After deciding to meet Lee Sangwon, I finally found RESET for the first time. We’d run into each other often at school, but since dates usually happen outside, there’d never been a reason to meet at the bar. He was, after all, my girlfriend, my boyfriend. I figured I should at least visit the place where my lover works, so I dropped by for the first time in a while.
Going into the bar alone without any friends, I heard familiar classical music. As I slowly looked around inside, most of the tables were already taken even though it was a weekday evening. It was still a popular bar. I quietly sat down at a seat tucked in the corner. The lighting was still dim, with yellow light spilling here and there only over the tables and the bartenders’ stations.
When I casually scanned toward the bar, I saw Lee Sangwon again today, wearing a black shirt. Sangwon was dealing with two female customers. He seemed to be chatting while setting down drinks on the table, but unlike before, he didn’t bend down or laugh with his eyes. He only nodded with a formal lift of the corners of his mouth. One of the women pouted up at Sangwon, and even without listening closely to the conversation, I could hear what they were saying.
“Why have you gotten so cold lately?”
“I’ve always been like this.”
Even the answer wasn’t friendly. It was a familiar sight. He was always like that. Just with me. Though now it’s the other way around.
The woman kept talking, but perhaps deciding there was no need to keep responding, Sangwon focused only on clearing empty glasses. Before, he would even listen seriously to boring stories he had no interest in, but now he was openly putting up a wall.
At this rate, won’t sales drop?
Then Lee Sangwon lifted his head. His gaze, which had been sweeping the bar, landed on me. His expressionless face loosened in an instant. His eyes widened, and life came back into his face. Lifting both corners of his mouth into a grin, Sangwon handed the cleanup off to another staff member and immediately walked over here. The female customer who had been talking to him just moments ago stared at his back with a stunned look.
As soon as Sangwon stopped in front of me, he put one hand on the table.
“When did you get here?”
“Just now.”
“Why’d you come without saying anything?”
“Do I need a reservation to come to a bar?”
Sangwon didn’t answer, just lowered his gaze and smiled. Seeing that, I smiled back. After glancing at the menu he hadn’t even opened, Sangwon straightened up and retied the black apron string around his waist.
“Since it’s been a while, I’ll make you something good.”
I rested my chin in my hand, watching Sangwon’s back as he turned to get the ingredients. Tapping the bar table with a fingernail, tap, tap, I spoke toward the back of his head. I looked at the seat where the female customer had just been sitting. She kept glancing at Sangwon with an annoyed expression. My gaze didn’t seem to register with him at all.
“Hey, don’t go too far with it while you’re working. Selling the place is your job.”
“So what.”
Sangwon answered casually, clinking as he took out several bottles of liquor. Acting like this made me seem exactly like a girlfriend standing guard and being strict. Hah, I let out a sigh. Closing my eyes, I went on.
“It’s for work anyway, and I don’t really mind.”
“Really? I do.”
“…….”
“I wouldn’t like it if you were nice to other guys.”
The unexpected answer made me open my eyes a little in surprise. Sangwon had turned only his upper body, looking down at me with an unruffled face. As if it were completely natural.
“...You’re pretty honest.”
“That’s another one of my charms.”
“…….”
Unbelievable. A laugh slipped out at his confidence. Come to think of it, back when it was Kim Junseo, he couldn’t hide his feelings either. I wondered if I’d thought the same thing then.
“Why are you laughing?”
“Just get me the drinks.”
“Yes, yes.” A flippant answer came back, and soon several liquors and juices started going into the shaker. Seeing me still smiling, Lee Sangwon also began shaking the shaker with a smile on his face. The fact that he only smiled at me didn’t feel bad at all.
*
A few days later, I left the classroom after the liberal arts lecture with Sangwon. Lee Sangwon had my bag on one shoulder and his own on the other. As soon as class ended, he’d taken my bag on his own, saying he’d carry it. The sight was ridiculous and cute, and we were walking along while talking.
From behind us, I heard a murmur, and before I knew it the content had lodged in my ears too. No matter how noisy it got, my ears always naturally perked up at insults aimed at me.
“Wow, those two are really dating.”
“Is it even possible for Lee Sangwon to see just one woman?”
“No Yeoju isn’t any better either.”
“A Casanova and an adulteress. They make a good match.”
My steps slowed. Maybe Sangwon heard it too, because he looked back over his shoulder. The kids who had been whispering hurriedly shut their mouths and looked away. Sangwon’s expression had turned cold and hard. Just as he seemed about to turn back, I grabbed his arm. I spoke as if it was no big deal. Rumors like this were familiar from the start.
“Casanova and an adulteress, huh. That’s funny.”
“Funny, my ass. They’re just spouting off about people they don’t even know.”
Sangwon was still glaring toward the back. When I tugged his arm downward, only then did his eyes return to me. In the end, those people didn’t care about the truth at all. They hadn’t before, and they were the same now. My being insulted didn’t bother me much. What bothered me a little more was the fact that the one getting dragged into it was Lee Sangwon beside me.
Sangwon was probably the same. We had quite a lot in common. He’d hate more that I, the person next to him, was getting insulted along with him than the rumors attached to him personally. So if anything, I felt even calmer. What did it matter? I laughed softly and said it like a joke.
“Trash belongs in the trash can.”
“…….”
“So I’m good with it. Right?”
Sangwon looked down at me like I was hopeless and slowly let his expression soften. After catching his breath for a moment, he raised one corner of his mouth as if he couldn’t believe it.
Then, as if to show it off, he draped an arm over my shoulder and used his weight to pull me toward him. Our bodies naturally came closer. I heard a small murmur from behind us again, but this time neither of us looked back.
It wasn’t that we meant to ignore everyone around us. It was a kind of sturdiness that said no matter what those people called us, we wouldn’t doubt each other or push each other away because of it. Seeing that he no longer looked back, it seemed he understood what I meant.
Lee Sangwon still dragged me down the stairs in that ridiculous look, even while carrying my bag. The sounds behind us gradually faded.
“Give me my bag already.”
“Hmm, what should we eat?”
“You look ridiculous, seriously.”
And we went back to the conversation we’d been having earlier. No matter what other people said, it was our own little world that wouldn’t change.
It finally feels like I’ve found the right place. Literally, trash is supposed to gather in the trash can.