Time to walk down memory lane
After the commotion on the rooftop, Jeon Jungkook and I sat side by side on the rooftop floor. Considering my uniform skirt, Jeon Jungkook took off his uniform shirt and draped it over my legs. This caused me to look at Jeon Jungkook, who was wearing only a short-sleeved shirt, with worried eyes.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“It’s okay, just cover yourself up. You’re wearing a skirt.”
I've always wondered: Why on earth was Jeon Jungkook so kind to me? Was it because our first meeting was a sea of tears, or was it simply because he felt sorry for me? I've always had these questions about Jeon Jungkook... but today, I finally found the answer.
Jeon Jungkook likes me. His still-red ears reassured me.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Why did you climb up that railing earlier…?”
With Jeon Jungkook's shirt draped over his legs, I slowly began to ask him the questions I'd been meaning to ask, one by one. First, why I'd climbed up to the rooftop railing and walked. I looked at Jeon Jungkook, feeling uneasy.
"I've always loved rooftops. Leaning against the railing and looking up at the sky, looking down at the entire school. High places are always attractive."
“…don’t do it again.”
"uh?"
“It’s dangerous, so don’t do that.”
I felt relieved to see Jeon Jungkook looking up at the sky and speaking in a cheerful tone. He wasn't trying to die... My startled heart began to calm down, but at the same time, I felt something boiling inside me. Worry? Unreasonable anger?
I wonder if mothers feel something similar when their children come home hurt. They're worried, but they're not good at expressing their worry, so they get angry first. That's what I'm feeling with Jeon Jungkook right now.
“What if I step wrong and fall down there?”
“……”
“If you fall from here, you’ll die! I just saw you…!”
I turned my body towards Jeon Jungkook and fiercely attacked him, but then stopped talking for a moment. Jeon Jungkook's eyes, looking at me with anger, were filled with love.
“I was worried… that you might die…”
I looked into Jeon Jungkook's eyes and moved my mouth slightly. As I continued to make eye contact with Jeon Jungkook, I felt a strange sense of unease.
“Hey, are you worried about me just now?”
The corners of Jeon Jungkook's mouth slowly quirked upward. When he asked if I was worried, I couldn't say anything. My heart pounded with the sudden cool breeze. I knew this feeling well. I'd already felt it once with Lee Joon.
I was excited for Jeon Jungkook right now. I'm not sure exactly what it was that excited me about. But it was undeniable that my heart was responding to him.
“Oh, no…”
“Hey, you just said it yourself. You said you were worried I might die.”
“…Yeah! I was worried about you! So, what are you going to do?”
I felt embarrassed. The human heart is such a strange thing. When we're just friends, no matter what we do, it feels so bland, and then I get excited and then I feel like I'm completely tense. When I suddenly lose my temper, Jeon Jungkook chuckles and gently strokes my hair.
“Let’s go down quickly. Class starts soon.”
“Okay, just a moment…!”
Jeon Jungkook stopped stroking my head, stopped gesturing, and started to get up. I grabbed his hand and shook my head.
“Just stay here with me for this one moment. I have something I really need to tell you.”
Jeongguk, who had returned to his seat, looked at me with a puzzled expression. Perhaps this moment could be our last… I was starting to feel nervous. As soon as I brought up Lee Joon, I had to confess that I saw him in you.
“What do you mean?”
“That’s… I…”
My mouth wouldn't open easily. I dare say that in this situation, anyone would have found it difficult to open their mouths. Maybe I should have told Jeon Jungkook everything, but because I was so excited, I... became afraid of losing you.
Jeon Jungkook must have seen me biting my lip and looking slightly uneasy, so he grabbed my trembling hand tightly. He then gave me a pretty smile, as if to reassure me.
“If it’s difficult to say, you don’t have to say it.”
“… No, I have to do it now.”
Seeing Jeon Jungkook's smile strengthened my resolve. I couldn't let this moment pass by. I wanted to make sure Jeon Jungkook wasn't uncomfortable or bothered anymore. I swallowed hard, looked into his eyes, and slowly opened my mouth.
“The reason the kids were talking about you was because of Lee Jun.”
I was terrified to have to bring up the real story now. It was a story I'd never brought up before, except after Lee Joon died and Min Yoongi.
Although Jeon Jungkook pretends not to know, he seems very curious about this story, and I try to bring up my most painful memory in front of him.
