern for me and then calmly tried to leave the infirmary. He was a type of person I'd never seen before. Out of sheer curiosity, I grabbed Jeon Jungkook and stopped him.
“Aren’t you curious why I cried…?”
“I’m curious, very curious.”
“But why…”
“I thought I was going to make you cry again.”
It was the right answer. If Jeon Jungkook had asked me why, I would have cried again, remembering Lee Joon. I couldn't make any movements as Jeon Jungkook spoke with a gentle smile.
"I hope you have more days of laughter than days of weeping, Yeoju. I feel the same way today, as I did that day we met at the amusement park."
With those words, Jeon Jungkook opened the door to the infirmary and went out. After he left, I lay back down on the bed, pulled the blanket up to my chin, and curled up. My mind was in turmoil. I wanted to share my complicated feelings with someone.
Min Yoongi came to mind. Min Yoongi is someone I can confide in. I had an argument with him earlier, so he's probably angry with me too. That's probably why he hasn't shown up yet. His lips were pouting. You little rascal... Are you so angry because I made a mistake once?
"too bad."
"what."
I hadn't expected a response to my quietly muttered words. I knew immediately that it was Min Yoongi, someone I could recognize just by hearing his voice. Startled, I flinched and lowered the blanket slightly to confirm the identity of the familiar voice.
"yunki min…!"
“I was wrong, I didn’t do it.”
“…I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I won’t say that again.”
It was always like this. Whenever I did something wrong to him, Min Yoongi would always come to me first. Whenever he calmed down and I seemed to be calming down, he'd come to me and ask the same question. Then I'd apologize, and Min Yoongi would pretend to be defeated and accept it.
It was our consistent way of reconciling. Today, I apologized to you for coming first. Min Yoongi approached me, pulled out a chair, and sat down. He then gave me a gentle, gentle peck on the forehead as I lay there.
“How many times do I have to tell you to take care of your health?”
“Tch… Do you know that I just hit you really hard? What if I get hurt!”
“Just showing off…”
My eyes met Min Yoongi's and I immediately burst out laughing. He followed suit with a smirk. I like the way we reconcile. No matter how badly we fight, it always ends in laughter. The reason, of course, is because Min Yoongi always gives in.
I laughed, my eyes swollen from crying so much, and I felt a twinge of hope that we could continue to be friends. I didn't even notice Min Yoongi's reddened ears.
